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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067 |
Hey Jackie, I like this. Maybe a better title: "He Keeps Waiting" Tweaks below, keep or sweep He Keeps Waiting For someone to love him But he's just waiting in vain He was abandoned Because he was different Didn't even give him a name He Keeps Waiting for someone to hold him Anxiously waiting for his Mama She doesn't want him He feels scared and ashamed Gone through unfortunate traumaHe's is loving and kind No spirit more bright Has so much running through his mind Will they judge him or will they love him? He Keeps WaitingFor someone heaven-sent He's been suffering quietly Today he's hopefulA family just came They look at him delightfully ( lovingly?) He's been waiting for this day for so long They take his hand to take him home They've all got someone to love They've been waiting for him Now He will never be alone He's is loving and kind No spirit more bright Has so much running through his mind Didn't judge him, they just loved him He's waited for so long. Yes, he's waited for so long, to hear someone say "we love you, you 'r e never ever going to be alone." He's is loving and kind Never was a spirit more bright Has so much going through his mind Didn't judge him, they just loved him
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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