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Hi y'all...and happy Thanksgiving.......
I was given an impromptu (sp?) invitation...
to come to the elementary school..this morning...and
perform. I am finishing this as I write it........someone...if ya can check me out for tenses.....and the like......?...thanks so very much.!!!! I may have to sing this as it is...........now...but if ya can help me improve it for next year...would appreciate....
kk

Albuquerque Turkey
Kaley Willow
c2003

In a big truck bound for Albuquerque
Thirty turkeys worried 'bout their lives
In just minutes, they'd be at the butcher
On Thanksgiving, baked 'long side pumpkin pie
They didn't cry ,no, they put their beaks together
And kept gobbling till they had a plan
When the back door opens up wide
They'd race to the outside
and then ......begin to dance

The Albuquerque Turkeys
Circled right around
Flapped their wings
Made some Turkey sounds
Some Stepped Up
Some Stepped Back
Circled 'round again
Albuquerque Turkeys.....danced
Oh the Albuquerque turkeys danced

Well the whole town came to see the dancers
Thirty turkeys kickin' up their toes
But the turkeys thought the crowd looked hungry
So it seemed like a real good time to go
They hurried over to the nearest foothill
And didn't stop TILL they reached...the top
Went on dancing till midnight
Up on the Hillside
Fin'lly Free.....happy to be

The Albuquerque Turkeys
Circled right around
Flapped their wings
Made some Turkey sounds
Some Stepped Up
Some Stepped Back
Circled 'round again
Albuquerque Turkeys.....danced
Oh the Albuquerque turkeys danced


edited.......in..

On the Chorus...on that ONE STEPPED UP
would it be easier if..it was...SOME STEPPED UP...Some Stepped Back....

or maybe..just.....
One Step UP
One Step Back... with out the (ed)...



[This message has been edited by Kaley Willow (edited 11-28-2003).]

At a couple read throughs--think impromptu is spelled right (from my limited schoolin'), but think It's Albuquerque
in 7th line seems it maybe should be "opened" 'stead of opens ?
In C--works I think--Turkeys wings aren't all that "little". Poss. --"happy wings" and "turkey sounds" but porob'ly works as is too.
V 2--line 5--Turkeys fly pretty good, tho not like a bird--maybe, hmm well maybe tame turkeys don't fly much, but wild ones do --maybe "flew" instead of "hurried" but couldnt fly clear over in one hop.
Some stepped up--would be more akin to a square dance --which this sounds like.
I don't find anything major at a couple reads
Hids should love it
Wy

HI Wy, this has made so many changes since 9:00 this morning......maybe two spellings..?....it's coming up both ways in search engine...wonder which is...more correct....will check quick...for i leave..just checked...dictionary is saying
Albuquerque..SO..THANKS...will change that quick and I'll edit it....thanks much!!!!!
k..on little wings.......(that was one of those....i kept playing with...i was thinking little kids...little wings..
will give that some more thoughts.....
yeah.....and I 've seen them..fly......just seemed to work with the melody better on that...and I was thinking how this would illustrate...on them hurrying out of town.
thanks on the...opened...I wondered...

thanks for the look...and comment...will
think about the changes as i'm driving..

and will edit that correct spelling....
boy I even came up with a whole web site
with the wrong spelling...<G>....

thanks bunches.....

kk

Hi Kaley,

Just gave it a read and looks like Wyman pretty well covered the bases. Can't think of anything to add except cute little song that the kids should get a real kick out of . . . I can see them dancing the Albuquerque Turkey now. I'll give it test read for my six-year-old granddaughter next time they're here.

Larry

Kaley:

When the back door "opens" up wide is correct. This is a future event soon to happen supported by the following lines "they'd race outside and then begin to dance."

Some stepped up is better too. Lots of turkeys, so get them all involved in the dance...

P.E. Knudsen

Hi Kaley,

Just gave it a read and looks like Wyman pretty well covered the bases. Can't think of anything to add except cute little song that the kids should get a real kick out of . . . I can see them dancing the Albuquerque Turkey now. I'll give it test read for my six-year-old granddaughters next time they're here.

Larry

Thanks much Larry!!!!....glad you liked this!!!...and yes..please let me know...if your granddaughter likes it or not. I'd really appreciate it...This was the first year..I've had..children's groups..perform..songs I've written or co-written..but today was the first..I've sung to an audience of kids (they're quite forgiving.. )...and it was fun!..
Yeah...I'm especially glad Wy..caught that big one on Albuquerque...

thank you for stopping by and commenting!!
& Happy Thanksgiving

Kaley

Hi Knute, I'm not sure we've met but howdi!....(but I'm more scattered lately than...normal..
so maybe we have.)

boy...I'm up in the air...on those tenses through out this whole thing......Thanks very much....for your thoughts on this...

and I like the idea...of SOME stepped up..
like you guys are suggesting...cause it would get more of the kids participating in it.......
Thanks very much for reading and commenting.......

Kaley

Kaley:

For most of your lyric, you have properly written in the past tense. You are telling a story about something that has happened in the past. However, the three lines relating to the turkey's plan can go either way.

When the back door opens up wide
They'd race to the outside
and then ......begin to dance

or

When the back door opened up wide
They raced to the outside
and then ......began to dance

Either way os okay, just don't mix present and past tense in either example I've shown.

Thirty turkeys kickin' up their toes is in the present tense, but that's okay in your context, as well.

Regarding grammar and spelling, Dawg can tell you I'm the stickler. If you plan to sing this in p'up wood country, check with Dawg regarding when to use present and past tense. It gets confusing until you get the hang of the local dialect...

P.E. Knudsen



[This message has been edited by Knute (edited 11-26-2003).]

Knute, Thanks for the return visit...!!!...and also...the helpful hints...

appreciate that!....

Happy Thanksgiving,
Kaley

Hi Kaley,

'Bout time we had a novelty Thanksgiving song...very cute!

Ann ,

Really Glad you Enjoyed this...was a fun one to write just thinking about what the Turkeys were thinking about. ......

Best Wishes....and thanks!

Kaley

Hi Kaley,

I totally enjoyed reading this & would like to be in the audience.
Nice job.

Calvin

Hi Kaley

I'm late...but would like to hear how things went with your performance. It sounds real cute.

A "Gobbler" of a song :eek

StrCountry1
Michelle

Hi Calvin...I'm glad you enjoyed this...and
for the nice thoughts.....yeah, the kids did seem to get into this..... ...thanks much...

gentle hugs to Callie...
Kaley

Hi Michelle..., thanks for taking a look at this..Gobbling song....and glad you liked it.....

by the way...are you by any chance the Michelle from Ohio..from the old, old, board?....if not...Nice to meet ya....(whoops that didn't sound quite like i meant it... ...IF ya are,...well...then...Welcome Back!)

well...It was a first for me on singing like that.A few folks over the past couple years have encouraged me.to do some of my own demos..and i've always balked. Now a publisher and a foundation are saying my voice is right
for ..SOME ...of the stuff I write...
so.....instead of saying..I couldn't..to the school....I said..sure....and then watching the kids...get into the song..and really listen and laugh...well...it made my day.
I still don't think much of my voice...but
hey......I'm being told a Muppet Voice..is good for kids songs...<g>.....

anyways , that was nice of you to ask....

Best Wishes,and thanks.......
Kaley

Hi, Kaley! After being there at the demo studio with you at Pineyfest while you were cutting the demo and beng able to listen in on that one, I'm sure you did a wonderful job with this one for the kids! I'm so amazed at the kids songs you come up with -- you are so talented, lady!! Enjoyed this!


------------------
Mary Lou

Hi Mary Lou...... Well, thank you.
this was a fun one to write.. and having a little pressure put on me to finish it up
and be there at 12:30 ......worked!

thanks on the singing, I've always balked...but I'm being encouraged to give it a try on some of my songs...so
I'm at least seriously considering taking some lessons...etc. so voice can be evaluated..and maybe they can help me to improve.

thanks Gal....
and Best Wishes....

kk