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I'm prepping this one for piano/vocal performance at open mics.

It's been through a lot of lyric rewrites and structure alignments... (it may be familiar to some of you) but I think it's "done" now.

http://youtu.be/H6o6jQi0X40

I have barely taken any real online time in a month or more --
still I would like feedback on this if any -- there is an open mic Monday night I hope it's ready for (but if not, it can wait till next time) -- I ***will*** return reviews for your comments. Life is good but family, etc, are taking nearly all my time (including for music) - I squeezed out some practice time today and managed to get a rehearsal take that's not too shabby.

I dunno if it's "current" or marketable, but it IS "performable" so....... there you have it. All constructive feedback welcome.

I am at that point where I've heard it so much I'm too close to it. No idea whether it works or not, except that I like it.

Oh, and I didn't get the video angle I wanted (urgh!! I had 2 webcams on, and the closer one failed to input audio) ... so... now you all get to find out what the rest of me actually looks like. Yep, there's a reason I've been walking an hour or more a day lately, with my eye on walking a half-marathon end of summer -- it doesn't show much yet tho --

Ha!

Thanks guys -- much appreciated --

Linda


When the Rain Falls
© 2011 Linda P. Adams

1. When the rain falls,
And I collapse in tears
When I can’t go on
You calm my fears

Chorus:
You’re the light in my darkness,
Breaking through the storm
You show me sun on the horizon
Dry my tears and keep me warm

2. When I stumble
On these stones that turn my feet
When I fall and fail,
You carry me

Chorus:
You’re the light in my darkness
Breaking through the storm
You show me sun on the horizon
Dry my tears and keep me warm

Bridge:
And I remember who I am
What I came to do
It’s not impossible
I didn’t come this far to lose!

You’re the light in my darkness
Breaking through the storm
You show me sun on the horizon
Dry my tears and keep me warm

Even when the rain falls
Your love shines
Oh, how you shine
Your love shines

Right off I'll say I'm not qualified to offer advice but I'll
offer what I can, the sound wasn't great and maybe distorted
your performance, it did distract a little, you started
tentatively which I can understand certainly in the final
third you were in your stride and i was hanging on every
word, one note on the lyric, if this was mine I'd try

You show me sun on the horizon
When the rain falls

I think you'd get away with the storm/falls forced rhyme,
hope that some of that was in some way helpful,

Tony.

Hey Linda,

Open mic, well that is super cool. Hard to say how it will go over -- all depends on the crowd, of course.

I think it is a fine little song for your hubby and it is great that you are getting "out there". I hope it all goes fantastic.

Kevin

Thanks much, Tony & Kevin, I appreciate your thoughts and taking the time to listen.

I was a little rattled here, as the tech/ setup/ soundchecking was painstaking and not running well (doing all this by myself) - I am not sure now to improve the sound in this location w/my available equipment... that was the best I could possibly pull in after literally, a couple hours of fiddling with trial and error back and forth up and down try, try again -- anyway so -- by this take, I was late to leave and past time to go home to pick up kids from school on time -- so yes, to "tentative start" - I'll accept that as truth!

However I can NOT blame "nerves" for whatever reason: to be a SOLID performer, nerves CAN'T MATTER. That all has to be brushed aside and quickly compartmentalized in order to deliver.

Excellent feedback, and I will seek to improve that in further practice. Because I WILL be nervous then, too.

Kevin, you are very kind! I appreciate your support in light of, it sounds like you (quite politely) find the song is not your own cup of tea. That's all right too. Good to know.

I do 'pound my head on the wall' just a little when the feedback is "Oh I'm sure your husband loved it" -- ROFL -- as that's my clue generally maybe something isn't quite working -- even so that is STILL GOOD FEEDBACK. So, yes, ***thank you*** and I really appreciate your listen and comments.

And yes - I'm glad to be "getting out" and following that MAB advice.

I'll find out Monday how it goes over, I guess -- I have sufficient practice hours between now and Mon 6 pm to work out the kinks left in my playing/singing / approach so I will likely go for it -- mainly, for WCS, I need a song I can perform fluently and just "jump in the game" there.

I chose this one for this month, as it was closest to "performance ready," I can use the piano there, and it's a song I personally "feel" inside.

Doesn't mean others will feel it too -- but that is something worth finding out.

The WCS monthly Songwriter Competition is a supportive and fun venue. I've been twice without performing, and made some new friends - the second time they started ribbing me gently about "you've had a month! get up there!!" -- So -- I just need something that defines who I am somewhat and what I sound like. (And I do write these "rope of hope" songs as MAB calls them, fairly often, LOL)

I'm not worried about the "competition" part of it - there ARE judges and two excellent prizes for Best Performance and Best Song, but I don't expect to take anything home ever. I'm there for networking and meeting people and a little bit of "this is what I do." There will definitely be others there far higher up the scale than me. And likely some who do the "oh... what song am I doing tonight?" or flub-up or do the "can I start over?" thing or whatever - but it's a positive, upbeat atmosphere. The people who come are genuinely kind, and supportive, whatever you do.

Also it's a *beautiful* venue.... it's a great sound stage with theater-type seating (just chairs, but, raised as in an amphitheater) and an 8' grand piano with a terrific PA system. Seats about 300; about 75-100 or so in attendance the two times I've been so far.

So............. please keep comments coming, it is all helpful in my book.



Linda

Howdy Linda,

How exciting, again, something I have no experience in, singing in front of people, but my shower wall and fireplace have given GREAT reviews...LOL!!

First, can you shorten the intro music? I would consider that if you have folks waiting on you to start.

Next...there are some phrasing things, starting with "You're the light...in my darkness", I think you need to mark your music for it, I know you know how to do it, so I'm not going to go through it, but think you should write it down to remind yourself.


You are losing the emphasis of important lines like "I didn't come this far to lose", either play softer, or slow it down, or enunciate, it is that emotional line that will keep attention and if you drown it out or hurry it, it won't be effective.

I'd consider some inflections at the very end, you cut out the piano which is very effective, but i don't think you milk the ending enough, or could do it more.

Great piano playing!! Good luck and this is just myopinion, you know I'm cheering for ya!!!

Tammy

Thank you Tammy! I always appreciate your constructive thoughtfulness.

Yes, I can shorten the intro easily.
Why it's there is musically setting the stage to engage that feeling of rainfall and thunder.

Very good phrasing suggestions too - mmm-hmm I can work on that too, thank you. All good.

Um --
just curious here, does anyone.... _like_ the song itself?
It's OK if not - just unclear so far.... thanks!


Linda

Ha, ha -- I liked the song just fine. I thought Blane (songramp) made an interesting observation about the sustain pedal maybe clouding/competing with the vocals a little -- very perceptive of him.

I see it as a personal tribute type tune, which means critiques aren't that warranted -- if you and your husband like it, then that is what is important. Your vocals and playing sound good here.

Now, how will it go over at the open mic? If everyone is doing uptempo rockers, then this will be a fantastic change of pace. If everyone is doing slow ballads -- then it will be just another one. Context is sometimes critically important.

In any case, you play and sing well enough so folks will enjoy the performance no matter what happens before or after.

Play on -- playing out is the reward in itself here.

Kevin

Hi Linda,

Good to see ya back and singing STRONG !
Yes I liked the song, ut the piana was a bit too loud.
Good luck, but most of all, get knee deep in it & enjoy the moment.
Thanks for sharing what you do.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Thank you, Kevin! Yes, Blane's observations were excellent.
Gotcha on the context.
It's a pretty acoustic night -- about half uptempo.
They have amps available etc-- I haven't checked if theres a rule, but sofar no one has plugged in an electric instrument (but I've only been twice).
So we'll see!!

You can use a track too... They are set for that, and one or two do it, but it seems the exception... and I do want to play that piano there, it's very nice. LOL

Thanks Calvin- I appreciate your thoughts too and the listen.
As I rehearse here on out I will tone down that piano!
Very good feedback.

And yes, I am stupid heavy on the sustain pedal. LOL time to fix that flaw

well............... here's the performance (first one)

EDIT: I've deleted this off YouTube. It was bad. LOL.

Hey, way to go -- whew, now that's out of the way.

It certainly seems that you practiced it enough, you did it just like the rehearsal!! (Maybe even better!!).

Big congrats from me.

Kevin

Thank you bunches, Kevin!!

Now -- on to what do hammer out for next month

Linda

Hey Linda, Love the music and the vocals are lovely, enunciation is the key factor here, close your words with harder S'es and N's and all the other last sounds of each word cleanly, it has such beautiful lyrics that need to be understood. A good sound check will correct some of this.....A touch more volume for your voice maybe, but the levels sounded good. Love the high notes...
let them bleed into each other, without anyone being aware. otherwise It's a great song. Tell them who you wrote it for and why...people like human interest, just a brief note of tribute.
~~~~~~~~~MFB III

Hiya MFB!!

Thank you - much appreciated to have your thoughts. Great performance tips too. I'd been trying on the N's but am careful on the S's due to many years of choral performance, haha!

I skipped the note of tribute this time through, because, just about every single time I've shared this one before -- and it is for my husband BTW -- SOME-ONE says "Oh I'm sure your hubby liked it," which, this time through was Kevin. LOL!!

However - to me -- when I hear that as feedback-- {{not dissing Kevin here either BTW, I'm grateful he listened and had great tips for me as well -- this opinion of mine, about that statement, already existed}} ...it feels like, the pat on the head you give when maybe you didn't really like it but they're you're friend, so you want to try to say something nice.
hee hee


So.

I left it out because I didn't want anyone to be able to say that to me afterward.

I wanted it to stand on its own. As-is. Or not.

It was open for "So what's the story behind that?" or "who did you write it for?" but, I didn't get that either - it was a group that pretty much didn't know each other and scattered right afterward, that night.

I met one new person. Most of the regulars I'd seen before were not there, and it was a small turnout.

Anyway!! There you have it.

Linda

Hiya MFB!!

Thank you - much appreciated to have your thoughts. Great performance tips too. I'd been trying on the N's but am careful on the S's due to many years of choral performance, haha!

I skipped the note of tribute this time through, because, just about every single time I've shared this one before -- and it is for my husband BTW -- SOME-ONE says "Oh I'm sure your hubby liked it," which, this time through was Kevin. LOL!!

However - to me -- when I hear that as feedback-- {{not dissing Kevin here either BTW, I'm grateful he listened and had great tips for me as well -- this opinion of mine, about that statement, already existed}} ...it feels like, the pat on the head you give when maybe you didn't really like it but they're you're friend, so you want to try to say something nice.
hee hee


So.

I left it out because I didn't want anyone to be able to say that to me afterward.

I wanted it to stand on its own. As-is. Or not.

It was open for "So what's the story behind that?" or "who did you write it for?" but, I didn't get that either - it was a group that pretty much didn't know each other and scattered right afterward, that night.

I met one new person. Most of the regulars I'd seen before were not there, and it was a small turnout.

Anyway!! There you have it.

Linda

Hi Linda,

Nice job on your performance. Performing before an audience can be a nervous endeavor, especially when performing original material but you handled it well. Good song by the way and I love your voice and playing.

Stevie

Thank you, Stevie!! Heartwarming to hear your kind words.
I will catch up reviews on this board here in a bit-- some good stuff here to go through it looks like!

L

What a pleasure to see you performing live, Linda. Good on you for taking such a step. And with such a pretty song as well. I really like when you go into the higher notes.

Donna

Hello Linda.

First time eh? Well that is always the hardest, as the first cut is the deepest.

I believe you did very well all things pointed out by you and all things considered.

Agree with one posters comments that the first two who must like it are you and your husband. If ya do then that is half the battle.

I remember my first "live" public performance, actually I don't want to.

Anywho again I will say that for your first it wasn't that bad.

As John Denver once said, and his is my quote on my page, "Is this a practise?" (Denver's reply.) "They are all practises."

Douglas

Hi Linda,

This is very cool, you got out there and you did it!! Good for you! I don’t sing so I can’t comment as to what you should or should not do, but I do like the song! Looking at the lyric I have one suggestion for you, kos of course!

2. When I stumble
On these stones that turn my feet (These stones that turn my feet doesn’t make sense to me, perhaps “beneath my feet”?)
When I fall and fail,
You carry me

Other than that it looks very good!! I enjoyed the performance, congrats on your first time!!

Dottie

Hey Linda....I watched the you tube live performance last night....didn't have time to reply....you did well....nice tune....the only thing that bothered me was the piano was a little loud over your vocal....your playing is great....other than that, you have made the leap from church singer...lol....I hope you never took offense to my comments....it takes guts to get up there and let it go....I haven't performed live in over 40 years....not sure I could be as brave as you....best of luck....Bob

Donna, Thank You very much for your kind words!


Douglas, thanks as well!
Glad to hear your story. --I have sung in church and in amateur/auditioned choirs many many times, but getting outside of that -- this is the first time I've performed my own material both played and sung together.

I've played piano before live once or twice, and gotten out a time or two to sing a cover song here & there in the past few months (one decent, one or two bleeeeehhhhhhhhh badly!!) ..... a few years ago I got out to an a capella open mic and sang there ...... and yeah, that's it. LOL

So - this counts as a "first" for putting it all together.

And I agree -- looking at it, my thoughts are, "well, not that bad..." --it definitely could have gone worse. LOL


Dottie, thank you also! That is good feedback, I appreciate hearing your understanding of that line.
My thinking was when you "turn" or twist your ankle - you get tripped up and your foot turns. ??
Anyway... will think about that.


Bob!!! You're awesome!
And no, I never ever ever took any offense to your comments.
It's great feedback to know how I'm sounding.
AND great to hear from YOU, the words, "you've made the leap." YES! thanks

Awwww get out there and do it!

All of ya!!



Linda

Also Bob thanks for catching that the piano is loud over the vocal - that helps me confirm in my own memory that yeah I did need the mic turned up.

Live & learn!

Linda

Linda God bless you on all counts...writing your own melody and lyric, taping everything (audio/visual) putting the words up on the screen, then finally (maybe the hardest part) performing on the live stage. You looked so pretty and I love the honest emotion you pour into your music. I love the title "When The Rain Falls" which can mean any disappointment/trial in our lives but it's said in such a poetic way. I like the "turn feet" phrase because it's a new way to say it and really does describe what happens when we do stumble on those stones.

The only thing (and again it's just me) was while the lyrics were simple yet stellar, I wanted the melody to be alittle more uplifting to support the lyrics in that way. Again, it is probably just my personal preference here and I'm not saying how you did it was wrong per se, it was just something I mention since you are looking for honest feedback. Congratulations on the whole package, I can imagine all the work involved. Your voice is lovely!! You go girl!!!

Best,
Lynn

Thank you Lynn!

I appreciate so much you building me up with your kind words!

I am listening to what you're saying there about the music, thank you for speaking up and expressing those thoughts. I am curious if what you mean by "uplifting" is, more major chords (as it starts out on minors) or 'positive' feel in the arrangement?

I didn't get points on the arrangement - it lack "hook" in the piano part or, may need more direction as I keep working it out, so I'll take all that into consideration!

Thanks again!

Linda

Linda. You can perform ok and the song is good.
The recording is not good however.
You need to get less distance between the mike and the sound as it's picking up too much reflection.
Does that make sense?
Your friend,
Vic

Hi Linda..



I'm not gonna read everyones' reviews, don't have time to right now, but by going on what i've heard and read of your lyrics, I like them...I love you playing on the piano and I enjoy listening and watching you sing and I salute you for having the courage to sing in front of others, don't thik I could do that..but you lady did it very well..the production needs a little work, but other than that, great song...

glyn

And it may make the crowd cry, but you're always welcome to sing The Angels Will Rock You Tonite...or any of my songs....love you..

glyn

Thank you, Glyn!
Actually Angels would be cool to do sometime... this particular open mike shown, I think "I" have to be the songwriter, but I am looking up others and have thought about that.
I'll let you know and if/when I do it, I'll tape it for you!

Thanks for watching/listening.

Vic, thank you also for watching & listening!

What you are saying is, I need to get the mic closer to me when I sing?
I have no training in this stuff so, please do help me out for next time. ?? thank you!

And yes, the recording is phhthththtt ... we may have done better using the Android phone webcam than the camcorder possibly...

Linda

little bump - an original song, there's new folks here who don't know any of my writing.

On further review of my performance live, it was REALLY AWFUL pitch-wise and I've killed the video off YouTube. ~sorry~ ugh.

But my friend Hope who was there was so very very nice to me afterwards when we saw each other! She is a completely experienced singer with gigs with her band every week - and I told her about my leg shaking uncontrollably and all and she was just terrific.

So I'm thinking that due to the piano being loud too much of the flat notes weren't as audible to the audience... but oh man - yes - on further review it was just terrible.

I've gone out to karaoke nights since this night.... but haven't done another open mic! My health went pthththhhhtttt..... and I've been embarrassed O_O but I'll get back in the ring!!!! lol!

Linda

AND no... it's not "Done," it's never Done.....

Going to re-title it "Your Love Shines" per MAB (Marc-Alan Barnette, Nashville) suggestion and work that line into the hook more.
One of these days I may have a better version to post up.

Right now, till my health recovers, it seems all I'm up for is karaoke singing.... LOL
Oh well
Onward...

Hey Linda,

I remember this one. Still sounding good to my ears.

Stevie

Yes, I remember this one too, great song

glyn

This being my first time hearing this song, aside from the quality of the recording (which I'm sure doesn't do this song justice) I really like it. I would certainly listen to it when played in open mic fashion.... Well done!

Peace,

Dave

Thanks all for the return listens, and for coming in for the 1st time, Dave
glad you're enjoying it all right!

I'm one who's never happy with anything I put out, just quite... lol