Okay.. heard it....

hmmm.... where do I start. Either the vocalist needs to get his butt back in the booth and learn to enunciate the words for an American English listening audience OR you need to get back to the writing room and write lines he can enunciate so there's some hope of understanding them. The worst, for me, was the first two lines of the chorus which I believe was one line repeated (someone above may have figured it out, but so what.. I am telling you it is an AWFUL performance throughout of the lyrics. I suspect your war metaphors (which were fairly predictable) worked fine since no one is going to care in a club anyway. The way the Chorus is sung, no one will be singing along with it and so you're left with a predictable melody, predictable war metaphors (which really seem misplaced in a break up song, but whatever) a slick production without anything interesting happening which would cause you to remember anything about the mush you are hearing. Other than that, it's great.

Perhaps I was harsh, but come on Greg, you're a pro, you can do better. Challenge yourself, don't just do the easiest most predictable thing. It was like watching a lame TV Cop show with a plot that had been recycled a thousand other times. I realize your contribution is to create verses for a supplied hook line, track and singer, but this at best would be a marginal throw away track on an album if it made it on it. The singer COULD be good, but damn, he needs a producer to pay attention to his performance and give some feedback to fix the miserable enunciation. In the end, the lyrics don't matter if you have a great track (this was serviceable and generic, but slickly done nonetheless) which this does not, and a sing-a-long worthy chorus while you're grinding on the dancefloor... this doesn't cut it... the war metaphor doesn't lend itself to a hot and sexy song, if you look at the song your borrowed from lyrically, Hit Me With Your Best Shot, you'll see the lines are sexy and walk that line nicely (so I put another notch in my lipstick case...etc...)

Look, you know this business... I don't think you need to rise to the level of country lyrics, it's a pop/dance track. But right now, though you've done yeoman's work on this, the track, vocal performance and chorus do you in before you even added your part which is at least coherent.

I suggest back to the drawing board... and please work with that singer more.. geesh...

Brian


Brian Austin Whitney
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"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney

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