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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199 |
Any thoughts? OK. A couple of grammatical things, and I'm not an English expert, but they just feel right to me. I'd make it "we'd made a baby" and "I screamed". You can keep the same d and just move it a few lines  And the guitar washing up seems a little strange to me. Did he go out himself in a boat at night with his guitar? Anyway, I'd do something different with that line- I'll leave it up to you what. Bill
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