"She’s a modern lover, doesn’t play by the book
You’ll never reel him in without that bait on your hook
And no, he won’t have a seizure when he sees her
She’s pretty sure that picture isn’t really him either"

That's priceless, Gavin. A fun little romp. One observation as a listener and of course that's totally subjective. There are a lot of verses and they are all strong lyrically but it started to lose some of the comedic effect for me after awhile as a result with the only break in the action being the brief solo.

It seems to my ear that one of two possibilities would strengthen it in that regard. And I'm only going to spend this much time in details cause frankly, the song and your tongue in cheek delivery kind of remind me of...well...ME!!! Okay, okay, so I liked it on its own merits. There. Are ya happy?

So...The observations...

1) Cut a few verses. I know it's hard when they all have their own individual charm but to strengthen the whole work it might be prudent.

2) And this might be preferrable of the two. Keep the solo and maybe even add a little turnaround or something completely abrupt and out of the ordinary musically just for a second...something perhaps just a bit quirky musically (just enough to raise an ear but not be distracting) with the briefest of pauses just to throw the listener off the scent..and then jump right back in just as abruptly with the chorus, "Modern Love" and continue on with the remaining verses. Another option would be to take one of the more humorous verses and make it into a bridge. You'll break the monotony a second time while maybe even giving those lines a brighter spotlight as a highlight...and then go for the finish in a last verse.

Lots of words, I know. I'm to the point of not making suggestions with an eye on "pitching the song" anymore. I think a more impactful input from me is simply, did I like it or not and why. That's what the audience we all seek is listening for. They're not record company execs. They are not going to try to pick the pepper out of the fly droppings through a magnifying glass either. Did it or didn't it move them in some way emotionally.

In this case suggestions are for the purpose of simply making it more impactful in its whimsy and comedic element....or not. Why? Because it moved me on an emotional level. It was lighthearted and made me grin a lot through the journey. I feel it time well spent.

Regards,
Steve


I'm the only person here who is not unique.