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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Now a co-write with Mackie (thanks, Mackie!). Below is the lyric with his changes:
Red-Eye Flight
His LARGE SMILE greets her at the airport
A tiny pink blossom rests in his hand
He kisses her once, AND THEN again
They drive away in his old van
THE crowded backseat holds a BIG bouquet
Picked from his garden JUST before he came
Next to HIS tools IS A HAMMER AND NAILS
AN OLD BUCKET WITH ICE cold champagne
CHORUS
Romance IS FLYING tonight
On a red-eye flight
SHE’S BRINGING ALL HER love
He knows SHE can't stay
COS TOMORROW evening
SHE will fly away
On ANOTHER red-eye flight
He whisks her off to a nice little inn
Pours some sweet bubbly in two DIXIE cups
SHE SLIPS OFF HER SHOES STILL SMILIN’
IT’S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE THEY MADE LOVE.
LAYING THERE TOGETHER SHE’S STILL HIS GIRL
NOTHING FANCY SOME SMALL TALK AND DIM LIGHTS
ALL SHE HAS ON IS his OLD green t-shirt
STILL HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS ‘TIL THEY DIE
...............SOLO.................
BRIDGE
SHE WAVES GOOD BYE AGAIN
KNOWS SHE CAN’T HAVE HIM
ONE DAY HIS HARD WORK WILL END
TEARY-EYED SHE FLASHES A GRIN
CHORUS
Romance IS FLYING tonight
ANOTHER red-eye flight
SHE’S TAKING ALL HER love
BACK TO HER CITY LIFE
HE’LL MISS HER TENDER TOUCH
AS SHE FLIES away
On ANOTHER red-eye flight
Version 1:
Red-Eye Flight
His biggest grin greets her at the airport
A tiny pink blossom rests in his hand
He kisses her once, again and again
Before they drive away in his old van
His crowded backseat holds a huge bouquet
He picked from his garden before he came
Next to the tools of this hard-working man
Sits a brown paper bag with cold champagne
CHORUS
Romance landed tonight
On a red-eye flight
Though it's grounded in love
He knows it can't stay
Very next evening
It will fly away
Returning on a red-eye flight
He whisks her off to a nice little inn
Pours some sweet bubbly in two plastic cups
They sip and discuss those hours that passed
Since they had last savored love's tender touch
He gives her small gifts so she won't forget
Devotion stays close through long distance fears
Her favorite of all, his soft green t-shirt
Is there to wipe away sad goodbye tears
BRIDGE
She checks her baggage
Yet leaves her heart with him
He can't wait for the night
Romance lands on a one-way flight
CHORUS
Romance landed tonight
On a red-eye flight
Though it's grounded in love
He knows it can't stay
Very next evening
It will fly away
Returning on a red-eye flight
(c) 2012, Lisa Gundling
Last edited by Lisa Gundling; 06/23/12 10:50 AM.
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Good story Lisa, have I got this one right, she's a trolly dolly with an airline ready to fly off again until tomorrow?
Sorry 'bout this the temperature has risen here at last an it's a chilled wine afternoon in the garden
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hi Lisa,
Well written, and a good story, great imagery! It leaves me wondering why they can't stay/be together, but maybe that's what it's supposed to do?
Good write!
Jason
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Hi Travis,
This wasn't written about a stewardess, but it very well could be! Thanks for your visit and have a lovely afternoon in your garden!
Lisa
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Hi Jason,
I debated about whether I should put in the reason why, but then left it out because I thought it could be left up to the imagination -- like Travis' stewardess idea! However, maybe it does need more....I'll definitely give that more thought as things progress here! I'm so glad you liked this -- thanks!
Lisa
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LISA--
HERE'S MY TAKE ON THE STORY IN CAPS--USE OR LOSE
Red-Eye Flight
His LARGE SMILE greets her at the airport
A tiny pink blossom rests in his hand
He kisses her once, AND THEN again
They drive away in his old van
THE crowded backseat holds a BIG bouquet
Picked from his garden JUST before he came
Next to HIS tools IS A HAMMER AND NAILS
AN OLD BUCKET WITH ICE cold champagne
CHORUS
Romance IS FLYING tonight
On a red-eye flight
SHE’S BRINGING ALL HER love
He knows SHE can't stay
COS TOMORROW evening
SHE will fly away
On ANOTHER red-eye flight
He whisks her off to a nice little inn
Pours some sweet bubbly in two DIXIE cups
SHE SLIPS OFF HER SHOES STILL SMILIN’
IT’S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE THEY MADE LOVE.
LAYING THERE TOGETHER SHE’S STILL HIS GIRL
NOTHING FANCY SOME SMALL TALK AND DIM LIGHTS
ALL SHE HAS ON IS his OLD green t-shirt
STILL HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS ‘TIL THEY DIE
...............SOLO.................
BRIDGE
SHE WAVES GOOD BYE AGAIN
KNOWS SHE CAN’T HAVE HIM
ONE DAY HIS HARD WORK WILL END
TEARY-EYED SHE FLASHES A GRIN
CHORUS
Romance IS FLYING tonight
ANOTHER red-eye flight
SHE’S TAKING ALL HER love
BACK TO HER CITY LIFE
HE’LL MISS HER TENDER TOUCH
AS SHE FLIES away
On ANOTHER red-eye flight
(c) 2012, Lisa Gundling
WRITE ON--
Mackie
Last edited by Mackie H.; 06/22/12 06:50 PM.
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Lisa,
I really like this. Maybe I'm just naive, but what is a red eye flight?
Pat Spencer
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thats what i call a lay-over! Good one red eye lady!
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Hi Lisa,
I like the story and how you tell it. I think it’s well-written. It all goes by so fast for me, but then again, it probably does for them too! lol There’s a lot of detailed description to set the scene and I think the more there is of plot would expand on the the mood of their romantic night. Specifically, V1, line 4 could offer, perhaps, more intriguing info...you could put something romantic in there, for example.
Love the bridge...though my mind backtracked on “he can’t wait for the night” as I read it...thinking he just had one....so maybe a mention of “another” or "next" night or something similar to refer to their time together and his hope for more.
Good writing!
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Lovely story here, Lisa! I think you painted a descriptive story, though I too wonder why they can't be together. Then again, I like that it's left up to the imagination of the listener so they can put their own spin on it.  My only suggestion would be in the chorus: Romance landed tonight On a red-eye flight Though it's grounded in love He knows she can't stay 'Cause the very next evening She's gonna fly away
On another red-eye flight
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Hey Mackie,
I'm sorry for the delay in getting back to you here! Your changes look great and you've definitely "Mackie-ized" the song, with some big shifts in it! Would you allow me to add your name as a co-writer? I'd be honored if so!
Thanks!
Lisa
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Hi Lisa just one nit I think Mackie mentioned it too.He kisses her once,THEN again and again (I think he went for AND)
Best of luck with it
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hullo Lisa.
It reads nicely to me apart from this:
"They sip and discuss those hours that passed
Since they had last savored love's tender touch".
It feels like it's just there as a filler.
This is just my opinion though. Others may love it.
Good writing overall.
Vic
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Another good one, Lisa. To me, these lyrics suggested a long-distance marriage or similar relationship. As such, I would suggest changing some of the smaller words to reflect their togetherness. It seems to me, though, unless they were meeting in a city where neither of them lived, they would want to go home rather than to an inn, but that's me. Anyway, my recommendations are in CAPS.
Red-Eye Flight
His biggest grin greets her at the airport
A tiny pink blossom rests in his hand
He kisses her once, again and again
Before they drive away in THE/THEIR old van
His crowded backseat holds a huge bouquet
He picked from THE/THEIR garden before he came
Next to the tools of this hard-working man
Sits a brown paper bag with cold champagne
CHORUS
Romance landed tonight
On a red-eye flight
Though it's grounded in love
THEY know it can't stay
Very next evening
It will fly away
Returning on a red-eye flight
He whisks her off to a BED AND BREAKFAST
Pours some sweet bubbly in two plastic cups
They sip and discuss those hours that passed
Since they had last savored love's tender touch
He gives her small gifts so she won't forget
Devotion stays close through long distance fears
Her favorite of all, his soft green t-shirt
Is there to wipe away sad goodbye tears
BRIDGE
She checks her baggage
Yet leaves her heart with him
He can't wait for the night
Romance lands on a one-way flight
CHORUS
Romance landed tonight
On a red-eye flight
Though it's grounded in love
He knows it can't stay
Very next evening
It will fly away
Returning on a red-eye flight
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LISA--
If you want to--'TIS OK BY ME!
I'll be gone on vacation for a couple of weeks--PM me after JULY 9.
Later,
Mackie
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Hi Pat,
A red-eye flight is one that takes off late at night. Thus, the tired, red eyes! Maybe if it's not a common-enough term, we'll need to add a little something to make that clear. Thanks for stopping by here, and I'm glad that you liked it!
Lisa
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Hi Michael,
I read your little joke three times before getting it -- I guess I'm red-eyed and slow!
Laughing!
Lisa
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Hi Kristi,
Good point about the bridge, and I think that Mackie's changes to the bridge take care of that issue! Also, he added more romance throughout, too, but now you do have me thinking about that last line in verse 1!
Thank you for your helpful and thoughtful views on this!
Lisa
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Hi Ann,
Yes, that was the same dilemma that kept going through my mind as I wrote it! The idea actually came from someone I know who has a little cabin in Wisconsin. She retired from teaching and moved there, and she and her husband go back and forth. She said that after years of marriage, it's actually quite romantic! But then there could be lots of scenarios!
I like your changes to the chorus, and would have used them! However, now with Mackie's co-write, he has made lots of cool changes and improvements to the chorus which take care of the ambiguity, I think.
Thanks for your nice visit here!
Lisa
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Hi Travis,
Yes -- good change and Mackie did correct that and we're going with it!
Thanks for weighing in!
Lisa
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Hi Vic,
Those lines did bother me the most! I guess in the future, if I have lines that bother me, I should think about what you said...that the lines might be bothersome because they're filler lines! Also, the song has now been changed to incorporate Mackie's changes!
Thanks for stopping by with your good thoughts!
Lisa
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Hi Aaron,
As I mentioned to Ann, the inspiration for this did come from a married couple...one living in Wisconsin and the other in Maryland, so your instincts were correct. It's funny, those two lines you mentioned, when I originally wrote this, I had used the word "their," but then I thought that it might get confusing, since I wasn't explaining the relationship. And then I thought that though they're married to each other, each one still does have a home in their city, so I made the switch at the last minute! I did think about the hotel versus home issue, too, but thought that many people live far away from an airport, and so, with a short amount of time, they might just stay at a nearby inn. Or, they might switch -- for longer flight, they'd go home, for shorter ones, stay near the airport. I think that Mackie brings in the "highschool sweetheart" element, which does suggest that they're married.
Thanks for your thoughtful comments....I'm still giving it more thought here!
Lisa
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Hi Mackie,
That's EXCELLENT! Have a great trip and I'll drop you a PM in July!
Lisa
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