I've been thinking of having a "Worst Lyric Contest" over on my parody board at t u n e s m i t h (y'know you can't type that word here, lol)... but I think I've already crowned yours a winner. [Linked Image]

Reminds me of an oldie of mine:
Grandaddy’s Advice
©2003 Corey Parkman

v.1
I remember when I was five
Playin’ in my grandparent’s drive
I fell off my skooter and skinned my knee
Grandaddy helped me clean my cuts
He whisked the gravel off my butt
Then he smiled and gave this advice to me

c.1
Old Milwaukee makes me sick
Run go check yourself for ticks
Y’know that youngest Golden Girl sure looked nice
Then with a tear in his eye
he said I love me some squirrel pie
That’s why I never took Grandaddy’s advice

v.2
I remember in seventh grade
Ridin’ in grandaddy’s Chevrolet
He pulled over and said it was my turn
As I slipped into the driver’s seat
and felt the pedals under my feet
Grandaddy smiled and said “It’s time you learned...”

c.2
Look both ways before you leap
Damn my drawers are startin’ to creep
I wonder how the Asians get by on rice
Then with a somber voice
He said urine cures hemorrhoids
Thank goodness I never took Grandaddy’s advice

v.3
Ten years later I heard the news
Grandaddy’d flown his earthly coop
Died in his sleep with a big grin on his face
At his service I said a piece
Told some advice he’d given me
And I could almost hear his voice say...

c.3
Don’t pee on an electric fence
Look I just found thirty cents
Pour me some V-8 and vodka over ice
The Lord knows I loved that man
but I’m sure you all understand
That’s why I never took Grandaddy’s advice

(tag: in a sad voice with minimal music backing)
Old Milwaukee makes me sick
Run go check yourself for ticks
Y’know that youngest Golden Girl sure looked nice
Then with a tear in his eye
he said I love me some squirrel pie
Now I sure do miss Grandaddy’s advice

Humor blog: http://www.farcethemusic.com
Songwriting: http://www.myspace.com/coreyparkmansongwriter