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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 161
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 161 |
I like it, but perhaps it needs some refinement.
As I read it, the metrics of the chorus seem very similar to the verses. Maybe it would be a relief from the verses if the chorus was slightly different:
Your wings are dirty now
Feathers falling down
Hitting the cold hard ground
Like embers burning out
Just an idea, no biggy!
Andy
If at first you don't succeed, try the 'ON' switch!
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