JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 "DOIN' THE TURKEY TROTS"

{I'll give Bro Derek Credit with Inspirin' This'n, but his "Rules" say ya can't mention "Thanksgiving" and this baby flat-out REquires mention of The Day, alas. I'll add it's NOT based on any actual Event I can remember ON Thanksgiving..tho I DID have an Aunt Mabel (Married to my Uncle Ike..Sherrick) & she was One HECK of a GOOD Cook & we DID head to their Farm for Many a Thanksgiving Family Reunion, 4 & 5 Decades Ago. This is all FICTIONAL Folks!}

Aunt Mabel had us Out To The Farm
To Have a Big Thanksgiving Feast
But Somehow that Bird got Left on the Counter
Too LONG & We Got a Disease...

Now we're Home & It's The Day-After
& Me & The Wife & Kids
Are High-Tailin' It to the Commode
& Keepin' Tempo with the Toilet Lid...& We're

(CHORUS)
DOIN' THE TURKEY TROTS
Had a Happy Thanksgivin'..NOT!
Stomachs CHURNIN', Insides BURNIN'
(HARD t'Stay in One SPOT..)
We're All DOIN' THE TURKEY TROTS!

It's Hard-to-BELIEVE a One Celled CRITTER
Can Bring DOWN a Human BEIN'!
But that Pesky Fella, SALMONELA
Can Come Callin' without You Seein'!

Next Thing Ya Know, from Head-to-Toe
This AIN'T a Festive Occasion
& Your Head's REELIN' from That GUT-FEELIN'
Of TOTAL Consternation!..& We're..

(CHORUS)
DOIN' THE TURKEY TROTS
Had a Happy Thanksgiving..NOT!
Stomachs CHURNIN' & Insides BURNIN'
& AIMIN' for That CHAMBER POT..
We're DOIN' THE TURKEY TROTS!

(BRIDGE)
My Wife wants to Call Ol' Mabel UP & Give Her a Piece of Her Mind
But I Consoled, "Keep it Under-Control", "It's BEST to leave this ALL BEHIND..."

{Let's Try t'be KIND...While We're..)

(CHORUS)
DOIN' THE TURKEY TROTS
Had a HAPPY THANKSGIVING..NOT!
Stomachs CHURNIN' & Insides BURNIN'
Thanksgiving It One More SHOT..
We're All DOING..THE..TURKEY TROTS!!!

(C) 2007 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

Hey Stanamigo

Very funny little tune. I'd might bend the rules a little to have this one on the challenge but either way I think it's a keeper. I have never had a case of Salmonella that I know of but have had other forms of food poisoning and I can tell ya not fun! You captured that quite well with this little GEM!
Big ole Guy Hugs and hope ya had a happy turkey day!
Derek

G'Mornin' Kind Amigo!

Hey, this'n's all Your Fault..heh-heh! Those Fun "Contests" kinda force a fella to come up with SOMETHING outta the blue..& I LOVE writing on-assignment!

I'd had this Hook in-mind for quite a while...but Your Contest kinda brought it outta me..(Heh!) Guess I need therapy...Haven't written a P.C. Lyric in over a week..or two!

I've had food poisoning a While Back...got a BAD BK Burger..& Lordy, it's UGLY what those microbes can do to ya. Usually, tho, It's all History a Day Later & ya've Got Religion again!

Many Thanks for The Inspiration & Kind Visit & Words, Amigo!
Happy Day-After & I'm glad ya Had a Happy One!
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Hi BBStan,

That Derek sure stirs up a lotta sh....FUN 'round here.

Positively unpuritanical and hilarious.

Just one little knit

Can Come Callin' WHEN YOU CAN'T SEE 'EM!

And here's an especially pearly perl:

BRIDGE)
My Wife wants to Call Ol' Mabel UP & Give Her a Piece of Her Mind
But I Consoled, "Keep it Under-Control", "It's BEST to leave this ALL BEHIND..."

Happy Day After Thanksgiving. And I'm so glad this one's fictional. I musta gone through about ten pairs of disposable gloves wrastlin with the turkey yesterday. But, I got LOTS of compliments from my MIL (a famous family pleasing cook). Seems she's now a fan of 'brining'. My concern was preventing any untoward effects from bacterial overgrowth during preparation. Salt seemed to be the sensible way to go. Course I added all the Rosemary, Thyme, lemon, bay leaves, Oregano and garlic in hopes it would meet her approval. Kinda like preparing for one of those visits from a famous food critic. Whew, I can now relax after producing plenty stress hormones. Thankfully, I found some Milk Thistle to help me process those with a smile all day. The Valerian helped to be sure. I've recently learned that it is very much like Valium only it has absolutely no negative side effects or addictive qualities in it. Smells like dirty socks but I suppose that's to discourage folks from taking it like candy!

Thanks for sharing this funny with us. Blessed me with many more endorphins and you know I need those with my MIL in the next room (youngest is singing a made up melody right now (loudly)---His lyric? "I saved the day, I saved the day, I saved the day....." Bet ya can't guess what the second verse is.

Lotsa laugther
sent your way
For the day after,

Big lsh,
Vanessa

Happy Festive "Day After" Li'l Sissy, & Real Glad t'hear you survivied it in High Style! (That Bird sounds DEE-Licious!)

Our Restaurant-Bought bird was O.K...skin was kinda Fatty/Accidentally got a Big Glob of it in in a Mouthfulla Stuffin'..yecch! And..I'm STILL gettin' kidded for accidentally orderin' "Gaspacho" Soup (Thinkin' it came with GarbanZO beans in it) & Voila...COLD Soup that got a buncha Veggies chopped up, added in..then all I could taste was the CUCUMBERS that got added..which I'm NOT real fond of, unless Pickled.) Son Max DID get the Hot Garbanzo "Spanish Bean" Soup I Shoulda Ordered/Wouldn't share a Drop of it either.

Then La Femme gave me a Hard Time gettin' Refills outta the Sangria Pitcher. Wotta Meal!

It's both Lucky (& a bit Sad) that ya had all those Rubber Gloves handy to prep that Bird! All those Early Thanksgivings they didn't have those gloves..& most evabody lived just FINE through it all! But NOW evabody's all paranoid..(& sounds like you needed a few Meds just to get thru The Experience, poor Sis!)

Waal, between Prozac and Lotsa Sangria (Since La Femme's A Sipper/I'm a Guzzler) I had me a Happy One, too! & NO Turkey Leftovers in Sight! YAAYYY!!

I'll ponder your Kind Sug, & Definitely Thank Ya for the Kind Visit & Words, Kind Sis! Hope ya got the rest of the week off, too...(I gotta head back to da shop & catch up Fri & Sat a bit!)

No Idea what that "Second Verse Is"..so NOW ya gotta let us all In On It, eh? ;-)>

Big LS Hugs,
BB Stan

Stan

Happy Thanksgiving Stan. We dont celebrate here but I can dip over there and feel the spirit of Thanksgiving.

REgarding your muse maybe aunt mabel cook the turkey haphazardly and the salmonella survive and replicate on the meat that poor voracious turkey eater became a victim of food poisoning. Thanksgiving is supposed to be a happy vacation in the farm that turn into a tag game or rotation to CR visits.


Or probably she add something an egg or vegetables contaminated with salmonella. Anyways here I am immunne on that kind of salmonella found in poultry products. But the virulent strains of salmonella is the salmonella typhi where the most common cause of thypoid fever here in the phillippines that sometimes mistaken as a viral illness of dengue fever.

Nice one I thought a turkey trot is a dance steps, but if someone find this baby interesting for a disco tune a dance steps simillar to chamber pots tour is needed. here is the steps

1. Hands on the tummy
2. Do some coiling
3. do some turning
4. Right hand will knock in the imaginary door
5. left hand will open the imaginary door knob
6. sit in an imaginable pot stil the hands on the tummy
7. move your hips clockwise then counterclockwise 3 times
8. Stand up you felt relieve
9. Tag your dance partner

repeat the steps all over again. This is a nice dance steps that might surpass the macarena.

Lynman

WHEEE, Doc!

THINK there already IS a Dance titled The Turkey Trot! "Trots" is a Nickname for "Diahrrea"..(which I Never COULD Spell Right!)

Your "Steps" does sound like Fun, However...& there never WAS anything Serious-Intended (Other than the Health Warning) in this Lyric..so maybe a New Dance Craze'd help it along a bit..if it ever DID get Recorded..heh! (Does need a "FLUSH" Gesture to Complete The Action, of course.. ;-)>)
Didn't know a Strain of Salmonella was behind Typhoid Fever...Yikes! (I Just found out it's a Staph Variety that causes Tooth Decay..& Alcohol-Based Mouthwashes DON'T kill that strain!)
{So ya can have Minty-Fresh BREATH..& STILL get Bad Teeth!}

Waal...off to a Day of Clockrepairing & Yet Another Amberbock (or 2!) Had enough Sangria yesterday to not NEED a single beer, but today it's Business As Usual..heh!

Thanks for Your Kind Visit & Free Medical Advice, Amigo! I'm feelin' Better Already!

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Halarious! It's good to see someone having lot's of fun writing. It's a lession that I could definately learn at times. Your line; It's hard to believe a one celled critter can bring down a human bein' is more apocolyptic than you may think with this bird flu disease that always seems to be in the news

HiDee Kid, & Thanks for The Kind Visit, Amigo!

I did a Fun Song on Armageddon Scenarios you'll prolly enjoy..it's on my kinda-Christmassy-CD, "Granny Wants a Harley For Christmas" at CDBaby.com/TampaStan..: "Which Hill Do We Meet On (& Who'll Bring The Beer?)"

That Bird Flu Critter's got nothin' on Antibiotic-Resistant Staph..found in Most Hospitals today..& now in many a School Gym Class Locker Room here-&-there.

It's always SOMETHIN'...(& I imagine we'll all end up Boppin' Fists like Howie Mandel someday, & wearin' Rubber Gloves for many a Family Get-Together!)

Like Carly Simon once sang, "These are the Good-Ol' Days!"

Thanks for Your Kind Visit & Words, Kid!

Good Luck with that 4WD Song!
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan