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Bayside
by Gary E. Andrews - 10/19/26 10:48 PM
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Joined: May 2007
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This was written during the 50/90 Challenge. Just looking for any feedback on it. The bridge is troublesome...lol. Any comments or suggestions are welcome!  Only a Dream Well, you’re on my mind again On a brilliant afternoon There you are lookin’ at me And I’m in a real good mood We’re like kids on the beach Running away from rushing waves You roll me up in your arms And love flies across the bay [ch] But it’s only a dream Only a wish Only a lingering hope Will I see you Will we meet again Will the sunrise leave me cold The moon brings a light to us So we dance with the crystal ball A wink for me, a kiss for you And we start our own free fall [ch] But it’s only a dream Only a wish Only a lingering hope Will I see you Will we meet again Will the sunrise leave me cold [br] Fantasies are fleeting But I keep on believing We’ll find our way And you’ll be here again someday Repeat ch ©2012 Kristi McKeever
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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An ego under its own power travels assback. ~ Smarticus
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Very dreamy. The seconf verse sounds like a dream within a dream.
An ego under its own power travels assback. ~ Smarticus
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Hi Kristi,this is really nice!As far as the bridge,i'd change the word "fleeting" and make the last line not so common,get a little deeper.But i sho like this one! Mike
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G'day Wispy,
I'll mainly look at the bridge since that's what you mentioned but in line 3--V 1 a possibility of something about --giving me that come on look
Suggestions for bridge --possibilities
[br]
Fantasies are fleeting
But I keep on believing
YOU'RE ALREADY ON YOUR WAY
And you’ll BE HERE ANY DAY
KOS
Write on
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Like Wy, I wanted to have some indication that this dream will imminently come true...
Nice write.
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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HiDee Mz Sunshine!
Very Likeable Lyric..Tho the Title feels a wee-bit sad...
&..kinda hate to see it end with "Will the sunrise leave me cold" too...
So, maybe "Will this love finally..take a hold" I'll sug for the Very Last Line...& Wish Ya Good Luck with a nice Wistful One, M'LadyChum! KOS!
Best Wishes & Big Hugs,
Stan
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Hi Taggy,
Thanks for your nice comment...a dream within a dream...very cool!
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Michael,
Thanks for your input on the bridge. That's my problem...I couldn't get it to go any deeper...lol...so I keep mulling it over!
Appreciate your nice comments!
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Hey Wy,
Ahhh...I see. You have the happy ending perspective for the bridge. I do think it needs to be positive there and I like your suggestions. I am still thinking about it....as always!
Thanks for the idea in V1 too. I'll do some testing out of words there too!
Glad to have your thoughts and ideas!
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Hi Kristi,
This has a very nice, wistful feel to it! I like how we can feel the singer grasping, grasping....
Hey - one thing -- I think that "rushing waves" might be too strong of a word to describe the waves in a bay. I don't normally think of bays as having rushing water, though I may very well be wrong!
Lisa
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KRISTI--
SOMETIMES IT NOT UNCOMMON TO SHOOT FOR A RADICAL DEPARTURE IN THE BRIDGE--YOU CAN ALWAYS COME BACK TO THE REAL WORLD FROM A DREAM!
MY BR OPTION:
[br]
LET ME IMAGINE
YOU SWEEP ME AWAY
ON A MAGIC CARPET
PAST THE MILKYWAY
WRITE ON--
Mackie
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Hi John,
Okay, so I always welcome ideas for bridges....good to hear your take on it.
Thanks for the nice words!
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Hey Stan, Yeah, the title is meant to have a different kind of spin on "dream" ...I had the idea of "only a dream"...."only" making it different (or yeah, sad) to give it something else...avoid the cliches, ya know.? That's what I was thinking, I think! Maybe I can alternate lines in the chorus! I'll see what that would look like... Thanks for your nice comments and suggestions, Stan! Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Hi Lisa, I like the idea that this feels "wistful!" And yeah, that's the feel of it from my perspective too...grasping. Ya know, I think you may be right about those rushing waves! As I wrote that verse, I had a visual of a beach and it had some rushing waves...good eye, good eye...thanks! I'll have to think what might work better there! I appreciate your thoughts! Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Hey Mackie,
Ya know....bridges often seem to be a source of great contemplation for me! Sometimes too much so! lol Anyway, yeah, going for something completely different could very well add *something* to the lyric. What a sweet idea you have here! I'll check it out and see where it goes!
Thank you so much for your suggestions!
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Wy's suggestion works for me.
Not that I am dogmatic or anything, I always try to reinforce the "core" somehow in the bridge...which I suppose can come from some radical place, as Mackie suggests, or some complementary place.
Again, nice write, and now more complete in my view.
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Thanks, John. Yes, I like to reinforce the core somehow in the bridge...and it could come from different angles, naturally. Wy's suggestion is interesting because it makes it more immediate and I can see how it shows the singer's vulnerability too...that they're not just carried away in thought, but aware of "what is" on that given day.
Appreciate your input!
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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This is a lovely song Kristi, the lyrics say so much, about the sad dream, and the beautiful surroundings it brings.but then there's always the mourn. ~~~MFB III
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Hi MFB,
Thanks for your very kind words! How ironic to have a sad dream and beautiful images surrounding it....appreciate your thoughts on it!
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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