Hi Mark, and welcome to JPF

This one's pretty good. It is straight forward, conversational, and has some interesting images that support your theme....

Do you do music as well? One thing I noticed is that you have the same structure\scheme throughout, basically abc repeated three times. In order to keep things musically interesting, the music has to carry things, meaning some change has to happen somewhere...is that happening in this?




If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop