Hey Gavin,

This was a fun song to listen to--perhaps many will surely relate to the internet love game and others will enjoy. I think the song has a humorous yet realistic approach to online dating that will keep the listener's riveted--melody works well with this tune as well. Clever lyrics!

As far as the 2nd vs--my thoughts are if you were to pitch this is that the original verse would of course be funnier and maybe more direct to the point, but I think it may after several listens start to lose its original humor and begin to lose the original unexpected humor and gradually become considered a bit crude--thus I think your 2nd version will get the same message across without losing it's longer term humor and also be less disconcerting in keeping a listener's full attention -- Ex: In a live stage show when a line gets a big laugh, the characters on stage wait till the laugh dies down a bit before continuing their upcoming dialogue so that it doesn't get lost in the scene etc.-- you can't do that with a song however.

Maybe I'm wrong and its not a big deal, I do surely think its funny, but longer term, the more bland version may 'stay' funny and appeal to a wider group--but you follow your own instincts, as a songwriter, its cool to be brave as well!

steady-eddie