JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Creative Challenge Forum Cover Challenge #3 - Post the Finished Songs Here

And let the listening begin.

EDIT: I've taken all suggestions into consideration with this new mix. The bass has more "definition", I added hi-mids there to make it fuller, less "smeary".

I evened out the vocals.

I made the lead vocal "down the shute", instead of "fake double tracked"

I compressed the drums and the organ, so they both have more presence throughout...

The overall mix feels a lot livelier to me, hope you think so too

Soundclick page:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=908328&songID=7521387

Hi quality download and stream:

Download (Right click, save as):

http://www.garageband.com/mp3/closemike-Bottle_of_Jezebel__V3_.mp3?|pe1|S8LTM0LdsaSgZVezamA

Stream (left click):

http://www.garageband.com/mp3player?|pe1|S8LTM0LdsaSgZVezamA

Bottle of Jezebel

It was just another night at the club
Some company was all I's looking for
Not interested in thoughts of love
Just a warm body to take out that door

But when she danced over seductively
I should have listened to those danger bells
With a flip of her hair, she entranced me
That sweet succubus scent of Chanel

She gestured to the bartender, a bottle slid my way
Then whispered in my ear, 'I know how to make your day'

Oh, the name on the label shoulda given me a clue
But she'd lowered my defenses, and pretty soon
She was promising me a lifetime, and I didn't mind
Oh why didn't I listen to those danger bells
She was setting me on a path to hell
When I downed that bottle of Jezebel
As I downed that bottle of Jezebel

Oh how could such a splendid night
Be followed by such a torturous dawn?
Woke up and found she had taken flight
Looked like a whirlwind had hit my home

Every drawer torn open, an empty wallet
And a slowly fading sense of bliss.
An edge of white sticking out my coat pocket
A note, sealed with her coquette kiss.

I dunno what made her different from the other girls
But she flipped the table round, for one night she rocked my world

Oh, the name on the label shoulda given me a clue
But she'd lowered my defenses, and pretty soon
She was promising me a lifetime, and I didn't mind
Oh why didn't I listen to those danger bells
She was setting me on a path to hell
When I downed that bottle of Jezebel
As I downed that bottle of Jezebel

All so pathetic, I don't even know her name
But I still wonder, if I ever saw her face again
Would she show me some mercy set me free from this hell?
Or just uncork another bottle of Jezebel?

Oh, the name on the label shoulda given me a clue
But she'd lowered my defenses, and pretty soon
She was promising me a lifetime, and I didn't mind
Oh why didn't I listen to those danger bells
She was setting me on a path to hell
When I downed that bottle of Jezebel
As I downed that bottle of Jezebel

(C)2009 Lee Wilson and Michael Zaneski

Out of my comfort zone but good fun lyrics by Frank n Furter, here goes:

Road Hog Gypsies
Quin\Furter

Said goodbye to Calhoun County running for the Northeast coast
Chis'ling like a Texas twister through the long and winding road
Ridin' high and feelin' mighty in my bright-red, long nose Pete
Pushin' eighty in a sixty with nine tons of Angus beef

Got my scanner set for Smokies, chugging coffee black and hot
There's no state I ain't left rubber or a Philip-Morris butt
All across this two way ribbon with an ever changing load
I know ev'ry dime store diner on the pike or dusty roads

They call us road hog Gypsies
Through night and day we roll
Dirty road hog Gypsies
Takin' big rigs for a stroll
Cuss-ed road hog Gypsies
Best to stay out of our way
Busted road hog Gypsies
We s'posed to been there yesterday

Have an itch to keep on moving, never seem to get enough
There's no beer I ain't poured down and no hill I ain't been up
When the price of gas skyrockets and the bills become too much
Pitch your bitch at King Abdullah, don't be lookin' down at us

It's all clear through Sooey country so I put the hammer down
And I think about the people sleeping in these little towns
As I listen to some Johnny, there's one lady on my mind
Said she wouldn't try to tame me cause I'd never walk the line

Hi Nigel,

This is a hoot!

Nice mix of rock bass/drums, and then banjo!

Your vocal has lots of attitude and is a real treat.

Quite enjoyable, and thank god no "Convoy" easy listening female background vocals

best wishes,

Mike

Hi Michael

Thanks - I listened to yours too (I wasn't sure whether we could comment here )and it moves along a really nicely. Good arrangement. Very enjoyable.

Cheers

Nige

Hi All

Here's the link to Kristi McKeever's - Now IS Forever with my music added.. Enjoy !
love this challenge ! Thanks

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7510591

Hi Nigel,

Cool is not a usual word I use, but that is the only word I can think of that fits this. I think you intertpreted it in such a unique way, I love your use of banjo too, and the melody and the harmony. I think you did a wonderful job of covering it and hope Frank n Furter likes it as much as I do.

Letha

Hi Michael and Stag,

I already commented on this one in another thread, and I remembered it immediately because I liked Mikes vocals so much.

A good job to both of you,

Letha

Joic and Kristi,

This sounds wonderful! Joice, your production is getting so good, you have found the right combinations in your recording to compliment your playing and your great vocals. Seems like it could have a little of a Grace Slick feel in there.

Letha


PS Mark, if we aren't supposed to comment in here, let me know and I will delete, but it is such a pleasure to hear all of the creations we get carried away with talking, lol.

Hi Joice/Kristi,

This is way cool, loved it all.
Joice you sure are sounding good !

And Kristi, this is some very nice writing, how bout some lessons/tips ?

Thank you both for sharing.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Love, love, love that Latin groove, JM!
I wouldn't have expected it.

Excellent lyric, Kristi. Great job all round.

Donna

Terrific lyric, Stag. Mike, what a great job you've done with this. So many textures in the vocals and music. Most interesting.

Donna

I have created a radio station on Soundclick for the collab #3 songs so you can hear them all in one place.

JPF Collab Challenge #3 - Radio Station

I will try and keep on top of the songs as they come in (Soundclick only though) and add them to the station. Mark you may want to put this link at the head of the thread.

Hi Mike & Stag,

Really fine production that sets off the wild lyrics very nicely. Cool effects on the vocals.

Hi Nigel & F&F

Cool groove right from the start really did justice to the fun and entertaining lyric. Nice Southern/Brit accent!

Hi JM & Kristi,

What a pleasantly surprising musical treatment for these sweet, sensuous lyrics. Great overall sound.

Ricki

Sorry folks at the moment I am not able to listen to anything or do much musically. My music PC (not connected online) has given up the ghost and the sound is not working on my backup laptop.
Cannot do much till I get another PC and laptop. I have to wait until the insurance pay up. I will go into the studio to record my version of Going Coastal but it might be a week or two.

Been a bad stirng of luck for you Jim... No worries on my end... I'll wait for it with a smile...

Found some listening time!

Bottle of Jezebel - WOW! What a great, complex production. Such a great and tasteful use of effects, multiple voices, instruments, chords. Yikes! Nice collab! I really liked this lyric and couldn't figure out how to fit it all. Michael knows. Sweet!

Rod Hog Gypsies - Love the vibe--not the usual trucker feel, but VERY appropriate to me...especially the cough. I've done a bit of this in my life and would have appreciated a cool song like this to carry my past another county line. Nice blend of instruments...the banjo is a nice touch, and that gorgeous electric rhythm guitar is the best.

Now Is Forever - Ooo, kind of a Bjork beat here...love the double tracked vocal! Very catchy tune, too, with sort of a Debbie Harry attitude...even a touch of Patti Smith. I think some bass would really enhance this one, sonically. Very cool song. Must play again.

Wait, is that it? More! More! Mine will probably be another week or so...projects in line, and lots going on at work and home. Can't wait to do it though. Nice work everyone!

Nige, you picked a great lyric to work with (nice one, Furter )and created a trucker song that's catchy and unusual. I like in particular the chorus melody and harmony. (The cough - unintended, no doubt - made me smile, and it somehow fit in with the whole song image. ) A nice blend of instruments and I enjoyed the overall groove: to me it's simple and singable.

Good job!

Donna

Folks,
these 3 so far sound terrific. Jezebel is Dire Straits way cool. Forever is right in the mood. Hey Gypsie - this thermos bottle's got your back door. Blink blink flash flash and all that other trucker trash.

really good stuff

John

Mike and Stag, Nigel and Frank, Joice and Krisit:

Nice job, all of you. These have been some great pairings of lyrics and tunes. I've really enjoyed listening to all the songs, so far.

Which brings up something...

23 lyrics entered.
8 lyrics marked as TAKEN.
3 songs completed.

Did this "challenge" not generate as much interest as the first two?

Depends on how you look at it. The "Champion" Challenge produced 12 versions of "Champion". The Lyric Challenge has 8 so far. When I see 23 lyrics up for grabs, that looks like a lot of interest to me. But when it comes to those who go ahead and do the work of translating the lyric into a song and then a good recording of the song, we enter into territory that probably has more to do with time and circumstance rather than interest. I think a lot of people who write and record music may well be more focused on cranking out their own product for sale...or perhaps having already done one last month, this month it's harder to commit the time? Who knows. But it definitely drew in more people who were not involved in the previous challenge.

Meanwhile, Jean and Beth keep cranking out wonderful challenges of their own, as they have been for a loooong time now.

Definitely more lyricists than musicians around these parts, and in my experience, lyrics usually can be finished faster than composing, arranging and recording multitrack versions of songs.

I'm just happy to see so many collabs.

Ha Greg

It takes a LOt more time to make music, practice the delivery, and get Good recordings..... than write a Lyric --- I don't want to suggest that One weighs More than the other in the Final work --- IT's Just a REality...... I have Lots More Lyrics - than Matched Sets -- and I am Not the only one....

Hi Greg,

and I, saw some lyrics here that looked interesting to me, but with my basic recording abilities I decided not to attempt it rather than have them sound bad, can you understand my way of thinking.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Well I just want to say that I am thoroughly enjoying the little station Nigel set Up -- Thanks for that - can't wait 'til there are More on there and I know there will be... there doesn't have to be a deadline....

Thanks for ALL the nice feedback on Kristi and My collab -- I'm really enjoying the song - Mark I'm sure you are right about adding a bass.... not a strong area for me, but maybe I can do one.. it also could use a real harmony at some point - but for Now -it's what we got !

I think all three challenges have provoked a lot of interest.

It is no secret that there are more lyricists only people on these boards than music composers so it is hardly surprising that there is less take up on lyrics requiring music. As Mark said it takes a lot of time to compose and record music whereas lyrics can be written by some folks in just a few minutes.
Perhaps if we do the opposite and supplied music for lyricists to write to there will be a 100% take up with people possibly doubling up on tunes already taken.

You're all absolutely right, of course, especially considering the lyricist to composer ratio. Then factor in how much time it takes to actually develop a melody, arrange it, record it, etc. It does take time, and I hadn't considered that.

With 23 lyrics offered, there obviously was interest in this project...no question there. I apologize for suggesting otherwise. It just seemed to me that interest had waned a little since there hadn't been much discussion on the original thread after the first few days. But with 8 lyrics tagged as taken, that's nearly 1/3 of the total, so maybe I spoke too soon. Pleeeease forgive my insolence.

I think I envisioned something like a "white sale" where ladies (and gents, too, of course) would elbow and shove each other out of the way in a feeding frenzy.

I, too, am glad to see the collaborations that have emerged so far, and look forward to hearing more.

Greg

Oh, I like that one... We'll have to do that one someday.

Hi Donna,

Thank you!

Your kind words always put a smile on my face that lasts a long time

Mike

It would have to be:

music > lyricist adds lyric > "somebody" does vocal (maybe the original composer) > original composer mixes final mix...

seems a little complicated, but it could work...

Mike

I think that the lyricists who participate by adding words to music should produce their own version. Even if it is only a Karaoke style added vocal. It might give them some idea how time consuming, difficult and expensive it is to produce a decent recording.

I think many are not set up to record??

That is so true. However with a PC or laptop, free Audacity and a cheap mic anyone can add a vocal to a Karaoke type track. Hopefully this type of challenge will broaden horizons and take people out of their comfort zones. It is all a learning curve. So no excuses. It might spark the "non musicals" into becoming musical.

I'd love to have a challenge where lyrics are to be provided for music. It needn't be all that complicated. Many composers sing their own songs and do the final mixes anyway. Composers also often have a melody in mind, or would be willing to create one for the lyric.

For those lyricists with no recording facilities but who would have a melody in mind for the lyric, Audacity software is free to download and backing tracks can be brought into it. Thus, lyricists would be able to sing to the music they'd selected. They'd then create an MP3 file in Audacity to email to the composer, who in turn could apply the vocals/melody to the music or provide the vocals him/herself.

No problem with lyricists jumping on the same music if the composer were to mark the work "taken", as has been done in the current challenge.

What I'd like to see for the current challenge is more notification around the boards. Perhaps setting a deadline for completion would spark a little more action. All the lyrics that haven't been picked up are excellent ones and it's a shame they've not yet found a good home.

Just my tuppence worth.

(By the way, I wish I were one of those people who can write a lyric in just a few minutes. For many of us, the writing of a decent lyric can range from hours to days to weeks. Even then, the tweaking is ongoing... )

Donna

I've been wanting to try writing lyrics to existing music for a long time... I'd love to see this challenge come to reality...

Greg

Hi All,

Here is Joice Marie & my joint effort. A big thanks to JM for her wonderful lyrics and mixing abilities. This was such a joy. Enjoy!

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7522438

Half Hearted
©Joice Marie & Ricki

Ferris wheel is spinning
You’re staring at the ground
Lost in what you're thinking
A barker’s voice brings you round

You glance at ....
Half hearted me
I see ......
Half hearted you
Half hearted,.... seems
The best we can do

Colored lights tint the nightscape
Whistle pops and carnival sounds
Muffle my heart breaking
Seems smiles are just for clowns

You glance at....
Half hearted me
I see ....
Half hearted you
Half hearted seems
The best we can do

How to say love's lost its luster
Time changes everything
With all the compassion we can muster
Let's slip off our golden rings

You glance at...
Half hearted me
I see...
Half hearted you
Half hearted seems
The best we can do

Even circus clowns know
Half hearted is
The best we can do

Hi girls.

~ W O W ~

Everything about this is beautiful....even the tear running down my cheek.

Joice, the lyrics are real special
Ricki, your sing is so rich and warm and real.
Susan Boyle is great, but wait till the world hears you.

~ W O W ~

I know you both gotta be happy with this piece.
Sit back and listen one more time and soak up the beauty of it.

Thank you both for sharing.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Half Hearted

Hi JM & Ricki, you have a lovely song here. A fine interpretation Joyce's lyric by Ricki

I have added it to the JPF Collab Challenge #3 - Radio Station which now contains:

Bottle of Jezebel - Michael Zaneski\Stag
Road Hog Gypsies - Nigel Quin\Frank n Furter
Now Is Forever - Now Is Forever
Half Hearted - Ricki E. Bellos\Joice Marie
Fire Breathin' Female - Scott Campbell\Wyman Lloyd

HI Nigel and Calvin

THanks So Much

I'm So THriLLED with What Ricki has Done with this Song

CLEARLY this song challenge Is a Big success In my mind.... I think all 4 of these songs are quite inspired and Stunningly Even

jm

Joice,
I remember this lyric from way back. Girls the song came out beautifully.

have fun,
john

Here's a contribution from Wyman and me - my music to his lyric of "Fire Breathin' Female". I put it up in the mp3 forum as well, if anyone wants to make suggestions.....

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=377550&songID=7522354

Wy's lyric is posted below. This was a lot of fun!

Scott



Fire Breathin' Female c Wyman Griffith

She's got it and she flaunts it
She knows everybody wants it
She don't need to turn it up
It's as high as it can go
She's got a head of steam
'Bout ready to explode

C
She's a fi...re breathin' female
You can fee...l the heat across the room
She comes in wearin' next to nothin'
And nothin's too good to be true
For what you're thinkin'
You could go to jail
She's a fi...re
Breathin' female

Hot hugs and hotter kisses
All on the mark no misses
If you're target for tonight
You're just as good as gone
She's a mistress of the art
She knows how to turn you on

C
She's a fi...re breathin' female
You can fee...l the heat across the room
She comes in wearin' next to nothin'
And nothin's too good to be true
For what you're thinkin'
You could go to jail
She's a fi...re
Breathin' female

B
Her kisses are nutritious
They make you feel ambitious
Blood pressure through the roof
Ten feet tall and bullet proof

No intention of stayin.
Cuts a swath across the nation
Tracked by a trail of broken hearts
Town by town and state by state
You wake up in the morning
But by then it's too late

She's a fi...re breathin' female
You can fee...l the heat across the room
She co...mes in wearin' next to nothin'
And nothin's too good to be true
For what you're thinkin'
You could go to jail
She's a fi...re
Breathin' female

Thanks Calvin, John H, Mark K, Greg B, and Ricki B...

For all your generous comments and kind words

Mike

Hey MIke

I've been listening to version 2 - because I had it downloaded

but I just downloaded 3 and Man --- you really took it up another notch --- I Love how Clean the words are coming through -- really nice work ! -- I wish that I had a Bottle of you kind of patience !!!! jm

Hey thanks Letha, Calvin, Donna, Ricki, Mark, John & Greg…just seeing your very nice comments now!

And Nigel….what a great idea to put these songs on the radio station on Soundclick…I was gonna ask if there was some way to hear these on a continuous loop and just let them play! Looking forward to the others!

Kristi

Here is my version of Beth's beautiful lyric, "A Million Tears Ago."

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7533309

A Million Tears Ago
by Beth Williams/Wendy DuMond

The future ended yesterday
Saw the clues, but looked away
Fingers tremble on my cup of Joe
Memories might sneak up on me
Trip me up, and back I'll be
In that dream, a million tears ago

(Chorus)
And it's such a crying shame
I'm drowning in pain
Just barely afloat
Since you blew out the flame
No spark to relight it
No flicker of hope
Left from a Million Tears Ago

It's noon but dark above my head
Can't I please go back to bed
Wish I could just sleep this off, but no
Don't see me escaping this
Can I fix things with a kiss
Like I did a million tears ago

(Bridge)
When making love was sweet and slow
And promise fanned the afterglow

But then the end came all too soon
Left me hanging like a spent balloon
No parachute to break my fall below
But that's the price, out on a limb
I'd go again, to be with him
Forever, like a million tears ago

(Chorus)
And it's such a crying shame
I'm drowning in pain
Just barely afloat
Since you blew out the flame
No spark to relight it
No flicker of hope
Left from a Million Tears Ago

The future ended yesterday
Saw the clues, but looked away
Fingers tremble on my cup of Joe
Memories might sneak up on me
Trip me up, and back I'll be
In that dream, a million tears ago

Hi again Wendy,

Just wanted to bump this up, since people seem to gravitate towards different forums (fori?) and threads -- and I want to make sure everyone has an opportunity to hear this magnificent performance.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm still teary-eyed from listening to it over on MP3....

I sure look forward to doing this again....

Sniffly but smiling,
Beth

But…but….Beth! It was already on top, you can’t bump it any higher, but it would be a good trick if you could do it!

Here’s the latest list of completed songs for this challenge:


Bottle of Jezebel - Michael Zaneski\Stag
Road Hog Gypsies - Nigel Quin\Frank n Furter
Now Is Forever - Now Is Forever
Half Hearted - Ricki E. Bellos\Joice Marie
Fire Breathin' Female - Scott Campbell\Wyman Lloyd
A Million Tears Ago - Wendy D/Beth G. Williams

And you can here them all here in one place at JPF Collab Challenge #3 - Radio Station

Wendy,

With each new project I hear more confidence in your voice. Your voice is so beautiful on this. The vibrato sounds so subtle and unforced, lovin' every moment of your voice, WOW!!!

Your melody and chords with Beth's words wouldn't sound out of place coming out of Hank Williams' mouth. You "went with" the lyric and let it speak to you, and came up with a very moving composition

Beth,

This does remind me of old country cuz of how directly the singer conveys emotion. There's so much love in every line, "Left me hanging like a spent balloon" is a fantastic image. This is great lyric writing, to come up with fresh images that plant cinematic pictures in the heads of listeners. Congratulations on this, this goes to the top of my playlist, and I foresee it staying there awhile

Mike

Hi Wendy/Beth,

This is so well done, very pretty/sad/cool...love the tenderness.

Take a bow.

Calvin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hi Wendy & Beth,

Very nicely done. Looks like Beth has cornered the market of sad love songs and Wendy gave it her best sad love song voice.
You had to know I would love it!

Ricki

Hi Beth, Hi Wendy,

Just listened to A Million Tears Ago...

So georgous, teared up. Love the lyrics, the melody, arrangement and especially Wendy's vocal. I almost couldnt finish listening because of it's haunting quality, but I did. And I am sure I will listen again later and probably a few more times too, lol.

Letha