Originally Posted by Michael Zaneski
Mac,

My profile picture is a little older than yours. I rationalize not changing it cuz I feel more like the guy in my picture than my 65 year old mirror image: a content, 40 year old, shoegazey introvert.

Stage 4 sucks big time; I am so sorry...but 24 to 1, as "odds" go, is better odds than snake eyes aka "craps," and I've won on many a 25 to 1, betting horse races.

I love your 3 "what we have learned" thoughts...

As musicians, we've all (here at least) more or less been forced to confront "why do I make music when there's no money in it?" Most of us do it cuz we love it, and I personally wouldn't know what else to do with my time other than "make stuff" which usually involves music. Nigel Tufnel be damned; that last Spinal Tap scene is so funny, cuz we know he would've been a hilarious but awful "salesman."

I have problems with being my own worst enemy. This I will try to heed your advice.

Aah..the fleeting-ness of time. I don't quite get folks my age still waste so much time doing what is the equivalent of flipping through magazines. Haven't they heard of the Internet? But seriously, I try to understand, but I just don't.

I'm glad you get that fame is not success, and wish to God Nick Drake could've. I've thrown out most of my 4-track stuff, as well, and am consolidating my better music and video art onto external hard drives. Not having children never bothered me. Everyone on earth forgetting my music? That does...so my best friend, a musician, and my sister, will each get an external drive...this is somehow consoling to me.

Thanks for being so open and vulnerable here, sharing like you are. I certainly could not imagine what it feels like, going through what you are, but you're generous enough to share, and that's who you've always been.

I'm not sure if I could. I think I'd move to the northern most part of Alaska, and one day start walking as far north as I could until I just dropped, with the absurd pipe dream of maybe getting thawed out and brought back to life in the year 2525, with Zager and Evans there to serenade me. wink I imagine my odds on my "poor man's cryogenics" being successful would be far worse than throwing craps.

And again, you...just 24 to 1.

I'm betting on you.

Mike



Mikel,

I still think when the time comes that I am staring a hospice bed down as my end time here, that I will find a way to the mountains before I am stuck with that as my only option.

The zager and evans reference made me laugh, as it does now everytime I hear those lyrics........but back when I was a kid, that song was pretty heavy.

Thanks for thoughts.

https://maccharles.bandcamp.com/

https://soundcloud.com/mac-charles