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Kolstad Offline OP
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Wonder how this sounds to your ears?
Particularly interested in comments on the lyric/form..
I think the genre might be country pop

All right, all night
http://snd.sc/ycaW6e

All Right, All Night
(c) 2012 Magne Kolstad

Sunday left, Monday’s here
But it’s been a while since my last tear
All that I’ve got to do
Is to let the time pass
Waiting for you, cause

Way past morning, sleeping late
I’m gonna wake up beside you baby
In a feel good kissing fate
We’ll take a shower in love, grab a lunch of desire
Spend a lazy afternoon in the drizzling fire

Then we’re ready for an all night’er
An all night’er, gonna be all right, though all night
All right, all night
All right, all night

Strolling down the path of least resistance
In my best dress and full commitment
It’s going to work out
That’s all I know
There’s no seed of doubt, cause

Way past morning, sleeping late
I’m gonna wake up beside you baby
In a feel good kissing fate
We’ll take a shower in love, grab a lunch of desire
Spend a lazy afternoon in the drizzling fire

Then we’re ready for an all night’er
An all night’er, gonna be all right, though all night
All right, all night
All right, all night

Lucky me
Lucky, lucky, me
Lucky me
That’s all I have to say
More words will just get in the way, cause

Way past morning, sleeping late
I’m gonna wake up beside you baby
In a feel good kissing fate
We’ll take a shower in love, grab a lunch of desire
Spend a lazy afternoon in the drizzling fire

Then we’re ready for an all night’er
An all night’er, gonna be all right, though all night
All right, all night
All right, all night

Then we’re ready for an all night’er
An all night’er, gonna be all right, though all night
All right, all night
All right, all night

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I really do like this...

one line that bothers me>>>In a feel good kissing fate..not conversational...most people don't say that.

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Hi Magne,

I think it sounds good and like most of the lyric. I agree about the fate line. Another thing is if she is just waiting to see him again (assuming it's for a woman to sing) I don't understand this line;

But it’s been a while since my last tear
I don't understand why she's been crying if it's not a break up song. smile

Dottie

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This sounds pretty good lyrically, with a few oddities attributable to a not being a native speaker of English I think. I made a few suggestions below.

Originally Posted by the songcabinet
Wonder how this sounds to your ears?
Particularly interested in comments on the lyric/form..
I think the genre might be country pop

All right, all night
http://snd.sc/ycaW6e

All Right, All Night
(c) 2012 Magne Kolstad

Sunday left, Monday’s here Sunday's gone
But it’s been a while since my last tear
All that I’ve got to do
Is to let the time pass
Waiting for you, cause

Way past morning, sleeping late
I’m gonna wake up beside you baby
In a feel good kissing fate that would be fete, but it is very uncommon usage in the USA.
We’ll take a shower in love, grab a lunch of desire shower of love
Spend a lazy afternoon in the drizzling fire rain drizzles! fire crackles!

Then we’re ready for an all night’er nighter
An all night’er, gonna be all right, though all night
All right, all night
All right, all night

Strolling down the path of least resistance
In my best dress and full commitment
It’s going to work out
That’s all I know
There’s no seed of doubt, cause

Way past morning, sleeping late
I’m gonna wake up beside you baby
In a feel good kissing fate
We’ll take a shower in love, grab a lunch of desire
Spend a lazy afternoon in the drizzling fire

Then we’re ready for an all night’er
An all night’er, gonna be all right, though all night
All right, all night
All right, all night

Lucky me
Lucky, lucky, me
Lucky me
That’s all I have to say
More words will just get in the way, cause

Way past morning, sleeping late
I’m gonna wake up beside you baby
In a feel good kissing fate
We’ll take a shower in love, grab a lunch of desire
Spend a lazy afternoon in the drizzling fire

Then we’re ready for an all night’er
An all night’er, gonna be all right, though all night
All right, all night
All right, all night

Then we’re ready for an all night’er
An all night’er, gonna be all right, though all night
All right, all night
All right, all night


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


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Kolstad Offline OP
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Neil, Dottie, Colin,

Thanks for looking into it!

Neil, I'll rewrite that line to "In a feel good kissing state", I think.

Dottie, I realize it's a negation of something that's outside the lyric. Rewrite, yep.

Colin, appreciate that. It's a big help for a non-englishman like meself :-)

Personally, I'm not sure about if the verses supports the chorus enough. Seems there's a step from the verse lyric to an "all nighter"..

Stamp: NF (Not finished).

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Originally Posted by the songcabinet

Neil, I'll rewrite that line to "In a feel good kissing state", I think.


LOL - that's the exact word I was going to suggest. I was reading through the comments thinking I had a good suggestion and then my hopes dashed right at the end - by the original poster to boot. smile

I like this Mags - it has a real nice vibe to it. I particularly thought the "lucky" section was clever. Music straddles a nice line between contemporary and familiar. Not similar to anything existing - just familiar in a "I like that kind of thing" way.

Scott



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Magne--

This one has a great sing along rhythm and sound, that could be contagious--A few lines need adjusting, but I like it!

Mackie

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Good verse, then a good sing-along chorus. That's a hard combo to beat. Mighty fine song here.


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh
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I'm all for conversational lyrics but I actually liked the line "kissing fate". I thought that line was quite interesting. Over all, there was that "conversational feel" but a cool quirky line or two makes a song memorable. Nice smooth sound to this. Enjoyed my listen!

Tom W.

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Kolstad Offline OP
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Scott, Mackie, Kevin & Tom,

Thanks guys!

Yeah, maybe "fate" is a bigger word than "state", so when choosing between big and small, small usually is the most sympathetic choice that will put the singer in a good light. But both can work. It's basically just a feel good vehicle.

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Magne
I love this song, what a great write
Dan


http://www.soundclick.com/danoconnell
A Purveyor of Folk Music
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Hi Magne,

I really like this. It's a really strong tune.

There's a few lyrical things that sound a little off to my American ears.

Quote

We’ll take a shower in love, grab a lunch of desire

Both phrases sound a little strange. If you said something like 'Have breakfast in love, grab a lunch of desire' it might make is poetically acceptable. The 'lunch of desire' by itself just seems a little weird. It is a nice image though.

Quote
though all night
'through all of the night' or just 'all night' without the 'through would both be more conversational.

Quote

In my best dress and full commitment.

This could only be said by a female. The only time 'best dress' could imply overall attire when said by a male is 'dress blues' etc. when said by military guys. Otherwise 'best dress' refers to an actual female dress. Also, 'full commitment' is kinda weird too. It's too formal of a term for this informal situation.

Hope this helps. You've got a really strong start to a tune here.

Peace,

Ian


Soundclick http://www.soundclick.com/ianferrin
Soundclick2 http://www.soundclick.com/ianferrininstrumentals

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