JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Picking Up Speed - Colin and friends - Now with piano

This is the first song from a local collaboration - Doug, Deserie and me.

Doug just added the piano part and we polished it up a bit. Comments welcome on any aspect.

[u][size:14pt][color:#000099]Picking Up Speed[/color][/size][/u]

Picking up Speed
Copyright ©2011 Deserie Valloreo, Doug Willcox, Colin Ward

V1
After 20 years of trying
Is this the best that we can do?
All of my devotion
Never mattered much to you
An album full of memories
Like a movie in my mind
The drama’s coming to an end
I’m no longer flying blind

Ch
Picking up speed
Picking up speed
There’s a smoother road ahead
Time to plant another seed
Searching for some answers
Trying to break your spell
Bolting to Miami
And I’ll call this my farewell
Picking up speed

V2
Every new beginning follows
Another story’s end
This is our last chapter
I’m leaving you my friend
But there’s a message on my cell phone
No time to listen now
I wonder what you said to me
But I can’t slow this down

Ch

Instrumental break

Bridge
Cross the Skyway bridge
See Sarasota’s lights
Listen to your message
In the middle of the night
Taking the next exit
Back across the Bay
I can’t give up trying
Lord I know the way


V3
Look towards the future
And do the best that we can do
All of your devotion
Means more than I ever knew
That album full of memories
Will keep playing in my mind
The story will continue
It’s time for us to shine

Ch2
Picking up speed
Picking up speed
There’s a smoother road ahead
We finally agreed
I think I found the answer
To the problems that we faced
Flying down the highway
To the joy of your embrace
Picking up speed

Nice the chorus could maybe have a little bang

Keep the melody of the pickin' up speed at the higher melody

maybe have the chorus go...
Picking up speed
Picking up speed
There’s a smoother road ahead
Time to plant another seed
Picking up speed
Picking up speed
I’ll call this my farewell
Bolting to Miami
Picking up speed
Picking up speed

Ch2
Picking up speed
Picking up speed
There’s a smoother road ahead
We finally agreed
Picking up speed
Picking up speed
I think I Heard the answer
Flying down the highway
Picking up speed
Picking up speed

Leave the ending up in the air...good or bad message???
K or S

You have a signature style which I've always liked, Colin. It's kind of a melancholy Travelin Wilburys--or at least that's how I see it.

I like your chord changes--always the unexpected when this could have easily been G/Em/C/D so kudos for that.

I could hear more muted electric in here like on those Wilbury's tunes. Also hearing some cool tom hits which weren't there.

The tune works...the chorus is long and although it starts off as an elevated chorus it sinks back into verse mode. It may be the length; I'm not sure.

I would have omitted the last verse and gone right to a chorus after the solos.

Nice start.

Zeek

Hey Colin,

I'm liking the overall vibe of the song, but I think it's sounding a bit rushed. That is probably that bloomin' drum machine which is wizzing along like crazy ( with the wrong phrasing ) Likewise the bass seems to be misplaced.

Suggs ? How about slowing it a notch or two, get a suitable speed and just play a rythm acoustic to a click track and do a vocal line. That way you can put in some phrasing ( a refrain or two would be nice ) and then put in a suitable drum and bass line.

Is it picken' up speed ? Sure is, it's getting the speed wobbles.

I agree with Zeek about the Travelin Wilburys concept, that and a more mellow Eagles type groove, and I think it will work up nicely.

cheers, niteshift

Neil,

Thanks for your comments. I would need my co-writers to join me on major revisions so I will leave the song the same for now but I have pumped up the chorus with harmonies.

Zeek,

Thanks for listening - I like the Traveling Wilburys so that is a compliment. We added the third verse to complete the story. Good idea though.

Niteshift,

I remixed it with the drums further back and the acoustic guitar up forward. I also added some Eagles harmonies after reading your suggestions. When I get the keyboard player recorded, I will polish up the mix and see if we still need more guitars. I could see slowing it down a bit, but when I listen to the last Blue Island Beer Club CD, I wish I had recorded the songs a little faster......

Nice tune

Colin, you need harmony on the entire chorus. When you start the "searching" line it sounds like the start of another verse. I'd love to hear the chorus cut by 2 lines and the hook in the middle as well as the end.

Get that rhythm section up, especially the bass drum. It needs a bottom push--something to lock it down.

Zeek

Good sound about this, you always have a good production on your stuff. A few things I would look at:

a) That shaker in the left speaker needs to take a rest during the verses (and maybe even the lead).
b) you went from 2:12 to 2:27 with nothing really happening in the "instrumental break" section.
c) I am not sure where the "plant another seed" idea fits in anywhere.
d) I would somehow find a way to cut this down to 2 verses and a bridge. Put the text and turning around in the bridge, I guess. Right now, since there aren't many dynamic changes in the tune, 3 verses just seemed very long. I would like it more as a 3 minute song, I think.

All in all, another solid write and performance by you. I would add more dynamics though and somehow crank up the chorus. Varying the percussion would go a long way towards helping.

Kevin

Mark,

Thank you!

Zeek,

Thanks for coming back again. I hear you on the additional harmonies. I am working on fixing the drum track as Niteshift mentioned and will bring it up when I get it right!

Kevin,

Thanks for commenting.
a) OK on the shaker. I might get rid of it when I get the drums working.
b) The break is going to be a piano lead but the piano player has not been over to record it yet!
c) I guess that's a metaphor for starting a new life.
d) We wrestled with that but the story seemed to need a break then a conclusion. I think I will work on making it more interesting rather than shorter.

Hey Colin...

Nice smooth easy-listening tune.

Larry

Hi Colin,

It sounds very good. My only thought and Zeek has already mentioned it is that the chorus starts off great but then it sounds more like a verse. I think shortening would be a good idea or like Neil said throw some more (Picking up speed)s in there. I forgot that it was the chorus untill that last picking up speed.

Other than that it sounds great!

Dottie

Larry,

Thanks for commenting!

Dottie,

OK - I have some things to do to make it sound more chorus like. Just need a little studio time! Thanks for listening and chiming in.

Very nice tune, Colin!! I really enjoyed it!


--Jen

Jen - thank you. Glad you liked it.

I just uploaded a revised version. Still no piano, but the harmonies are in there and the drums should be better.

It has a nice sound and vibe to it, Colin. Musically, it feels real good and the story works well too. I thought the chorus was a little long but the lines I was tempted to pitch seem needed for the story.

Only thing I didn't like about the lyric was we don't know what was in her message. So we don't know whether she has changed or he's falling into the same old bad habit. Maybe it doesn't matter.

Scott

Hi Scott,

Thanks for checking in. I was wondering if anyone would pick up on the vague reference to the message. My co-writers and I debated that a bit. May need more work.

Thanks

cool cruisin' song Colin.

Michael,

Thanks for checking it out!

Hey Colin,

Yeah, it's much more together than the first take, and especially the lead vocal which is more in time with the track.

I think it still needs a refrain here and there just to phrase it off, and the bv's are almost there..... a couple more just to give it some richness.

I won't comment on the drums, they're kinda random, but I guess they'll be replaced as things move along.

It's coming along nicely.

cheers, niteshift

This is a nice song. I think I would like to hear the lead guitar up a bit in between your vocals. It seems to slip away to far when you're singing.
Vic

Niteshift - thanks for coming back for another listen.

Vic - thanks for your comments, especially the lead guitar.

I will do the final mix when I get the piano player recorded.

Colin

Doug added the piano part and we remixed it a bit. All comments are welcome.

Picking Up Speed

Thanks!

Really nice Colin. The rhythm really grooves now. Nice backing vocals--that really stood out. Piano is sweet and in the pocket. Nice use of reverb/effects. Breakdown worked better for me in this mix.

I got nothin' but love!

Zeek

Colin...I didn't hear the original...just this remix after the keys. Gotta say, it's sounding pretty danged good ! The vocal harmonies are sweet! Liking it a lot! All the best...

Al

Hi Nearby-NeighborGuy!

This with-piano-added track sounds very Pleasant to Hear, Vocals work well, & the little Lyrical Plot-Twist has me doin' a Midnight U-Turn at the end of the Skyway Bridge..(Pretty dramatic!)..en route to a Happy Ending!

Well-Done...take a BOW all-involved, & Congrats, Colin!

Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

good song with a good beat, I like it

The re-mix sounds super good and the piano adds a lot. Glad to hear that you "tamed" that shaker a little! Solid feel on this re-mix, pretty dang good!

Hi Colin,

Yep, you fixed her up good! I don't hear anything at all wrong with it now...It sounds REALLY good.

Dottie

Zeek,

Thanks - that's what I like to hear!

Al,

Same for you!

Stan,

I reckon you know the geography better than most. Thanks.

Stanj3,

Thanks for stopping by. Glad you like it.

Kevin,

Thanks for the pointers. I do listen to what is being said!

Dottie,

OK thanks - that's what we were going for.

Seems like you're getting some good feedback here Colin. A word of caution about listening to anything that Mark Cockerill says though. He's from Scunthorpe, you know. Not to be trusted.

Steve,

I will keep that in mind about Scunthorpe, but he said nice stuff and I need all of that I can get.

You should come down to the Hideaway Cafe at 1756 Central on Thursday night and play a couple of songs. (or at least have a beer).

Hey Colin,
Actually it was just a good-natured prod to see if I could get a reaction from Mark. I actually sort-of know the lad; our paths crossed years ago back in old Blighty. I'm from Scunthorpe too, that's why I'm allowed to make disparaging comments like that!

Thanks for the invite to The Hideaway. It's shameful that I have yet to set foot in the place. It seems like the sort of place many of us songwriter types clamor for. I was thinking of doing my CD release party there. I really should call John and set something up. I really need to get out further afield than Home Depot don't I?

Colin,

Is this a song about drugs? Picking up "speed" in Miami? Very subliminal my friend!

I actually really like the forward moving lyrics on into the second chorus. Really good job here!

Music fits this song well also. I like the piano.

For what it is worth the double open hi hat distracted me in a few spots. I think it worked in the break and sort of worked ok in the chorus but during the verses seemed a little out of place to me. (I am not a drummer though!)

Good effort on an all around solid song!

Ricky

Ricky,

It is not about drugs. "Picking up speed" used to mean going faster and faster! But people can interpret any way they want.

Hey Colin,

It's really cool to drop by and see how a song is developing, and it sure is coming along fine.

Everything just sounds better. Better, more focused vocals, real nice complementary bv's, and the piano is fitting in well.

So, random thoughts..... keep or sweep.....

* I think the BPM has picked up, but that may be because it's just sitting better.
* Lead vocals sit a lot better
* Piano fits really well, but needs to be EQ'd to give it presence, ... maybe give it a notch at about 1k.
* Seperate and pan the piano from the guitar noodling, each play some good phrasing, but they're not seperated
* I'd still suggest a refrain between the vs and the ch's
* It's time for arrangement. Pick out the best instrumental backing parts, and use them as a counter to the lead vocal
* I won't mention the drums. I'd re-phrase them last, depending upon the musical arrangement

Did I say I like this song ? LOL

Yeah, with a bit of work, I reckon it'll come out just fine.

cheers, niteshift

Hey Colin, there's a lot to like here. Depends on if you want to go more commercial or not. "Commercial", what a dirty word. Okay, if going the commercial route, I'd keep the chorus melody to the first four lines (repeating it):

"Picking up speed
Picking up speed
There’s a smoother road ahead
Time to plant another seed"

That part is very catchy and memorable. When it doesn't come back with a repeat of "picking up speed" it loses the momentum (IMO).

The verse melody works well. The bridge I would drop altogether (to shorten the song).

Now if you're going the non-commercial route, it's fine the way it is.

Singing is right-on-the-money. Instrumentation spot on. Piano addition works well in the instrumental. Can't hear it adding much in the backing parts. Maybe find a different pan location.

Best, John

Colin,

Sorry i was just kidding about the drugs. Should have put a smiley face or something!!!

Ricky

Really well done Colin and his friends.
Wonderful lyrics and the piano carry's it along perfectly.

Love your vocals as well.