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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1
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OP
Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1 |
Here is a really rough demo of one of my FAWM songs. Space left for solos and fills but none there yet. All comments welcome.... [u][color:#CC0000][size:14pt]Your Mind's a Mystery[/size][/color][/u] Your Mind’s a Mystery - Copyright ©2012 Colin Ward V1 Your mind is quite the mystery, I don’t know what you’re thinking, Take off that blanket, Clue me in CH Are you happy, Are you sad, Are you pleased with me or mad, Too busy, Just bored, Stone-faced but feelin’ glad, Your mind’s a mystery V2 Your mind is just a riddle, Like an egg on a red hot griddle, Must you be such an enigma, Let me in Chorus Bridge Sometimes you’re so insensitive, And then you’re moved to tears, You’re still on the rebound, Still overcoming fear, V3 Your mind should be relaxing A private life is taxing, Don’t have to be an open book, Just crack the door Ch
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,235
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,235 |
I like the guitar groove on this a lot Colin. I like a lot about this. The words are really focused.
I don't get the blanket. Don't explain it to me. I just want you to know that image is a complete 'mystery' to me. I'm pretty lyrically stupid at times though... see what other folks say.
Really nice little tune. Very cool guitar groove.
Peace,
Ian
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
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Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210 |
Here is a really rough demo of one of my FAWM songs. Space left for solos and fills but none there yet. All comments welcome.... [u][size:14pt]Your Mind's a Mystery[/size][/color][/u] Your Mind’s a Mystery - Copyright ©2012 Colin Ward [color:#3366FF]I am digging the melody and guitar work!!V1 Your mind is quite the mystery, I don’t know what you’re thinking, Take off that blanket, Clue me in --oh my...do you mean literally? CH Are you happy, Are you sad, Are you pleased with me or mad, Too busy, Just OR bored, I think or may sound smootherStone-faced but feelin’ glad, Your mind’s a mystery V2 Your mind is just a riddle, Like an egg on a red hot griddle,-- this line had me scratching my head...now if you were to say something like your mind can be cool as a cucumber, or like an egg on a red hot griddle, then I would know she runs hot and cold...BUT then there is no rhyme. I am just not getting the comparison with the egg and griddle..maybe always feel I'm in the middle, like he feels like he is in a war with her mind...not sure..  Must you be such an enigma, Let me in Chorus Bridge Sometimes you’re so insensitive, TOO insensitive may work better? I am just told so often (pardon the pun) that so is not a good work to use..And then you’re moved to tears, You’re still on the rebound,-- I was thinking this was your spouse or signifigant other, until now...this confused me...I think you maybe could go with something to contradict her more..sometimes you want champayne, sometimes you like beer? Still overcoming fear, V3 Your mind should be relaxing A private life is taxing, Don’t have to be an open book, Just crack the door Ch I wish you lots of luck with this one. I know FAWM can be like pulling teeth sometimes. I only have one lyric up so far..eek...  I had trouble understanding a couple of lines in this one but other than that it was fun -- Kim
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,688 Likes: 1
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Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jul 2008
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Really enjoying this music,,,right off the bat, got my feet a dancing....listening as I type. Catchy tune, wish you the best of luck....I'm not doing Fawm this year...maybe will try and work on some lyrics for later...great lyrics....good job Colin...
glyn
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 570
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 570 |
Great job Colin, That guitar and those sentiments fit. I'd like the melody on "feeling glad" to go up like in a question. (I assume you really want to know)
No other changes although "blanket" took me a second listen to catch (and if I'm wrong, I don't need to know either)
Pam
Never think can't do - think how to
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1
Top 30 Poster
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OP
Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1 |
Ian,
Glad you like it. OK I won't explain!
Kim,
Some good suggestions - I will collect them all until FAWM is over.
Glyn,
Nice hearing from you - hope all is well.
Pam,
OK on the melody suggestion. Thanks
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
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Top 100 Poster
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Hi Colin, I love the melody and think this is off to a great start. A few comments below.  V1 Your mind is quite the mystery, I don’t know what you’re thinking, Take off that blanket, Clue me in CH Are you happy, Are you sad, Are you pleased with me or mad, Too busy, Just bored, Stone-faced but feelin’ glad, Your mind’s a mystery V2 Your mind is just a riddle, Like an egg on a red hot griddle, I don't think this line works or else I just don't get it. Must you be such an enigma, Let me in Chorus Bridge Sometimes you’re so insensitive, And then you’re moved to tears, You’re still on the rebound, Still overcoming fear, To me this part brings up questions like
like what happen, what are they afraid of.V3 Your mind should be relaxing A private life is taxing, Don’t have to be an open book, Just crack the door Ch I think it all sounds really cool! Dottie
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