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Nothing
by JAPOV - 05/01/26 04:06 PM
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For Dom
by JAPOV - 04/30/26 09:52 PM
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WHEN?
by JAPOV - 04/23/26 11:28 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,430
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,430 |
This reads pretty smoothly all the way through. Greg's got a very good point about this guy being a farmer, though. Besides not being blue-collar in the strictest sense of the term, I think farming is too archaic an occupation to celebrate in a song like this. An ode to an assembly line worker would be better yet. Nit-wise, I'd say "It's a white-collar world, BUT he's a blue-collar man" (Greg's suggestion is good too), and lines 6 and 7 of the chorus makes it seem like he's praying for his own death. What I mean is, you're saying he'll keep on working 'til God lends a hand, and since he'll probably work 'til the day he dies, then..... well, that's the conclusion I got out of it. Really nice job here, guys. Fairly solid stuff. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) Good luck with it. Anthony ------------------ Anthony's BeSonic site-- Open 24 hours!
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