I tend to agree on the last Chorus . There is something missing in this song. Not sure if I can add anything that would help tho.

I also felt the reference to the gun vs. rifle seemed to really have nothing to do with the story other than the fact that the sargent greeted the men with it. Seems there should be something that makes the comparison mean something.
All in all the story is good. It just needs that special something to bring it together.

BTW I believe the saying "this is my rifle this is my gun, this is for killing this is for fun" is an old Korean War, WW2 and earlier saying. Pre M-16, if you will. I was in the army in early 1960's using M-1's then M-14's(what a piece of crap. Jammed on a grain of sand). It was a common saying at that time. Lucky for me I was to short to go to Nam when the [naughty word removed] hit the fan.

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Bill
Live with a song in your heart

Bill
http://www.soundclick.com/billrobinson
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"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." --Thomas Jefferson didn't say it

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