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This was shot on a Blackberry phone at my dining room table last summer. It just resurfaced.
THIS AIN'T NO BEER GUT
(Kurt Fortmeyer)
I’ve been called “so round, so firm, so fully packed”
Yeah I’m full-figured and a little bit bigger than that
This may not be the body you’ve been dreaming of
But on the internet they call this “more to love”

This ain’t no beer gut it’s a fuel tank for a sex machine
Stick around and you’ll find out just what I mean
I can give you love like you ain’t ever seen
This ain’t no beer gut it’s a fuel tank for a sex machine

There ain’t nothing ‘bout me that you would call mild and meek
And I know you like your partners to be slim and sleek
But that’ll change when you get a load of my physique
And I lay it on you clean into next week

This ain’t no beer gut it’s a fuel tank for a sex machine
Stick around and you’ll find out just what I mean
I can give you love like you ain’t ever seen
This ain’t no beer gut it’s a fuel tank for a sex machine

I don’t run out of gas and I’d suggest you love and learn
There’s guys like me got a lot of calories to burn

This ain’t no beer gut it’s a fuel tank for a sex machine
Stick around and you’ll find out just what I mean
I can give you love like you ain’t ever seen
This ain’t no beer gut it’s a fuel tank for a sex machine
This ain’t no beer gut it’s a fuel tank for a sex machine

HiYa Pro-Bro Kurt!

Ya Lookin'/Soundin' Good there..(Tho currently I got Bad Juju on my laptop for runnin' Video/tried downloadin' Latest Adobe Flash Version TWICE this AM/did so, but gettin' it to RUN? Nope!) So..I enjoyed watchin' the first 3-4 Seconds (Repeatedly) before headin' back to check out Your Lyrics!

"I never run outta gas, why don't ya love & learn/
Hefty Guys-Like-Me got Cal-o-ries...to-burn~"

Top-O'-My Head OUTRO Afterthought:

"Here's a Lot MORE KING t'play WITH Your QUEEN/
This Ain't No Beer-Gut, It's High-Octane-in' a Sex Machine!"

KOS..Congrats on what's SURE to be a Best-Seller! Great Fun (AND..Some Words of Wisdom, too..What a Treat!)

Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Hi Stan,
Thanks for checking it out.
It's too bad you can't hear it, because the lines make way more sense when you hear the phrasing (one reason I don't bother with lyrics-only critiquing) and inflections.
This is a goofy little singalong for fun. Folks either like it or they don't.
Kurt

P.S. I don't know that I'd be singing about playing with "queens"...

Hi Kurt,
I can't hear it because I'm at work, but I can get the jest of it... goofy, fun stuff. You might even get a full-figured gal to sing it ... like "Rockin' the Beer Gut".

Cheryl,
I hadn't even thought about having a girl sing this. I guess it just seemed so "guy" to me that it never crossed my mind, but you are absolutely correct. With a minor lyric tweak and a "full-bodied" singer with the right attitude, this could be a lot more fun than it already is.
Thanks,
Kurt

Hi Kurt,

THIS IS TOTAL ENTERTAINMENT, ha ha....real cool performance.

Thanks for the smiles.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin,
That's what it was meant for...nothing "heavy" about it.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to check it out.
Kurt