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Not sure if I'll write a final verse instead of repeating, to build on the challenge in the bridge...but WOW this tgus came out great

https://www.udio.com/songs/iBAegc6HSLeZitb1SXiCQe

Damn Dom,

2nd time in about as many days that I enjoyed something you put up and can make a sincere compliment.

You and I are on different wavelengths tonally, and this music isnt something that lights me up,

however,
the discordant tonality of the voices in the chorus is kinda cool as it conveys your observance of the cosmos and spirituality. Stated another way...it seems unique and uniquely right for that.

When you pivot from the cosmos/spirituality to a love song, I thought that juxtaposition was a bit abrupt and not real convincing. The lyrics in the love song seemed too quick and out-of-nowhere to my ear and my interest waned after the pivot.

Stated another way, the pivot seemed a bit odd and the love song lyrics, though fine, in contrast to the cosmos part, seemed not have the same "freshness."

Having said...
I thought that your cosmos/spirituality section was very interesting to read and listen to, and I thought that your lyrics and rhymes were very well chosen.

One person's opinion.

Thanks again. It felt a bit weird doing this, I'm not sime new age philosopher . Just an interest in it.

Tonally, it's YEs or Rush, I think perfect backdrop cause in prog rock you can go anywhere, you should explore it anytime you have an off kilter subject.

Sounds a lot like trevor horn of yes singing.

Not sure if I'm keeping the bridge, but I wanted to offer something to somebody who doesn't agree with the slant .

I think people who like yes or Rush would dig it

Thanks for your honest take.