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Country...

https://www.soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=15256803

Purple Balloons hangin on air
styro foam cups and plates on a chair
selfies and smiles tacked to a cube
echoes of laughter the night's interlude

Twas Somebody's birthday
A day shift hooray!
I'm here through midnight
when blue turns to gray
when blue turns to gray

A silk haired latina toes through the aisle
vacuums the crumbs and gives me a smile
empties the bucket then poof she be gone
a row of fluorescent now one's only on

Twas somebody's birthday
Avday shift hoorayim hete theu midnight
When blue turns to gray

And when night turns to day
it's 4 am
and the deer look for windshield to smash
When night turns to gray
radio host talks "anything goes"
the moonlight and stars all collapse

Twas somebody's big day
A day shift Hoorah,
I work through midnight
When blue turns to gray

Odd, disjointed, not very relatable, un-moving.

Try...

an afternoon date , or chance meeting.
turned into a one-night-stand at a high-rise apt, windows facing east,
up all night,
stretching into the next morning.
ghosted after that.

isolation

I see so in other words, be unoriginal, lame, predictable, and like the millions of other artists like yourself on soundclick

Got it!

No. You don't get it.

I was talking to a woman who owns a couple of art galleries the other day.
She is an artist herself.

She said she spends most of her time convincing artists that she represents to realize that what lights-them-up... doesn't light up anyone else. If they want their stuff to be viable, they have to take into account what other people will relate to.

So here you have depicted...

Some birthday party of person unknown and undefined in a location unknown and undefined.
Crumbs being vacuumed.
Something or other, about blue-and-gray.

Incohesive. No traction.

And then...

"empties the bucket then poof she be gone"

That line is ghastly. I stopped and read it twice to be certain that it was really that bad. Didn't you criticize something for "cultural appropriation" once?

Its describing the scene. Like you said nobody can relate, so we must show them.

Youre still hete for drama, you've never posted more than 3 songs, all of them suck.

When you were doing the music yourself, people at least gave points for trying.

I would stop worrying about my eork. Smybody who knows anything knows you cant help me,

True to form in your standard reply to crits of your songs...

"Your sister is ugly.
She could be pretty.
But she's ugly"

No real info there.

I have given you a serious and genuine critique of your song.
Now, rather than devolving into "your-sister-is-ugly" mode, and going on and on with that...

Let's see if "somebody" else cares to share an opinion.

But yiur crits are wrong.

You have bitched and moaned for ten years about this place, yiu are the biggest contributor to problems here.

Yiu offer no musical insight or knowledge

Go
Away