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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 823
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Written after seeing a very old man in a hospital bed. He wore a breathing device. Lying next to him was a toddler.
My son, for you it's just begun The path will follow where you lead I'm doomed to watch the setting sun And mourn the signs I failed to heed
No burden's heavy as regret My wish and luck did not collide For application was not met And soon the watchman stole the ride
Direct your feet to gainful ends With purpose carved on granite dreams Keep straight through all the hills and bends For deviations only bring
Excuses for a fruitless trip Self-pity shapes no victory Now that I’ve learned it’s come to this Without the doers, I’d not breathe
I’ve naught to give but these few words An epitaph to chart your course "Attempt" and "do" are different verbs You must provide the driving force
And not look back, but carry on Until your mission’s fairly met And only then will you have won And tasted life without regret
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
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Hey Frank, As I read this, I'm doubtful that a toddler would understand much in the way it is written. Say the same thing, but in a toddler's vocabulary.
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 823
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Shayne, I was almost asleep when I posted this. Should have left the info off. The poem came to me after seeing the photo, but the old man looked half-dead AND his mouth was covered with the device, so he couldn't talk. The child, probably 18 months, was asleep, and would not have understood even simple words of wisdom. Thanks.
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Joined: May 2004
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