JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback A.I. Assisted Music Forum The Insomnia Song(I got alot on my mind)

Think is the best result I've gotten yet
Working on craft, working hard in general pays off.
Best ai assisted song Ive heard
After hours and hours and hours of trial and error, have to call it Dom Assisted

Very pleased. This is a combo of progressive rock, punk, pop...

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=15032281

I gotta get movin
I gotta get a job
Everybody I know
Thinks I'm a lazy slob...
And then some
Look at my belly
What happened to my hair ?
My back is in front of me
This [naughty word removed] ain't fair...
And then some

And so it goes
Where it stops no one knows
I got a lot on my mind
Ahhhhh ahh ahh ahh
I got alot on my mind
Ahhhhh ahh ahh
I got alot on my mind

Where are my buddies?
From yesteryear
Somebody send me a message
Let's have a beer...
And then some
What about money?
And social security
What if I live to be a hundred
Who'll come visit me?

And so it goes
Where it stops no one knows
I got a lot on my mind
Ahhhhh ahh ahh ahh
I got alot on my mind
Ahhhhh ahh ahh ahh
I got alot on my mind

The woman at the bank
Them flirty ways
Jamie Lee Curtis
Before the yogurt days

Will I ever find love?
get me out of this place
How will I finish in this human race...
And then some

And so it goes
Where it stops no one knows
I got a lot on my mind
Ahhhhh ahh ahh ahh
I got alot on my mind
Ahhhhh ahh ahh ahh
I got alot on my mind

Everybody who has heard this who's opinion i value thinks this could be a hit. Even casual listeners my niece and her klan

I'm not sure I could better it trying to rerecird.

I think the bridge is killer based on my coercing into into those woo oohs.but I don't like the chords there.

But this is one of the best ai songs I've ever heard

Leave yourself another comment or two. You re on a roll here.

its written well , just not sure how good the tracks are , They sound a bit out tune , maybe its just me

Thanks Hacky. We knew you couldn't help yourself

I think it's borrowing pearl jam sound, grunge music was all out of tune.

That said I don't hear it , sounds pretty darn it good to me. Can always do it myself whereas hacky up there cant

I told you troll. New rules for me.
I couldn't get you to agree to leave me alone, so now, I'm you.

Pavlovian hacky

SONG REVIEW

In my opinion, the writing is okay, but the song seems characteristically odd and narcissistic.
The relatability comes down to a world view for old bald guys with beer guts hanging over their belts, who are slobs.
(compliments from relatives are not trustworthy)


While the self effacement is kinda cute, who really wants to hear a song about social security and beer guts, other than the guys that it describes? Maybe not even them. I suspect that this is primarily an egocentric description of, and ode to Dom himself.


The music selection is a Pretenders type of sound. Garage band-ish. The singer does sound appropriate, sloppy and a bit off key, reasonably matched to the lyrics...so maybe that fits the lyric somewhat.
The song makes me recall the Kryptonite video with the old guy dressed up as a super hero. Great song that carried the video. But cringy old guy.

Overall grade: C to C-

Who wants to hear any song hacky? Who wants to hear another cliche love song

I suspect there are millions of people who have struggled with a racing mind, in this highly stressed society we live in

I know I enjoy seeing/hearing the perspective of a human being, and something I'm not gonna hear every day.

And I think you need to be into the genre you listen to.

This is not garage rock. You think anything with an electric guitar is garage rock.
Garage rock is not this polished.

You forgot to mention this has a massive hook and ear worm potential

You may want to hear unique perspectives, or you may simply be looking for a POV that sets you apart from the pack.
But generally songs rise on the appeal of their sound or relatability. This song lacks either.

I dont think that anything with an electric guitar is garage band. But I think that this is. And the music is overly predictable and a bit "lifeless" and the appeal seems very narrow.
The singer's voice sounds a bit lifeless, but that may work because of what he is describing.

"massive hook and earworm potential?" ...Hardly. That's very likely just delusional self aggrandizement.

Lol over predictable. Well it is still a pop song after all. I totally disagree that the appeal is narrow.

Everybody sleeps, everybody alive has been laying in bed unable to sleep, nobody has written it this way, or worded it this way.

Disagree ...great hook,

Laugh out loud all you want Dom, but that won't make this song great.
You can disagree that the appeal is narrow...but a pop song featuring an old bald guy with a beer gut, who is sweating his social security check?
The appeal, which one can only assume with no evidence one or the other, is that this song and content would have a very narrow appeal.

Great hook? What great hook?

Dom, I suspect that your song lights you up, because it is about you. That is a tiny bubble.

GRADE C t C-


This will conclude the critique of this song. I hope that there is something helpful to you.
Have a lovely day.

Growing old is a common theme in rock music, mainly once the Friday night aspect of life goes away.

Old ball guy is one of many thoughts could be millions running through anybody's mind

The whole build up to the ahhh ahh, behind that melody and lyrical phrase. That power chord

its loaded with hooks.

The bottom line is your a country bumpkin who doesn't know anything about this type of music

It's ok, but if that's what you really think, I'm fine with it, I can't force feed you it

Your problem is that I am not a country bumpkin Dom.
My opinion is only that...but it clearly has some face value here.

Your song appears to be an ode to Dom. As I said, that is an obliviously tiny bubble to put yourself in when writing for others.

Oh, wait a minute that's totally valid. This is NOt a pitch. Absolutely an artist song

Then again artist songs get covered way more than songwriters songs.

Absolutely correct, Nashville would have nothing to do with this

I never specifically referred to "Nashville," whatever that is anymore.
Who would cover this old-bald-guy-song and why?
Such a claim presumes that your songs have been covered before. I don't remember you mentioning that ever happening.
What evidence for your claims can you present?

"Artist song?" Schmartist song. What does that even mean?"

I use the term Nashville to describe songs written to be pre approved by Nashville goalies. Turn the page within 15 seconds, must be perfectly understood, must be like other hit songs,must be ready made and boxed accordingly.

You can learn a lot trying to write that way, but it's still just one way oc writing.one dogma.

I just posted this song where and how would it be covered, it's been heard by 25 people maybe

You say that upwards to 25 people have heard this song.
Based on those numbers, and opinions that you value...






What is the reason that someone other than you, should believe that?

Perfectly written, knew that would bring you in.

As a writer I know how to draw people in

But listening to your shite, it's also accurate.

So in addition to your songs being one of the best AI songs that you have ever heard...you are also the master manipulator.
However...

You did not answer a valid question. Why should anyone else believe "this is one of the best ai songs I've ever heard" ???

I think you can beat the garage band sound , :lyrically its good