|
9 members (texritter, David Gill, Gary E. Andrews, Guy E. Trepanier, Fdemetrio, Everett Adams, 3 invisible),
47,979
guests, and
6,663
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880 |
Getting back to the traditional country ballad. Doug http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11581353"I Blinked" Douglas D. Buche, © 2012 (1st verse) I blinked, and when I opened my eyes again. Everything was re-arranged. There was a whole new world to see, but a without you, with me. (Change key upward) (2nd verse) I blinked, and a tear fell from my eye. It turned gray a clear blue sky. and all I was left with was these feelings. Chorus: Don't want to open my eyes, Don't Want to Move an inch. Don't want to even breathe, until you're here with me. Until you’re here with me. (3rd verse) I reached, and my hand was filled with air, not your soft sweet smelling hair. you did not even leave a dent, in your pillow. (4th verse – pitch up) I looked, in every nook and cranny we knew, there was no sight or sound of you, And the porch swing sat there still, like it was frozen. Chorus: Don't want to open my eyes, Don't Want to Move an inch. Don't want to even breathe, until you're here with me. (Bridge) Am I dreaming? Are those keys jangling at the door? Are those footsteps I hear on the floor? Is that the smell of your perfume? It that you walking into the room? (Final Verse and Ending) I blinked and the sun started to rise. It dried the tears from these sad eyes. And all I was left with was these feelings. Welcome home baby, just let me hold you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880 |
Apparently soundclick was not working for a short time period so I posted the song also on soundcloud here: http://soundcloud.com/heartthumper/i-blinkedDoug
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,943 Likes: 3
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,943 Likes: 3 |
I am going to skip over the lyrics and the music and go right to the production side (ha, ha -- don't you hate that). OK, one part on the song -- you are singing way outside of your natural register and it makes it difficult to understand the words as sung. Enunciation and clarity is everything on country vocals.
I think you have better pitch than I do, but I think you need to re-think your vocal recording and mixing techniques. You are just not getting the vocals to sit in the mix right so they are clearly heard and understood. Some of it is vocal and recording techniques and some of it is mix related. I would drop all the instruments 3-6 db and see how you voice fits in then. Might need to do some EQ and you need to change the key to stay out of that super high register for you.
Keep plugging away.
Kevin
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880 |
Thanks Kevin for listening and constructive feedback.
Yah, I pushed it into a higher pitch register to get more emotion into the song. Sometimes I can hit those high notes without problems and sometimes it is difficult. It can change from one week to the next.
I think I might actually just record the vocals with the mix pitched down more into my vocal range - as you suggested.
Doug
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,858 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,858 Likes: 1 |
Hi Doug, It sounds like Kevin knows what he's talking about... and now -- on to the lyrics.... LOTS of cool lines... I reached, and my hand was filled with air, not your soft sweet smelling hair. you did not even leave a dent, in your pillow. and this too... And the porch swing sat there still, like it was frozen. The Calvinator http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880 |
Thanks Calvin for calling some of my lines cool.
That is pretty cool itself.
Doug
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Top 30 Poster
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712 |
Doug, I like that line "I reached, and my hand was filled with air." But apparently the woman returns at the end of the song. I was disappointed when she did. Jim Colyer
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880 |
Thanks Jim for liking that line and your wry comment.
I like your sense of humour - I mean after all she did leave the guy cold and might just do it again and this time she might just leave his checkbook frozen.
Doug
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880 |
OK I just replaced the original with a revised version with lower pitch and vocals turned up, per Kevin's suggestion. Same spot: http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11581353Doug
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,776 Likes: 24
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,776 Likes: 24 |
Hi Doug,
I'm not gonna review the music, cuz you will work that out eventually.
I just want to say I love the lyric, which could be considered "soft science fiction" which you see in all kinds of movies these days--if you take the singer literally, at his word.
It works equally well as a metaphor for how fast time passes during good times.
A unique hook/look on an old theme. Nicely done.
Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880 |
Thanks Mike
I am gonna have to look into soft science fiction. I had not heard that term before.
Appreciate your feedback.
Doug
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,237 Likes: 16
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,237 Likes: 16 |
Loved this one Doug, seems like such things always happen in the blink of an eye. thanks for your comment on fandalism as well, I will be stopping by your site there to leave some kind words. ~~~MFB III
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880 |
Thanks Matt. Happy you liked it.
I am a newbie to that site so I have not posted any music there yet and doubt that I could catch up to all that you did there.
Doug
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,172 Likes: 8
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,172 Likes: 8 |
Doug,
Really like this lyric, this is very emotional, some really great lines in this. The music seems a bit too upbeat for me, but that is just me being the over emotional singer, this song could really be milked by the singer with a slower, sway of music...but this is a good one Doug!
Tammy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880 |
Thank you very much Tammy.
The idea of a really good vocalist with a great range and a slowed down dramatic presentation would be what I could really like also. I was thinking Rascal Flatts would be perfect for a song like this.
So how can I get them to record it?
Doug
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067 |
Hey Doug, Kevin summed up the vocals and production end of it. I'll address the lyrics, keep or sweep  I blinked, and a tear fell from my eye. It turned gray a clear blue sky. ( Yodaspeak for rhyme's sake: should be "It turned a clear blue sky gray") and all I was left with was these feelings.( Condense: "I was only left with these feelings")
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 880 |
Thanks Shayne for listening and comments.
The version that is posted already has the changes in the music and vocals that Kevin recommended, with vocals tuned up and the pitch lowered.
I like that Yodaspeak comment but that is also Dougspeak sometimes. Understand you, what I mean?
Doug
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
|
Forums118
Topics128,665
Posts1,184,381
Members21,478
| |
Most Online148,207 May 25th, 2026
|
|
|
"If someone is truly a jerk, or truly is not deserving of any positive reply from you, polite indifference is the best response you can give. Do not insult. Do not slam. Do not follow the urge to be nasty. Simply be politely indifferent." –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|