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KADAVAR
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/14/25 10:28 PM
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ai Tip
by Fdemetrio - 05/14/25 07:18 AM
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Drum Sum
by Bill Draper - 05/13/25 07:27 PM
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Poof
by Bill Draper - 05/13/25 07:21 PM
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Hey All, Well I took the plunge and put up a film script on Amazon Studios. ![[Linked Image]](http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/Q/project/21096/main1365571553._SX530_SY298_.jpg) The Brakeman I'm still not too sure about crowd sourcing regarding film scripts, but thought I'd give it a go and get a good beating by the ravishing hoards. Will report back if I survive.  cheers, niteshift PS - all positive reviews recieve a bottle of beer ( by fax ) and all negative ones ..... well, I'll have to think about that one. 
Last edited by niteshift; 03/12/14 07:28 AM.
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Well, the page looks good and the synopsis sounds interesting. Congrats on getting it out there. It does not do any good sitting in the closet.
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Thanks Colin !
Yeah, you're right. This is quite a different concept, and getting it out there is probably worthwhile.
I've come from a background where projects were put together "in secret", then road tested, and finally presented, so as not to show their faults from the outset. This model is warts and all.
Will it work ? I don't know, but have decided this is a beta test. If it gets panned by a general audience, then perhaps it deserves to be shelved. Why waste time and effort in something that an audience is not interested in ?
Anyways, we'll see what happens, and I'll duly report back the findings.
cheers, niteshift
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Thanks Colin !
I've come from a background where projects were put together "in secret", then road tested, and finally presented, so as not to show their faults from the outset. This model is warts and all.
cheers, niteshift
My apologies Nite. I got caught up in other "Life" business the last coupla weeks. Gonna check this out now. And for what it's worth, "road testing" isn't such a bad idea. Theatre has done that for decades with out-of-town tryouts, often resulting in major changes/improvement...I'm not sure about the wuality of input form the Amazon crowd, but it's definitely worth a try. Will get back to you. Midnite
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Thanks Mate, No rush. Life is more important. Any thoughts on http://labs.triggerstreet.com/niteshift ? It's got a great review process, and some pretty good writers too. cheers, niteshift
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Oh great ! Getting 2/5's at Trigger St, .. oh well, time for the 4th draft..... *sigh*... at least I'm used to rejection cheers, niteshift
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Double post
Last edited by niteshift; 04/16/13 02:34 PM.
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Woohoo! Just got a 3/10 from The Blacklist. I guess the only way is up.  *bangs head on desk* At least I'm brilliant at failure. cheers, niteshift ( who has gone down to the garden to eat worms  )
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Mmmm....Worms....Yummy!
Me, I'm to timid to even TRY the Blacklist.
Screenwriting is like songwriting for masochists. Why spend a week on three verses, when you can spend a year or two(or 5) on 100 pages and get the same soul-numbing responses?
Stick with the nice, soft worms, and try to keep away from sharp objects like razor knives.
Midnite
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Interesting synopsis Nite. I imagine getting a screen play off the ground is a hard nut to crack. Have you seen this website: http://www.filmmaking.net/ Good luck! Best, John
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Logline : When a failed songwriter fails at screenwriting too, he goes down to the garden to eat worms. When a fellow scrennwriter mentions the word "knife" the first one tops himself. FADE TO BLACK cheers, niteshift
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Thanks John, I'll check it out.
cheers, niteshift
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Oh well, just got rejection No4, at least it's from a major studio. ( not Amazon ) The comment was.... Most will question the reality of the main character's job and how that could balance with wanting to be song writer. For the feel good ending to work more scenes and story to her songwriting must be injected.And that's from the synopsis only..... not the script, they haven't even read it. Or even listened to any of the songs, as you're not "allowed" to pitch a film script with any other material even being remotely presnt in a music based film script. Geeza ! An there's 14 bloomin songs in it. *shakes head* Crikey ! I know song writers from all walks of life. Why can't a songwriter be a stock broker ? I bet I can name MANY professoional people who are songwriters, and it's a common thing that those who are successful in one thing are quite often artistic in a parrallel opposite kind of way. I love the "wanting" to be a song writer bit. You either are or you are not. There is no choice, regardless of your current position. Kinda like your sexuality or your temperament. Bah ! Humbug ! They simply don't understand my artistic brillliance !  Time to eat more worms, and stay away from razor blades. cheers, niteshift PS - ... wanting to be song writer. is not even correct English.
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Congratulations on getting a response of any kind. Most of my music marketing schemes do not even receive a "go to hell".
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Colin, Yeah, in some ways, I just wished I got the standard "no thanks, not what we're looking for" form letter. At least there was a response..... I suppose.... but just try to tell ME ( after 30 yrs ) what a songwriter "IS" when you have no idea..... It's Ok, I hope this doesn't look like sour grapes ( which it isn't ) , just another pothole on the speedway of life. cheer, niteshift
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Oh well,
2 more rejections this week, along the lines lines of.... "thanks, but it just doesn't grab us".
But on a positive note, some upbeat comments from Trigger St, some very insightful views, and the re-formatted script actually got liked on Facebook. BY ONE WHOLE PERSON ! Whoohoo !
Um, what does THAT mean ? *shrugs^
One thing is, I now know very clearly where the re-writes need to occur, and to what extent.
The annoying side ? There really are a few folks out there who are so "concerned" with "correct" format it seems to overpower them. If it's not "standard" ( no such thing ) Academy format, then you're a very naughty boy indeed, and should be whipped into line with a soggy bagel.
I wonder how they explain "concept sold to Universal" where the script hasn't even been written yet ? *shakes head again*
Anyways, onward and...... um,..... sideways.
cheers, niteshift
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What is it they say about rejection? If you can't stand rejection in the arts, you don't belong there. Keep plugging away!!!!!
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Thanks mate, Little steps, little steps..... cheers, niteshift PS - no desire for worms or razor blades tonight. Always a good thing.
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Oooh.... up to 3/5 stars at Trigger Street. I'm over half way liked ! CHOO choo choo choo..... CHOO choo choo choo..... I think I can.... chugga chugga chugga...... cheers, niteshift
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Hey Geoff,
Can you tell me more about the Amazon Studio thing? It's the first I have heard of it?
Brian
Brian Austin Whitney Founder Just Plain Folks jpfolkspro@gmail.com Skype: Brian Austin Whitney Facebook: www.facebook.com/justplainfolks"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney "It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..." -Brian Austin Whitney "Sometimes all you have to do to inspire humans to greatness is to give them a reason and opportunity to do something great." -Brian Austin Whitney
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Hey Brian, Amazon Studios is basically a site where you put up your script. In doing so, they have first option ( in partnership with Warner Bros ) to option it. That's a $10k payment, essentially a development grant to take it further and work on it. They have 45 days first option, then it all expires. To be honest, it's meant to be a development site where other writers comment on your work, can get involved and suggest re-writes ( with your permission ) and make things better. I haven't had one comment, and I feel it's just a total free for all. No community, and essentially no interest in your work, and it's essentially a lottery ticket. Trigger Street Labs however is a totally different concept. Run by Kevin Spacy for the last ten years or so, bills itself as "writers helping other writers". Great, positive feedback ( even if you suck ) at the pointy end of the stick. Essentially, you put up your work. Then request an "assignment". You review the work at hand, and that gives you one credit for your own work to be assigned for review to others. In this way, you must WORK, for your work to be reviewed. Then on top of that, you are asked to review 2 reviews before your own review is posted, and also a ten question questionarre to establish that you have actually read the work in question. In that way, there is a screening process involved and a self perpetuating quality control proceess of the feedback you are getting back. i.e. the review rating is weighted according to what others think of it. Did I see you were thinking of doing something in film/TV a while back Brian ? If so, I would highly recommend Trigger St. It's tough. It's savage. But very honest in the end, of where you are up to in the process script wise. Likewise you may like to look at the process involved as it may help folks here who are more serious in their critique/feedback stuff and may want to give a more structured reply in their critiques. It wouldn't work "as is", as a film scipt takes a heck of a lot lore work than a single song, but the overall theme is worth looking into. cheers, niteshift
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Nite,
They must be using the same engine/software that Project Greenlight (the Matt Damon/Ben Affleck TV Show) used when they were in operation. I used to do critiques there and was given some type of special recognition as a top reviewer for the rated quality of my feedback. But in truth, I never got to review a decent script to review, they were are terrible. And that in part was why their show/project failed sadly. I had planned to submit a screenplay for the next show but it was cancelled before they even finished broadcasting the final season, though I thought it was by far the best one and getting better each year. If they had stuck with it I honestly think they were on to something huge, but of course as is usual, networks are short sighted and have no ability to project the future very well.
Brian
Brian Austin Whitney Founder Just Plain Folks jpfolkspro@gmail.com Skype: Brian Austin Whitney Facebook: www.facebook.com/justplainfolks"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney "It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..." -Brian Austin Whitney "Sometimes all you have to do to inspire humans to greatness is to give them a reason and opportunity to do something great." -Brian Austin Whitney
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Hey Brian, Yeah, it sounds very similar in it's set-up. Even the reviews are reviewd, so you can't get much better quality control than that. I'm very grateful for the detailed notes provided, and can step wawy now with a clearer thought process of where it needs re-writes. I now know for example that pages 10-30 pretty much suck, and can can concentrate on the builds needed for the whole thing to work better. As a writers' site, it's great, but to be honest, I'd really like to see more producer and director involvement. I know that's almost impossible, as there would be 100 script writers per producer present, but that's the reality of how film projects are mainly put together. How's your film project going ? I would definitely reccomend running your script through Trigger Street. You even see very experienced writers thanking folks for picking up those odd small things which have slipped under the radar, most often continuity points which have evaded the writer. I'll report back after the re-write and see if I can evaluate a noticable difference in how it is percieved. Perhaps I can do better than my current 2 star rating. cheers, niteshift
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Hey Brian, Just got notification that the script passed Round 1 ( the "Qualifying Round" ) at the filmmakers.com site for their annual awards process. And there you have Project Greenlight as one of the sponsers/supporters/filtering process, so it all sounds legit. http://screenplaycontest.net/index-5.html#1stRoundQualifiers . under Drama, way down the page. I'm not one for entering contests, but as an unknown writer, the studio notes themselves, I think, are worthwhile, and that's after a major re-write, which I'm still not happy with. Bit different from writing a song huh ? cheers, niteshift PS - be sure to put in a good word, and I'll buy you a beer.
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Be especially careful of the worms with hidden razor blades !@!!
I think the Brakeman will eventually be a hit, just keep reminding yourself it's like a hundred songs all written to tell one story , in the form of a super long music video format, with some talking between the songs...ha...that puts it in perspective for me...and just like with the songwriting, use your keen sense of who's full of crap and who isn't before you go to twerking anything...ha.
write on mate.
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Check, Moker ! Worms and razor blades under control. cheers mate, niteshift
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Well, just made the second round of the filmmakers.com script contest.... Beverly Hills, CA -- Filmmakers.com is pleased to announce the 2nd. Round Qualifiers in the Filmmakers International Screenwriting Awards Screenplay Contest. (The quarterfinals will be announced on or by January 25th). http://screenplaycontest.net/index-5.htmlChoo choo choo..... chug chug chug..... I think I can I think I can ....... cheers, niteshift
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Hi niteshift!
I'm new to this part of the forum -- I don't get out much -- LOL!
I just read this very interesting thread, culminating with the fact that "The Brakeman" has made it into the Quarter Finals! Congratulations -- I'll be crossing my fingers for your continued success! I see the script has been taken down, so I'll comment on your visual...it's very eye-catching and artsy and well done! I love the juxtaposition of all the elements there. I've already formed part of the storyline in my head by looking at it!
Lisa
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Hey Lisa, Thanks for the comments and the interest mate. Well, just got notified that The Brakeman has made it to the semifinals at filmmakers.com ( results not posted yet ) Hmm, might have to get out the red pen for some MORE revision. Oh, the anticp.p.p.p.p.p.pation of it all. cheers, niteshift
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Well that's COOL!!! Congrats and best of luck during the next phase!
Lisa
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Hey Lisa and Calvin, Thanks guys for the positive vibes guys. I think I can...... I think I can..... CHOO CHOO CHOO ... picking up steam ! cheers, niteshift
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Oh well, made the semi-finals, but have been passed over for the finals. Does that mean it's half good or half bad ? LOL ........ I think it means it's time for more revision. cheers, niteshift
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Hi nite, I'm sorry to hear it didn't make the finals, but I think it's very cool that you got as far as you did! It also adds to the play's provenance, perhaps? Maybe you can use it as a future marketing tool-- "Brakeman, a semifinalist in the Trigger Street competition..." On the plus side, too, it was so lovely of them to give you an excuse to make more fun revisions! Lisa
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Cheers Lisa ! Was just informed by a major Hollywood studio today, by a minion that "it's not quite what we're looking for at the moment". How quaint ! Must go now, and pace up and down the hall muttering "they just don't get it". Onward and sideways..... cheers, niteshift
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Congradgulations!
Did you use musical references with that or were they seperate?
I would like to get in to video presentations and stories to go with a song.
Never got around to videos and writing synapses, but it is great to see members doing that and would like to learn the fundamentals of that.
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Not been around much this past year...but this thread drew me in.
All I can say is take what you learn and keep moving forward, because you are in the learning stage. The fact you made it to a late round means you are making progress.
And it is not that they don't get it...it's that you have not made them see what they want to see. So solve for the gaps and keep going. It seems to have helped you progress this far
So keep at her and learn lots. Let me challenge and encourage you to be the first JPF member to option and sell a screenplay.
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Great advice John. Thanks !
cheers, niteshift
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Nite,
They must be using the same engine/software that Project Greenlight (the Matt Damon/Ben Affleck TV Show) used when they were in operation. I used to do critiques there and was given some type of special recognition as a top reviewer for the rated quality of my feedback. But in truth, I never got to review a decent script to review, they were are terrible. And that in part was why their show/project failed sadly. I reviewed scripts for them as well. And while they were bad I thought some of the ones I read were better than the finalists and winners. I don't think they had a good system for the early rounds of screening.
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Oops! I just realized how old the thread was! My bad....
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No worries Jay, it's all part of the conversation. cheers, niteshift
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Okeedokee, I'll toss another two cents in...
Write what you gotta write, and you'll be a richer person for the experience of following something through.
Where it goes, nobody knows, but that doesn't negate the Muse!
Cheers back at'cha Nite!
Midnite
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Nailed !
cheers, niteshift
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FWIW: Back in August of 2010, I met a young wanna-be screenwriter born and bred in Egypt, who was looking for a partner to help "Americanize" his screenplay while he continued with his day-job(an Assistant College Professor---or something like that).
He had an extremely original concept!!!, and I just couldn't resist trying to help him out...I mean, the "concept" was all his, all I had to do was "Americanize" it...Two years later, 2012, with a hundred e-mails and rewrites between us, we had it ready to submit.
And submit it we DID!!!,,,via an e-mail list of producers/agents/studios that I had built up...We got over three dozen "submission requests"...Kinda KEWL!!!
Of course, nothing came of it....It wasn't a "Known Franchise", and was on the "Big Budget" scale, so no one would take a chance...And frankly, I don't blame them!!!
But from 2012(our submission phase) until now, three years later, we have continued to keep in touch, while I keep going through transitionary day-jobs and he kept teaching and trying to find a University where he can pursue his PhD...
In the last 3 years, he has TOTALLY revamped & rewitten the original/submitted draft...And has dragged me along in the process:-)...Other than or "concept", nothing of the original remains....
Next year, he is leaving Egypt for the first time in his life and moving to England, where a University has "accepted" his application...
Three weeks ago, he sent me the first part of a "short story" that he wants to present to his niece as a gift...I was not quite brutal in my critique, but told him that I knew he could do better.
He agreed....Man, Geoff, he is one of the best writing partners I have ever had...He's gonna keep rewriting the short story and sending me drafts until he gets it perfect, no matter how many years it takes...What have I gotten myself into????...:-)
And he then sent me his "Final Effort" at the 87th rewrite of the original screenplay...because I've told him that at some point, you have to be done with something and move on, and he just wanted me to know that he's "moving on" but wanted me see his "final draft"...I was SO FRICKIN' honored!!!
I'm rambling, ain't I???...:-)
So I'll try to sum up, for those of us in this "Forum"...
A Muse is a Muse is a Muse...I think of The Muses as The Pleiades Constellation Sisters...If you look directly at them, you'll see nothing...
Don't give up the day-job-education-pursuit....But never turn your back on a Muse.....But it's not the Muses' job to pay anyone's bills....The Muses' "job" is to inspire...
And any one of us mortals( a relatively small percentage) who has ever heard a Muses' voice, should we thank(or curse???:-)... The Creator who "gifted" us with "ears to hear"...
Just wondering:-)
Midnite(forever thankful to my young Egyptian Friend for helping me to understand why we were "Gifted")Bob
P.S...Yes, I still remember our initial script swap of "The Brakeman" when I gave you a "Doh" moment:-)))))
Last edited by MidniteBob; 12/22/15 07:16 PM.
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Hey Midnite,
What a great testimony to "the way it is".
Couldn't have put it better myself.
Geez, 87th re-write ? Now, there's dedication for you !
cheers, niteshift
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What dedication and it's a shame that many wannabe's do not have that same dedication
I knew a lady who had written a book it was titled THE PATH OF THE DEAD, by Caroline Benton I was talking to her partner about life in general and I came up with the line - Life Is A Contact Sport -
What I was getting at was if no one who is in a position to help us does not know what you can do , you will get no where
with that in mind they had a call from some one who was looking for a storyline for a film, they arranged a meeting and they turned out to be a couple of dreamers, who offered her the sum of ten dollars for the rights of using the storyline, they of course refused and they mentioned it to me , I said send it to a reputable publisher who has already had some success, and ask him what would be the minimum advance for a similar situation
This particular Publisher read a few pages of the storyline
and was so impressed he gave her a contract for Publishing it both in book form and Kindle , a second novel was due to be finished, and he asked her if she did short crime stories for magazines. She then submitted some she had already written
and she started earning money via the royalties
This is a case of an author with purely a query that lead to a Publishing Deal
Last edited by Cheyenne; 01/06/16 08:23 AM.
One of the most important principles of songwriting is to remember that a good song is a partnership of many different components, all working together to produce a satisfying musical experience.
In that respect, song components are either enhancing or compromising their combined effects.
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Eh, Well niteshift,
Since you posted you message I wrote a short story I am going to submit as soon as my copyright registration comes back. No hurry as it is a good basic story. No, I am not a writer as such. This one just came to me.
Ray E. Strode
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.....This is a case of an author with purely a query that lead to a Publishing Deal
Lovely story Cheyenne. Thanks....In reality, it probably won't lead to much $$, but the $$ ain't quite the point... ....Not that I wouldn't mind some:-) Midnite
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Eh, Well niteshift,
Since you posted you message I wrote a short story I am going to submit as soon as my copyright registration comes back. No hurry as it is a good basic story. No, I am not a writer as such. This one just came to me. Someday, Ray, I'm gonna cut you in half like a redwood and count the rings just to figure out exactly how old you are! Good on you for honoring that "Short Story Muse" who led you a tad outside your comfort zone!!!! Looking forward to reading it...Don't forget to let us know where to find it! Midnite
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Ain't that the truth !
Thanks Midnite for your imput.
And Ray,if you would stop for one second, and just not worry about the copyright and just tell the damn story, we'd all be the better for it.
cheers, niteshift
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Congrats! Keep the coals burning Nite. Someday I'll be crawlin' up to your front door begging for a film score. Best, John
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Hehe John, It's going to take a many a fine year for me to catch up with your credits mate ! Thanks for your support. cheers, niteshift
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Well nite,
There are all kinds of posts of producers looking for scripts! And after 2 and 1/2 months my registration still has not come back. All I can say is there must be a lot more people writing scripts than songs! Geronimo!
Ray E. Strode
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What is the problem with not publishing before Copyright
if it comes on here it's Copyrighted
I once collaborated with a guy, a so called lyric writer
who was scared of sending any re writes because it might
be stolen the thing was he was not a very good writer and
was still learning like all of us Just saying not looking
for an argument life's too short RAY
Last edited by Cheyenne; 02/22/16 12:54 PM.
One of the most important principles of songwriting is to remember that a good song is a partnership of many different components, all working together to produce a satisfying musical experience.
In that respect, song components are either enhancing or compromising their combined effects.
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And Would You Believe It,
Still haven't seen that Registration! I may, (or may not) have the next great story! Um sorry but it is too long to post here. But! The day ain't over yet! Um, sorry nite but I may be older than trees! I did get my cancelled check back so it is in the works. The weather in Washington has been a bit nasty so those folks probably ain't a working too hard!
Ray E. Strode
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I think Cheyenne is right Ray. Your work was copyrighted the moment you wrote it down. Just put it out there to the universe..... I don't know what happens though, if the universe replies. cheers, niteshift
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Although the universe may not reply.... Got a Tweet on my Twitter feed entitled.... If you think finishing a script is a great achievement, here is a pile of 2000 unread scripts at a friends office! - Balagan Productions ![[Linked Image]](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ChDpb3sWUAAX6ck.jpg) https://twitter.com/Balagan_FilmsOh the instant realisation ! cheers, niteshift
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Great...ya never know where a door opens...Keep us posted.
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I am looking to do something with a music video narrative that follows a concept.
I have been doing ads quite a bit towards that and have been using Adobe Elements to where I have not been hooked to a cloud, looking at video making and its many facets.
How much does amazon or other sites require to be hooked to a cloud?
Everything is so much to be shared nowadays. Do the members do anything standalone anymore? Not hooked in to the cloud?
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Hey Matt,
The "cloud" is not really important re creativity or getting your ideas together.
What I find, that it's simply a storage space, and a space where you can "hire" software rather than own it.
That, together with software what allows you to work on a collaborative project with others, gives a focal point where computing power can be utilised.
Example ; I'm currently working on a 20 second 3d mock up where I want the camera to "walk" through the scene. If my own computer did it, the rendering would take 47 hours. If I use the cloud and a private provider, that same rendering takes about 20 minutes using "quote" a minimum of 3000 cpu's for about $10.
So it's about using money and time wisely, in regard to how much time do you have, and what is most cost effective.
There is no big drama about the cloud. It's simply just storing things on a bigger server, with far greater computing power, and being able to pay for hireage of a computer programme ( should you require it ) rather than owning the programme, and using that computing power to generate your finalised result. Simply something you cannot do with the best of domestic computers.
Stand alone ? That's fine, and for music, if you're not doing it professionally, most home computers will render music only in a relatively small amount of time.
cheers, niteshift
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Thanks niteshift!
That has given me quite a bit to think about.
My instructor informed me about Adobe Essentials but mentioned the time factor too.
I am entering another quarter in the fall and could probably deal with the time.
But I am going to be looking at internships.
So maybe I will eventually have to get connected to the cloud to compete with ads.
I would love to have a brain and invent the best, fastest server.
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Hey Matt, The best server you have is your own brain, because that's where the creativity is. The rest is just time and patience. cheers, niteshift
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![[Linked Image]](http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/download/Number/738/filename/road%20test1.jpg) Hey All, I thought I might put up a few pages of script and the song that accompanies it. This one was generously donated to the cause by Scott Campbell and Bob Pickens. Since Trigger St seems to have gone belly up, Amazon is a no show and filmmakers.com just seem to want to run "contests", I thought heck, why not ? The intent, since it's a film with music, is to bury music within the script so the reader can have a listen and a sing along as they are reading. Kinda like those musical books for kids, but for adults like ..... um, interns which flick through the dialogue and comment that "it's just not what we're looking for at the moment" Please excuse the formatting, it won't correct. Opening scenes overlayed with credits...... EXT/INT 60’s CAR ON RURAL BACKROADS – 30 YRS PREVIOUSTONI, 8 yrs old female, DANNY 6 yrs old male, KASEY 10 yrs old female and TONI’S DAD, 30’s male, rugged and sun tanned, a farming family ,drive along dusty rural roads in an old 1960s car. Near dusk on a hot afternoon, the windows are wound down. Toni’s Dad sits in the front bench seat, the three children sit in the back. The radio is blaring, and they are all singing along. Song - Taking the Backroads Home Intercut musically with the Beatles "She Loves You, Yeah Yeah Yeah" The children are play fighting, and start to become out of control. Toni is pinching her Dad’s ears as he drives. TONIS DAD Hey you guys, settle down a bit will you ? The children continue their antics, and the squeals become louder. Toni appears to be the main instigator TONIS DAD ( Looking in rear view mirror with kindly feigned annoyance ) I said tone it down ! The children appear to pay little attention as the car rounds a bend heading towards a one lane bridge. TONIS DAD ( Looking over shoulder ) I said . . . Toni’s Dad takes his eyes off the road to deal with the children, then returns his vision to the road. The sun flares through the windscreen. Toni’s Dad misses the entrance to a bridge. The car clips the side of the bridge, and careers down an embankment. Upon first impact, Toni is seen flying from the back seat and crashing through the front windscreen. The other occupants are seen tumbling inside the car. The car lands upon its’ side into a river below. EXT. TOP OF ONE LANE BRIDGEToni, cut and bruised, stands balancing upon the railing of the bridge, her hands outstretched slightly from her sides. Motionless, she stares into the distance. The car is half submerged below in the water.
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Well, this thread seems to get a few views, but not many comments, so I thought I'd put up another page of script and the accompanying song. The song for this scene is here ....... http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=704874&songID=13570533"The Day I Fell in Love" INT LOBBY OLD PICTURE THEATRE DAYTIME A young TONI ( aged 6-8 yrs ) walks into the lobby of an old picture theatre holding her mothers’ hand. It is dimly lit, and sunlight streaming through the large windows shows dust floating around in the air. FAMILIES are congregating, buying popcorn and ice creams in a mood of disordered civility. Across the room she sees a YOUNG BOY, a little older than herself. The YOUNG BOY holds his mothers’ hand and waits patiently in line. INT OLD PICTURE THEATRE DAYTIME The movie has finished. Toni and her mother are sitting in the middle of the audience. The young boy and his mother sit in the front row. As the lights come up, Toni is transfixed, staring at the back of the boys head. For no reason, he turns around and they smile to each other. INT. BEDROOM NIGHTIME Toni awakens with a start and grabs the alarm clock. It shows 3 AM. She jumps out of bed, turns on the lights and begins to frantically search through the closet, tossing unwanted items behind her. She finds what she is looking for, a BOX containing papers and photo albums. She takes it to the bedroom and starts to go through its contents. She finds an old photo album and flicks through it. There is a class PHOTOGRAPH of school children, aged 6-8 yrs with a hand written summary of the names written at the bottom. She locates the person in the photograph and locates the name – DAVID RAINE. Toni appears puzzled. She grabs the phone and calls Dave. TONI Hey. DAVE Hey. What time is it ? TONI 3 AM Does that matter ? DAVE Not if you don’t have to work in the morning. Can’t get enough of me eh ? (pause) I suppose you want to go out and eat TONI Very funny. Dave, what’s your name ? DAVE Is this a trick question ? TONI Your name, your real name. You told me it was Dave Hollinger. DAVE It is. . . or rather it has been . . ( still half asleep ) I mean , I, my Mom remarried and I took my stepfathers name. TONI Raine. It was Raine. DAVE How do you know that ? TONI You went to St Joseph’s primary school. DAVE Yes. How would you know that? Have you been Googling me TONI ? You know, trying to check out my unseemly past ? TONI No. You were in my brothers class. But what I don’t understand is why you were in my town when you said you grew up in yours. DAVE We moved when my Mother remarried. You know how it was in those days. No one wanted their dirty laundry aired in a small town. Did I know your brother ? TONI I’m not sure. He died a little while after the photo ( trails off ) EXT. GRAVEYARD DAYTIME The previous graveyard scene of Toni standing by her fathers’ grave is repeated. The camera pulls back to reveal a second smaller grave next to it. cheers, niteshift
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Um, Well,
The story is finished, copyright registration came back. Took about 8 months. Tried a couple of Publisher's for hire. They want about $4200.00 or so. Sorry I ain't paying to publish the story. I looked at another site where they ask for info and then find recommendations for you, basically put up Sites you can click on. Well I recognized a couple of them already so passed. However somehow my info got transferred to a new Pay Publisher I didn't ask for. And wouldn't you know it I got a call from them trying to sell me their service.
I have been looking for Movie Producer's that are seeking scripts. There are some that have a page you can give your info about the script and they will contact you if they want to read the script/story. I have sent a few but no one has asked for the story. As it costs me about 12 to 15 bucks for the package I ain't sending anything until they ask for it. I believe most of the producer's are small studios so sending to them something and getting it produced is moot at best.
Ray E. Strode
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Hey Ray,
It can never do any harm to have copyright registration, especially for something that is unique and has taken a lot of work.
There's also nothing wrong with self publishing, if you're getting good feedback on your work. We all release songs which are self published. Including The Wiggles who very wisely kept their publishing rights to themselves.
So what you actually need is a small print run. THEN it's all legwork and self promotion until it gets on a respected critique site. These guys you are talking about are not publishers. It's similar to a dude with a small recording studio saying he's a record company.
If you have faith in yourself, and your work has been professionally vetted, then get it out there. Why not ?
cheers, niteshift
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Ray, what is it you sent to the "publishers/" Your short story or your movie script, or both?
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Hey Nite, seems you got the screenwriting form done well. Good luck with it. My bro's novel is almost completed (72,000 - 80,000 words). I'm his agent. Ha! Here's a video Ray Cooper created for it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWdMq1lZ7fE Seems all the big publishers have promotion packages. I thought since I did the music for Forged: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scAWpzAj7yQ - a Random House best seller release, they might cut me a deal. Either way, I'm in this hook, line and sinker. BAM has a pretty good promotional package. I'm thinking this is a backdoor in getting a film deal. In which case, maybe a film score for me. Then again, I may just be naive. Best, John
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BTW, I think Roy did a fantastic job. A great person to work with. John
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Gavin,
I sent a printed copy.
Ray E. Strode
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Hey Nite, seems you got the screenwriting form done well. Good luck with it. My bro's novel is almost completed (72,000 - 80,000 words). I'm his agent. Ha! Here's a video Ray Cooper created for it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWdMq1lZ7fE Seems all the big publishers have promotion packages. I thought since I did the music for Forged: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scAWpzAj7yQ - a Random House best seller release, they might cut me a deal. Either way, I'm in this hook, line and sinker. BAM has a pretty good promotional package. I'm thinking this is a backdoor in getting a film deal. In which case, maybe a film score for me. Then again, I may just be naive. Best, John Hey John, You're an agent ? Well, a spooky novel couldn't have a better agent than Mr Macabre himself ! Yep, it's all about promotion and marketing. Catch the punters eyes or ears, and then lift them up by the ankles and shake out their wallet and spare change. The promo video looks great. As does the other novel. You're right about one thing. Why bother about trying to bang down the front door, when you can walk around the side and there might be a window left open ? cheers, niteshift
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Hey John, Yes, of course, but broken open by someone else. Who me ? Don't know what you're talking about officer. cheers mate, niteshift
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Well lookkee here....... 50k views ? Does that mean that there's 50k film scripts out there looking for a home ? cheers, niteshift
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2000 unread scripts? That's nothing. I had over 150K CD's in my home, but we actually screened every single one of them! We're starting to toss them out as no one would take them but at a couple hundred a week, even after 5 years of tossing, there's STILL a LOT of them left!
I was reading an article about one of my all time favorite script writers Rod Serling. After many years he finally had his first script made into a TV Movie (one he thought nothing of in the least). It was his 76th feature length script he'd written. Like scripts, if you have written at least a few hundred songs, you're not ready to pitch any of them.
Brian
Brian Austin Whitney Founder Just Plain Folks jpfolkspro@gmail.com Skype: Brian Austin Whitney Facebook: www.facebook.com/justplainfolks"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney "It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..." -Brian Austin Whitney "Sometimes all you have to do to inspire humans to greatness is to give them a reason and opportunity to do something great." -Brian Austin Whitney
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Thank's guys for your support over a number of years. This one hasn't worked for now, yet has opened doors for other paths. If you can't knock on it, then either kick it down, or find the side entrance. Write away ! cheers, niteshift
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Window open? It could accidently be broken open.