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GOTCHA! This really is in the song, so I don't feel guilty. This is part of the collection I am trying to build for a humorous Christian album. The Psalms, unless they are paraphrased are really difficult to sing. The very last line is taken from real life but I asked her in person instead of a letter.

Is this funny enough to sing in front of an audience?

Sister Mary Catherine


The Psalm
Unpublished Work ©2000 J.M. Richardson (Bullock)

1. I like the Entrance hymn because it sets my toe a’ tapping.
The Offertory’s fine because it keeps us all from napping.
The Gloria’s not bad if the hymn is not too long,
but when it comes to the Psalm – it just sounds wrong!

Refrain:
The Psalm, the Psalm is something to eschew.
The Psalm’s a song I wish they wouldn’t do.
The Psalm, the Psalm – if we really need it,
Oh, why can’t we just open up the Holy Book and read it?

2. The Alleluia, Great Amen and Holy are just fine.
The Memorial and Lamb of God are favorites of mine.
To sing them in the liturgy makes worship all the stronger,
But please don’t sing the Psalm, oh please, don’t sing it any longer.

3. Keep singing the Communion Hymn – it shouldn’t be left out.
Keep singing the Recessional with a joyful shout!
Keep singing all the other hymns – they really are just fine,
But__ the psalm should just be read – it’s there I draw the line!

4. David, King of Israel, thought he was quite the poet!
If people didn’t like the psalms, you know they wouldn’t show it.
How could they say, “ Your music stinks!” if that was their opinion,
for they could all be banished by the king from his dominion.

5. To a friend of mine, who’s Jewish, I sent a little note
And asked for an opinion of the songs King David wrote.
“In Hebrew, do the songs improve?” I queried in a letter.
My friend replied with great regret, “They don’t sound any better!”

Howdy JeanB,

This one is GREAT fun. As I have said before, I think God must have a great sense of humor. Dunno about David though. I am sure this would go over well with congregations that have all these in their services. Having been married to a Catholic for many years I understood these various references...but not all faiths have all these things. Still is a fun way to tweak religion a bit. I think your concept of a cd of humorous religious sonsg is an excellent one. This one is well written.

Bobbie

[This message has been edited by Bobbie Gallup (edited 10-14-2001).]

Thanks Bobbie. I know this is kind of Catholic/Episcopal specific in parts. I need a few more ideas for songs. They don't have to be just for Catholics. I would like to find more universal topics so we can laugh at ourselves. Any ideas?

Ahhh......a king in my own mind, lol! I know some of my past songs would fit the bill

I like this one a lot Jean. This is going to be a good little collection of fun songs when you get finished. Good job and no nits from me!


David

Thank you, your highness!
Any ideas for more Christian humor? I am running out of them. Maybe Christians aren't so funny after all. Maybe Mel Brooks already took all the good ones.

JeanB

Howdy Sister MCC,

Just had a thought for you to consider. I was going to write one about folks who have their halos on a bit too tight..but think you might be able to do a better job with that. The idea being that they/we sometimes get to thinking we are a bit more righteous than the next guy/gal. Think it could be made to be a humorous poke in the self-righteous ribs.

Bobbie

Jean,

I liked this. It has a rhythm and cadence all its own. For additional ideas I would suggest writing songs about all those things they've make movies and tv shows and children's religious books about -- you know, Garden of Eden, Noah and his Ark, the events leading up to the Burning Bush, etc. These are common and much more widely known references, as opposed to stuff like, "Offertory" -- whassup with that?

And have it all written, of course, in your very witty and humorous style. Lots of fodder here.


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Best Regards and Aloha,

Charlie
http://artists2.iuma.com/IUMA/Bands/Wong_Songs/index-1.html

Hi Jean, good job with this one and I agree that your idea for a CD is fabulous. I've got one you might like to consider putting music to. It's called "The Old Baptist Church" and it's got some humour in it. I'll dig it out and send you the words. Take care. Judy

Jean, quite a nice way to take a laughing jab at some of the pomp and circumstance known to some particular sects.
I agree the Psalms don't seem poetical or lyrical to me, but King David was called the "sweet Psalmist of Israel" and that title has never changed. It has kindled a curiosity in me as to the why of such a title when the Psalms we read aren't always so sweet. Some of them are quite prayerful, pleading and outright desparate. Don't see what would be considered sweet about those. I hope to one day, understand why the Psalms are considered such great "hymns". Maybe in your research you'll find some clue and make me wiser?
I find no nits for this. And since you've said your humorous songs run on the up tempo there wouldn't be a time problem I'm sure. Very nicely written.
Bobbie's idea about self-righteous folks does seem like fodder for another song or two or three. That was neat the way she said, their halo's on too tight. Ha
Anyway, good luck with the CD of humorous religious flavored songs.

This is really cute, Jean. (Or is that Sister Mary Catherine? I'm confused now!) I wouldn't put the refrain after every verse, if that was your intention. Two or three refrains stuck in there somewhere is plenty-- otherwise, the joke wears out before the lyric ends.

Nice job here!

Anthony

Don't know what half the referances here are Jean but like it anyway.
I do wonder how this would go if it opened with the sent a letter to a jewish friend, then went on to comment on all the stuuff you have in the bulk . And then went back to the reply for the outro.
I think that would give some more punch to it and beat what I ffelt was a jump right in opener.
Regards.
Graham

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http://artists2.iuma.com/IUMA/Bands/Graham_Henderson/

Jean,
Just like I do in many of my comments (which I must admit aren't much helpful) I like it, just like everyone else. I didn't see any nits, and it had me smiling from beginning to end!!
Great work and Keep it up!!
Mary

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"Every day I see your face I wish I'd stayed
Don't even know what made me run away
It's just the way I play the game

Emotional is not a word I'd use to explain myself,
but now I'm down upon my knees
Baby please take me back"-Jonny Lang

Love it JeannieBee,

I'm with Anthony though on the repetition.

What might work is to start out with it, but you speak it with music in the background, then you come in with your verses, say three of them, before you repeat the refrain there and maybe after the last verse. But that is an arrangement thing as much as anything...you have the solid base here.

And yup, a "gently" humorous CD is a winner IMO.

Jeanster...enjoyed the read here. MY only nit would be to drop "eschew"...don't think your average person, whether religous or not, is gonna have the slightest idea what that words means and your already dealing with a topic that is sometimes difficult to make "conversational"...just my 2 cents...VERY well written as most of yours are.

Dear Jean:

Somehow the word eschew sounds like someone sneezing -- to which most might say, "God Bless You".

I think the lyric is very clever, but I'm not at all sure any of the staunch catholics I know would applaud it. The phrase "Your Music Stinks" may be construed as not funny, but offensive.

Personally, religion and politics are two subjects I usually try to avoid commenting on.

If you haven't already done so, perhaps, you should take a short poll among your peers for more feedback.

Good luck with your writing.

Sincerely,

Marian

Sister,

This one is right on...echos the feelings of many people I know. Very funny.

Cheers,
Ben Stevenson

I just got back from church and wow!

Bobbie thanks for the idea! I'll apply the too tight halo to myself and use scripture to back it up. If anyone recognizes themselves in the song, I can say who was talking about you? Maybe call it, "Haloretentiveitis."

Charlie, thank you for the response . This particular song is aimed for the Catholic/Episcopal and possibly Lutheran churchgoers. If I ever perform this in front of an audience unfamiliar with the terms, I'll have to give a little background before I sing it. If you read my post, "Day Of Rest," which is a few pages back, it may help you with the terms. That song would preface this one if I ever get to do an album.

I have written fun songs to help teach Bible stories, but I didn't think about the Garden of Eden. Hmmm…that could be very funny. Thanks.


Judy, Judy, Judy! Thank you. I would love to hear the Baptist song! Can't wait.

Sharon, thank you so much. I agree with you that many of the Psalms are not sweet at all. One minute they say how kind and merciful God is and then they ask God to grind their enemies into the ground and send them to the pits of Sheol. And all in the same breath. After reading the Psalms, and then looking at the Middle East, I don't see how it's changed at all. Maybe all that hot desert air and sand is just too much for people.

Anthony, thank you so much for reading this and your kind remarks. I think you are right about the chorus. When I notate the song, I will make the correction. Thanks for the tip. Don't worry about which one of us is speaking. The one you have to worry about is Mean Mz. Jean. Shh. Do not wake her up!

Graham, thank you for reaching up from down under! Just for fun, as an endurance test, you should go to Mass, then you would understand. I kind of left the Jewish part for last so I can say that even they don't like it. Thanks for the suggestions.

Mary, thank you so much for your support here and in other posts as well. Who says they aren't helpful. You can be sure that when you find a nit, I will certainly pay attention. If even Mary says so, then I'll know that I have corrections to do. It isn't quantity, it's quality.

Hi John. I think you and Anthony are right about the refrain. I'll try it the way you suggest and see how it works. How about you writing some humorous "true" history songs. That would make a great CD.

Blake, thank you so much. I have received so much positive reinforcement today that I had to, OUCH, take off my halo.

Eschew is a very pompous word. That's why I like it. It sticks out like a sore thumb. I could preface the song in performance with a kind of a word of the day, thing. That might help those who are used to using reasonable language.

Some people know what it means, they've just never heard it pronounced. That how pompous it is. Thank you so much for the reading and the suggestion. It's a valid one.

Marian, thank you for the point about staunch Catholics. Nobody is stauncher than my mom. She doesn't like the way the Psalms are sung either. I did share this with the Principal of my school, and several very staunch Catholic Colleagues. (I teach music and art at a Catholic School.) They thought it was funny, because they don't like singing them either. I'll ask my mom to show it to her friend the Bishop and see what he thinks. Thanks for the warning.

Ben, thank you for your reading and your support.