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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/01/24 01:05 PM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/25/24 01:36 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/24/24 10:25 AM
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by Sunset Poet - 04/24/24 08:09 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 10:08 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 12:41 AM
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
CT,
Very nice lyrical movement, and a good music vibe for your story. Lots of options as Dave mentioned for further production which I agree could enhance the song. I have a couple of lyric sugs for you to ponder. I think "pushed" signifies that she's trying to escape strife--since that doesn't seem the case lyrically, why not say "she settled in Montana?" I would also substitute the word "for" - "for all the labels" instead of using "of all the labels." - JMO.
I enjoyed your performance--nice write and plenty of potential!
steady-eddie
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