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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,608
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,608 |
Mines from personal experience! But not onstage. I was helping a guy and his wife cast off their boat. I undid the bow line and tossed it to the wife. It hit her in the chest and dropped, she just stood there with a goofy grin. I shoved them off and waved' went back to cast off my own. I looked down whilst I untied mt line and noticed the crew stepping out for some fresh air, if you catch my drift. Thats my story and I'm stickin to it.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 12,212 Likes: 52
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 12,212 Likes: 52 |
98.- You're getting too old to play gigs when she suggests you and her go upstairs and have sex,
and you say, "you can't have both"
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 986
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 986 |
# 99
When Mick Jagger is warming up your audience
Last edited by argo; 02/25/11 03:58 PM.
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788 |
#100
when you call for a cab to take you home not because you've had one too many, but because you can't find those dang keys again
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,574
JPF Mentor
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JPF Mentor
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,574 |
You need a Depends to play a 40 minute set.
You've got to know your limitations. I don't know what your limitations are. I found out what mine were when I was twelve. I found out that there weren't too many limitations, if I did it my way. -Johnny Cash It's only music. -niteshift Mike Dunbar Music
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,589 Likes: 1
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,589 Likes: 1 |
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788 |
And Mike if you sneeze or laugh during the set, forget about the 40 min., I think it cuts it back to around 10 though research hasn't finalized their numbers yet. Unless of course, you are the proud owner of the new and improved Laughing/Sneezing Depends!!! 
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 497 Likes: 3
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 497 Likes: 3 |
I think we are on:
#103 - the pills you pop before hitting the stage include ginkgo biloba and beano
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Top 20 Poster
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Top 20 Poster
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463 |
You refuse a well paid gig cause it involves carrying PA gear up stairs. I just did..... LOL.
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,343
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,343 |
When you answer
What's a Facebook?
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 570
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 570 |
#106 (or so)
when you're singing about a nickle in the Nickelodeon or a dime in a pay phone, and you're surprised if they go "huh?"
Pam
Never think can't do - think how to
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 570
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 570 |
or a 20 cent copy of "Life"
Pam
Never think can't do - think how to
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788 |
#107 when someone asks you if you twitter and you respond "yeah my left eye does on occasion" 
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 85
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 85 |
Oh well, I think it is time to retire!!!!
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
When you have to ask someone younger to take a bow for you.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 679 Likes: 1
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 679 Likes: 1 |
when you're singing the lyrics 8 6 7 5 3 0 9 and yell out BINGO out of habit.
when goupies start throwing their walkers on stage insted of room keys.
when even being asked to open for Red Hot Chili Pepers gives you heartburn.
When you mention Gary and the pacemakers and the audience thinks your cardiologist's name must be Gary.
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067 |
...you have to change the words of "When I'm 64" to "When I WAS 64"
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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