a guy showed me a finger work out exercise way back in the 70's that is helpful for toughening the tips of your fingrs and strengthening your hand and generally just helping to bond with the neck. you start at the first fret/6th string and play four frets up the neck using all four fingers starting with the index finger.play each note up four frets and then go to the 5th string and follow that pattern across to the 1st string then play it backwards then move up one fret and do the same thing all the way up the neck as far as you can play. the focus is not speed but dexterity/accuracy and sounding each note clearly. this isn't a scale but just something to stretch/strengthen your hand and as said, toughen the finger tips. if you disipline yourself to this once a day(takes about 5 or 10 minutes)you will begin to play with more speed and dexterity. i hope my description is clear enough to get you on track with this. this is about the only kind of structured practice i was ever disiplined enough to do, like you i always tended to just bang on my guitar till something sounded like something.hope you find this helpful.

dmk