It feels ... crowded. I like the voice (reminds me of Syd Barrett and early Pink Floyd). But the whole arrangement is "too much". Perhaps it is due to the mix (everything equally prominent) - perhaps it is simply too many elements distracting of the heart of the song (= melody, harmonies, lyrics).

At the same time there seem to be great ideas in these distractions, too. I do like the overall mood of this song! I think you should reduce it to it's basics (lead-vox, drums, bass, guitar-chords) and then add the best of the ideas - but not always and everywhere, just "a bit of coulour to bring it up" and keep it interesting.

Not sure if this makes any sense ...

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