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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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An old lyric that I sort of revamped and wrote different music to. Interested in all feedback.
Only Love Survives
v.1
A mother's touch, a child's sweet laugh
A partner's loving gaze
The hugs I share with my good friends
On carefree summer days
The scent of lilacs in the breeze
A puppy's playful tug
Night sky full of gentle stars
All the things I love
Chorus
And years from now when I look back
I'll see snapshots of my life
What's pure and true is all that lasts
'Cause only love survives
Only love survives
Only love survives
v.2
I've felt the rush of a restless wind
Watched an eagle in flight
Touched the pulse of my own spirit
Laughed into the night
Lost and won a thousand times
Found where my heart soars
Met some folks I can't forget
How could I ask for more
Chorus
And years from now when I look back
I'll see snapshots of my life
When only magic filled my heart
'Cause only love survives
Only love survives
Only love survives
Bridge
There have been hard times
And there has been pain
But they couldn't hold me down
The sun beats so much stronger than the rain
Chorus
And someday when my time is up
And I'm headed for the light
I'll leave these memories here on Earth
I know they'll stay alive
Only love survives
Only love survives
(c) Betty Holt, April, 2012
Last edited by bholt; 04/29/12 11:12 AM.
Betty J. Holt
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Hi Betty
Good hook
A good story
It'd flow better for me with a few lines arranged differently
You may hear it some other way
Only Love Survives
v.1
A mother's touch, a child's sweet laugh
A partner's loving gaze
The hugs I share with my good friends
A carefree summer day
The scent of a orchid in the breeze
A puppy's playful tug
Night sky full of gentle stars
All the things I love
Chorus
And years from now when I look back
I'll see freeze-frames (snapshots?) of my life
What's pure and true is all that lasts
'Cause only love survives
Only love survives
Only love survives
v.2
I've felt the rush of a restless wind
Watched an eagle in flight
IV'E TOUCHED my own SPIRIT'S PULSE
Laughed into the night
Lost and won a thousand times
Found where my heart soars
Met some folks I CAN'T FORGET
How could I ask for more
Chorus
And years from now when I look back
I'll see freeze-frames of my life
When only magic filled my heart
'Cause only love survives
Only love survives
Only love survives
Bridge
There have been hard times
And there has been pain
Some superficial moments
But the sun has always TRUMPED the rain
Chorus
And someday when my time is up
And I'm headed to the light
I'll leave these memories here on Earth
I know they'll stay alive
Only love survives
Only love survives
(c) Betty Holt, April, 2012 _________________________
KOS opf course
Write on
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Hey Betty,
Tweaks below, keep or sweep  v.1 A mother's touch, a child's sweet laugh A partner's loving gaze The hugs I share with best of friends A carefree summer day The scent of a orchid s in the breeze A puppy's playful tug Night sky full of brilliant stars All the things I love Chorus And years from now when I look back I'll see freeze-frames ( snapshots?) of my life What's pure and true is all that lasts 'Cause only love survives Only love survives Only love survives v.2 Touched the pulse of my own soulLaughed into the night Lost and won a thousand times Found where my heart soars Met some unforgettable folks Who could I ask for more
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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Wy, I'm so glad you thought of "trumped". I couldn't find the right word and that is it! I'll also use folks I can't forget. Thanks so much!
Betty J. Holt
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Shayne, thanks for showing me that orchid can be orchids and save a word! I changed it to lilacs anyway.
Betty J. Holt
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Hi Betty, This is really, really nice! I honestly don't see much I'd change. I have a couple of thoughts I'll share with you but I don't think this needs much at all. Chorus And years from now when I look back I'll see freeze-frames snapshots of my life What's pure and true is all that lasts 'Cause only love survives Only love survives Only love survives v.2 I've felt the rush push of a restless wind Because I'm not sure what it meant with rush though it sounds very cool. Watched an eagle in flight I'm sure you know better than I do since you sing but I keep wanting to change this to "watched an eagle fy".Touched the pulse of my own spirit Laughed into the night Lost and won a thousand times This might just be me but with this line I wonder what you lost and won. It's proably just me!Found where my heart soars Met some folks I can't forget How could I ask for more Bridge There have been hard times And there has been pain Some shallow encounters I'm not sure you need this line at all.But the sun has always trumped the rain or you could say outlast the rain it just seems a little more conversational.I really love this Betty! Dottie
Last edited by Dottie; 04/28/12 06:51 PM.
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Thanks, Dottie. How are you? Glad you pointed out some things. Remember, I don't sing,so I don't usually know what sings well. You're right that I don't need "some shallow encounters." In the original version I had "but the sun beats stronger than the rain" (like sun beating down on you vs. rain beating down on you). I could change that lost and won line--haven't sent for any critiques yet. The music is even stranger--I have no idea what genre it is! But I seem quite addicted to just playing it over and over so it must be doing something for me! :-) Probably driving me crazy! Thanks. It's always good to hear from you.
Betty J. Holt
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Hi Betty:
I like this alot and I'm looking forward to hearing it as a song. I tend to be a stickler at rhyming when the opportunity presents itself. Sometimes we have no choice and a "stretch" is our only option. Often, after I've written a lyric, I'll go back and find those places where I "stretched" the rhyming and look for ways to say the same thing in a slightly different way in order to make a "pure" rhyme. So, here is my thought... please use it or "round file it" with my compliments:
A Mother's touch, a childs sweet laugh...
a partner's loving gaze...
The hugs I share with my good friends...
on carefree summer days...
To some, it may not appear to be significant... but your publisher will probably notice it right out of the box.
I did not attempt to tackle the "tug/love" stretch but I hope you can find a way around it, as well. If nothing else, eliminating one of the two "stretches" in a single verse should help.
Best of luck with "Only Love Survives." A really nice title.
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You are right, Dan. That was an easy change to make. Strangely enough, I had something somewhat similar to begin with and then changed it. "Tug" and "love" I see no help for...I wish I had a publisher to tell me it is wrong! :-)
Thanks for your wise thoughts.
Betty J. Holt
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Betty--
You have some great images in this one--lots of great suggestions from others--keep zeroing in on a fine lyric, GIRL!
Mackie
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Betty J. Holt
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