JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 My 50/90 lyrics

I'm changing this to host all of my 50/90 lyrics. Comments welcome on any song that strikes your fancy.

****** #1 Once in A Lifetime Love *******************

I just googled "Once in A Lifetime Love" and I found quite a few songs popping up with the same title. Oh well. I have music and it seems different enough, but I haven't listened to all the tunes yet. I'll be back home tomorrow and will start the recording then -- might take a few days. Enough time for some critiquing eyes to help me out!

Once in A Lifetime Love
(c) Kevin Emmrich 2009

(Verse)
hair brown
hanging tumblin' down
lips so sweet
knock me off my feet

(chorus)
it's a once in a lifetime love
i like everything she does
there's nothing i can compare
to this once in a lifetime love

(verse)
green grass
wine glass
fruits of summer
and this spell i'm under

(chorus)
it's a once in a lifetime love
i like everything she does
there's nothing i can compare
to this once in a lifetime love

(bridge)
we go way back
and it's always been like that
always can depend
on a lifelong friend

(verse)
hair grey
things words we still say
it's the little things
that she brings .... to this

(chorus)
.... once in a lifetime love
i like everything she does
there's nothing i can compare
to this once in a lifetime love

I like the simplicity of this, Kevin, and the way the song progresses through a lifetime with so few words.

One suggestion: In 'hair brown / hanging down', 'hanging down' sounds so drab and dull. How about something like 'tumbling down', which gives a kind of energy and edge, maybe implying that her hair tumbled down after you'd unpinned it and ... etc. etc.

Keep-or-sweep, of course.

Donna

Like it, Brother Kev!

I'd sug "MY lifetime friend" in da Bridge.

"Hair Gray" sorta comes outta nowhere...tho, yeah, guess your Bridge DID clue-in the more-aware among us. ;-)> That Last Verse doesn't exactly Scan as-Smooth as The Others...gulp!

All-in-all, I like it...tho..heh..the Urge to find SOME kinda Poetic "Comparison"..is strong. ;-)>

Good Luck with it...(Sounds like you've had some in The Love Dep't!)

Best Wishes, & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Donna: 'tumbling down' -- ooh, that's a nice! I'll use that one for sure. I noticed that you are "Batin" over at 50/90 -- good luck over there, you are off to a great start!


Stan: "Hair gray" I am hoping the the time in the chorus and then to the bridge will make that calendar leap not seem so large. We will see when I record it tomorrow night (I hope). It sounds like this spurred an idea or two for you. I would love to see your take on this idea (ideas are not copyrightable -- so have at it!)

Thanks to both of you for stopping by and leaving great comments.

Kevin

************* #2 Hey Rocking Chair ********************

Rob Leach wrote a nice "rocking chair" composition and I used the first half of that to create these lyrics. Just a story about how an empty rocking chair makes the guy think about a lost love.

MP3: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7793770


Hey Rockin' Chair
(c) Emmrich/Leach 2009

Hey rockin' chair
just waiting there
don't rightly care
who sits in you

hey rockin' chair
you're painted black
just like her hair
and I want my baby back

I need her
like a weed needs the dirt
I want her
'cause it's such a lonely hurt

Hey rockin chair
your finish shines so bright
but your emptiness
is such a painful
sight

Hi Kevin,
On the first song (You probably already recorded it) Maybe saying a little more in the 3rd C line and maybe an internal rhyme. Something like "We're ridig high , up on cloud nine--Just for ideas and then repeat the first line.
Overall I like it
Wy

Wyman,

No I still haven't recorded that one yet. You're right, that line doesn't really do much, does it? I'll take a peek and see if I can do something else.

In the meantime, here's another. Semi-uptempo, mostly acoustic instruments, I think.

Kevin

******************** #3 Oh, Wishin' Well *******************

Oh, Wishin' Well
(c) Emmrich 2009

I made a wish
in the wishin' well
nothing's happened
far as I can tell
wished my baby
would come back to me
I wasted a quarter
had no guarantee

(ch)Oh wishin' well
you're standing there
should come with a warning
let the buyer beware
Oh wishin' well
I hung my hopes
on one small quarter
I thought one favor
I could coax

should have thrown in a dollar
maybe that'd worked
she better come back
for I go berserk
I did a lot wrong
should have thrown in a fiver
or maybe I shouldn't have been
such a damn miser

(ch)Oh wishin' well
you're standing there
should come with a warning
let the buyer beware
Oh wishin' well
I hung my hopes
on one small quarter
I think it's just .........
a hoax

Here's another quick stream of consciousness write that will most likely change a lot as music get put to it.

************************* #4 Wayward Soul ****************************

Wayward Soul
(c) Emmrich 2009

(v1) wayward soul
the shape I'm in
there's a story
don't know
where to begin

(v2) It starts like all
with promise and hope
with shiny toys
a new
winter coat

(ch) wayward soul
you've lost control
your past's a collage
a fleeting mirage

(v3) wayward soul
the shape you're in
upside down
you're all confused
the world just spins

(v4) you had it all
the path was marked
the breadcrumbs
got eaten
you're in the dark

(ch) wayward soul
you've lost control
your past's a collage
a fleeting mirage

(br) How do get there
from here
when everything is gone
that you held so dear

(ch) wayward soul
you've lost control
your past's a collage
a fleeting mirage

Here's is one that is a little clumsy at the moment. Wouldn't mind a real lyric writer coming along and improving it. Basically trying to use natural and man made signals of trouble to build a song around. I am drawing a blank on some good "signs of trouble". Anyone?
Kevin

*********************** #5 Red Skies (Signs of Trouble) *******************

Red Skies (Signs of Trouble)
(c) Emmrich 2009

red skies at morning
I hear that's a warning
But I wonder what that means

crying in the dark
means a broken heart
sometime love's not what it seems

Signs of trouble
surround us with fear
we listen, but do not hear
Sometimes a couple
we make our own lives
but I'm looking at red skies

three piled up rocks
heart upside down
danger is brewing

three puffs of smoke
nobody spoke
but I know I'm losing

Signs of trouble
surround us with fear
we listen, but do not hear
Sometimes a couple
we make our own lives
but I'm looking at red skies

Just want to keep them in one place so I can keep track of them.

******************* #6 She Drinks ***************************

She Drinks
(c) Emmrich/Keith 2009

(v1)liquor laced coffee
greets the morning sun
booze and caffeine
eases last night's dream
she stumbles through life
no peace can she find
she stops and stares
as it clouds her mind

(chorus)
she drinks and she drinks
don't care how it looks
she once had it all
Does God know what he took?
she tries to forget
what she has lost
one more cigarette,
no counting the cost

(v2) the red and greens
have blended to gray
the high and low
have become a plateau
but flat has been slanted
she's sliding down
she wonders how long
before she hits the ground

(chorus again)

(bridge) she once had a man
a child or two
taken away
by the wheel of a drunk

(chorus again)

(tag)
One more drink
does God know what he took?

*************************************

These are all good Kevin. Keep them coming. Will look for the Mp3's.
Patti

Kevin,
Not a REAL lyricist, but got some thoughts.(Red Skies)

KOS!

Three hot springs
Boiling
Dangers brewing

Three load stones
Sparks ignite
I know I'm losing

Geneva

Patti: Thanks for the visit. I hope I can get my recording equipment back and get started. However, too many birthday parties this weekend -- we'll see.

Geneva: I found this and it has a nice chapter on danger signals: http://www.archive.org/stream/americanboysbook00bear5#page/34/mode/2up Most of them are man made. Would like some more "natural" signs. Thanks for the suggestions.

Kevin

Hi Kevin, I really like this. Should sell well at AA meetings! :-) Love the line about flat being slanted. One suggestion: Instead of a "child or two", make that specific and say, "a child of two" because someone would know if it was one child or two if you lost them.

Hey there Kevin,

I love that you're keeping track of your FAWM lyrics here, but I'm wondering if you're doing yourself (and your individual songs) a disservice buy combining them all as you go? Perhaps post them individually, and then when you're DONE with them, put them all on one post, stating that it's your completed list?

Just food for thought...

Anyhoo, I enjoyed all of them in different ways. I will say, except for the first one, they're mostly sad songs -- which I have NO problem with -- I just wonder if you might want to mix it up a bit more. Certainly subject-wise you've been very experimental....maybe you could open the dictionary arbitrarily, pick three different words from three different pages, and write a song! (That could be an interesting challenge in its own right!)

In the meantime, I have to say my favorite is about your Lady Lush, "She Drinks". Love the same things she does....but at least try to keep them separate and to imbibe in moderation. Still, a good warning song....

I will say, I pulled out the same line Betty did:

but flat has been slanted

Very clever, very visual.

So keep up the good work Kevin. I'm thinkin' next year I'm going to take a stab at this challenge -- you brave folks who've picked up the gauntlet this year are coming up with some COOL pieces....

Ciao for now,
Beth

Betty: Thanks for stopping by. On the "child or two" phase, I was going for the "she is in a total fog", "dream verse wakefulness" type thing. Of course, she "knows" how many kids she really had, but in her drunken fog, it's a blur. I know the line sticks out a little, though.

Beth: Thanks for the reading. Both you and Betty like the "flat has been slanted" line, but Stan didn't. I'm putting it back in. You are probably right about piling them all into one topic, but I'll never keep track of 30, 40 or 50 (if I make it that high) lyrics in such a short time period. Most of them would end with 0 replies and get lost in the stack. Plus I don't hang out too much in this forum and I really can't expect too many comments. For the ones I post with music, I'll enter them one by one in the MP3 forum (except where grouping makes sense, like my current rocking chair symphony in two movements!

Kevin

Beth (again): I see your point about having more variety. I'll work on that. I am not sure if this is a sad or happy tune, but the music is fairly melancholy. Rob Leach composes his music on the fly, so there can be lots of stops and turns. While he always has "verses", sometimes it's hard to find a chorus or bridge that you can add lyrics, too. Other times the music is right where I want it to be. This one might not make much sense without the music, sot I'll try recording something this week.

Kevin

********************* #7 Sit Down **************************
Sit Down
(c) Emmrich/leach 2009

I've made up my mind
you are so kind
and when I look at you
I know what I must do

sit down right here
wipe away that tear
I'll listen to what you say
cause I know you'll stay

It all comes down to this
it's something we miss
just an irresistible bond
we know it's not gone.

(Horns and guitar)

sit down right here
wipe away that tear
all fears are gone
it's another dawn

a new beginning
while the world is spinning
it'll be just fine
I'm yours, be mine
cause you know I love you .......
and that's true

*********************************************

That's very pretty, Kevin. I like the simplicity of concept and expression.

Donna

Hey Kevin,
I like Red Skies
Looks like it's working pretty good.
Some other signs, whether useable or not might be 3 sticks in a row, 3 shots or an arrow made of twigs pointing at right angles off the trail or a skull and crossbones frawn in the dirt
Wy