Hi Owen and Alan:

I really like the direction this song takes. A bit dark but in songwriting, there are no rules. Only judgement after listening. Most of us don't get past the first twenty seconds... LOL! ...but this one clearly does. I valued the melody a bit higher than the lyric but both are good. My advice would be to haul it back to the hanger, break out some "fire-water" and give it some tweaking... mostly by considering variations on the "hookers" portion of the song... it tends to be a bit weary on the ears after three repeats. Bud is right about the "build" as the song progresses.

Thanks for sharing and best of luck with your music. ----Dave