I'm going to spend some time re-reading through everyone's comments and pick out the stuff I should seriously give some consideration to, in order to improve the song and make it better than it is.

I too was impressed with Bugsey's insight when he asked me if I had written to an existing hook.

I wanted honest feedback before I decided to shop this song, so I'm glad that's exactly what I got from everyone here. :-)

Back to the drawing board it is....hehe

Also, Brian. Thanks for your input. I'll for sure suggest to my co-writer/producer on this song to remind the vocalist that I'm shopping this song for an American market base and the pronunciation of the lyrics need to be spot on. I listened back and I see what you're saying, which validates what everyone else on this thread already said as well. If the singer articulates the lyrics well, then the audience won't be asking, "What is he saying in the song," and a lyric sheet isn't absolutely needed in order to decipher a song.

Thanks everyone once again for your feedback.