|
7 members (Gary E. Andrews, Fdemetrio, bennash, texritter, Moosesong, Guy E. Trepanier, 1 invisible),
54,620
guests, and
17,651
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2 |
A tale of one obsessed.
THE MARRIAGE PLOT
c2011 Brian Beecher
Caught up in the marriage plot
The prize at hand is high
Going after what he’s got
Has her mind occupied
He generally prefers to keep
Everything under control
A model of stability
But she knows very well
Enjoying too much alcohol
Could alter this ability
They will not be careful of
How much is consumed now
Once he goes under her spell
He will be hers anyhow
Chitchat might not satisfy
Those like her who do require
More stimulating and in-depth time
Devising conspired plans
And imaginative scams
In hope that he will fall in line
Caught up in the marriage plot
Caught up in the marriage plot
Caught up in the marriage plot
She knows her plans have failed
Having taken what he’s got
She knows she’ll land in jail
So she pours a poison drink
In front of his kitchen sink
And hands it off to him
Then she pours one for herself
For to end the living hell
Their bodies lying in the house
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2
Top 500 Poster
|
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 |
Brian, I think you have some good ideas, but you're trying to put too much story into this: it's like reading a novel in one minute!
I think if you stuck to one idea, (plotting to marry for gain) and went with that it may be more concise and easier to grasp.
Best of luck!
-Mike
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 570
Top 500 Poster
|
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 570 |
Brian, I have to agree with Mike, you're singing three songs at once. Maybe go with "the marriage plot" and keep all the verses developing her plan, The first and third lines in the chorus are nice and strong. Can you tweak the others?
Keep us up to date on this one please.
Pam
Never think can't do - think how to
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
|
Forums118
Topics128,672
Posts1,184,400
Members21,478
| |
Most Online148,207
May 25th, 2026
|
|
|
"If someone is truly a jerk, or truly is not deserving of any positive reply from you, polite indifference is the best response you can give. Do not insult. Do not slam. Do not follow the urge to be nasty. Simply be politely indifferent." –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|
