JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum Willow Tree - rewrite!!

DonnaMarilyn,

THANK YOU so much for spending some time here with me!
"Confusing" is what I need to hear - thinking about it and will amend. My guess is a bridge which "tells the missing piece" may do the trick........

As for the willow tree; to this character it IS the most significant thing, the event she most remembers even years and years later--- this magical night with its immediate betrayal the morning-after; it's part and parcel of the trauma, and to her mind, deeply and inseparably connected to it.

How to make that more clear..... hm............. pondering.

Very, very much appreciate your detailed thoughts through the lyric, that is excellent viewpoint and critique! I am taking all your questions into consideration. This is EXACTLY the sort of commentary I need when rewriting a lyric. So good to have your thoughts.

I really like the idea of deleting the two lines of the chorus - that works out.

"They" is all the people who come see her asking "Were you so&so's wife? Really?" which obviously, I have not made clear. I see that much of the story in my HEAD hasn't made it to paper yet - so in rewriting, I will address those issues and see what verses I can add to clarify the story.

The "soul has been sold" part, mainly I liked the sound of it, and the concept she feels someone ELSE sold her away without her agreeing to it, which has afflicted the rest of her life.

All-righty, this is great, I'll let my brain ponder on this and see what restructuring I can do to pour out more of the story.

Thanks so much!


Linda