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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Top 100 Poster
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OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411 |
vs
Don't you believe in love at first sight
That fateful glance that changes your life
Unspoken words,unshown emotions
When all that you want is love and devotion
vs
Don't you agree,our meeting was destined
I'll be your lover,therapist,best friend
You'll never need another shoulder to cry on
If you're ever in trouble,I'm the one you'll rely on
Chorus:
So don't fight it baby,we're meant to be together
Accept your fate,you'll be mine forever
I may not be the man you desired
But believe me honey I'm hot and I'm WIRED
vs
You're worth much more than you think you are
You're the rainbows end,my shooting star
You're anything you want to be
And I hope you'll be a part of me
Bridge:
I know you're uncertain,and maybe you're hurting
From a previous relationship that wasn't working
I'm offering a fresh start,a hand up, a true heart
You don't have to end up alone,you and I can share a home
Chorus:
So don't fight it baby,We're meant to be together
Accept your fate,you'll be mine forever
I may not be the man you desired
But believe me honey I'm hot and I'm WIRED
Last edited by joewatt; 05/21/12 02:10 AM.
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067 |
Hey Joe,
This is pretty good! Tweaks below, keep or sweep  vs You'll never need another shoulder to cry on If you get in trouble,I'm the one you'll rely on vs You're worth much more than you think you are You're the rainbows end,my shooting star<<--cliché You're anything you want to be And I want you to be a part of me Bridge: I know you're uncertain,and maybe you're hurting From a former affair that wasn't working
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2010
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Hey Shayne
Pretty Good! coming from you I'll take that as a compliment.As you may have guessed I'm fairly drunk at the moment.(no excuse I know) so thanks for the reply,hopefully I'll be able to give you a more coherent answer later.
Peace
Joe
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
Top 10 Poster
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8 |
Hi Joe
g
Good lyric Joe the only line I'm not so sure about is part of the first line of the C. It reminds me of the old "Don't fight it baby , this thing is bigger than both of us" lol Did someone actually say that!
Best of luck with it
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
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Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1 |
UK JOE--
YEAH--I HAVE HAD A LOT OF THE SAME THOUGHTS--AS THE BOTTLE GOES DOWN, IT SEEMS TO EASE THE HURT--THEN, I CAN'T REMEMBER HER NAME--THEN AFTER THE HANGOVER--IT STARTS OVER AGAIN--
LOTS OF THOUGHTS IN THIS ONE TO BUILD AND SORT THROUGH--GOOD LUCK!
WRITE ON!
Mackie
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
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Hey Travis
Thanks mate,yeah I know some of it's a bit corny but that's what I was going for. It sounds good though.
Cheers
Joe
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
Top 100 Poster
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OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411 |
Hey Mackie
Thanks,dinking! a blessing or a curse? please discuss(lol)
Cheers
U.K Joe
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