Hi Lyle,
Welcome to the board.
I like that. I don't think you need a Bridge either.
I've heard other songs with a similar setup. It works quite well when done well.
"hard to even say it's mine--I feel more like the messenger or a conduit than the actual writer on this one."
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Right on, As Hank Williams or somebody said when they asked him how he wrote all those songs--------
---"I don't write 'em. I just write 'em down"
Good work
Wy