JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Creative Challenge Forum Track Writing #1 A Songwriting Exercise and Challenge

In regards to my " A Better Look At How Pop Music Is Made"
thread on the General Board. I'm posting this here as well.

Here is a track from my past.... It's old but like much of popular music today it is VERY repetitious. And the challenge becomes different in that you need more over very little. Forces you to do certain things in being creative and MOST important CATCHY over the same piece of music. And working in a different style and off of someone else's music.

I'll give you a head start on it by leaving in one line & hook.
"Never wanna let you go"

Then after wards I'll play you what I had. I'll improvise more incentives for you as we go along.... And I'll explain a little about the piece the song and we'll get some perspective.

Track Write #1© 2:00
http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=10116400&q=hi&newref=1

You need to come up with melodies and or lyrics.... I'll leave it up for a few days.[/b]

Try to record yourself over it and let us hear what you come up with. It's down loadable and The recording is copy written & protected. If you have melodies but not set on lyrics sing ANYTHING and let us know that.
If you have lyrics only same thing.

HAVE fun & good luck....

Mike

Okay already have curve balls to throw at ya lol

#1 - I'll pull it down in few days with no specific deadline. Even when someone sends you a track like this in the business they are usually kind enough to give a deadline, BUT sometimes it's whatever gets to them first. And you MISS the chance. So the pressure is on you. We want it ASAP

Mike, I listened to your track twice. I wouldn't have any idea how to write a melody or lyric to this kind of track. Any thing more than a guitar in my hands and maybe a drum beat and I am totally lost.

Good luck with this.

Hi Dan

Thanks for checking it out... This is how many chart writers work
not that being a chart writer makes you awesome or anything
It's been like this for a long time now Twenty Years.
So it's a good thing to understand for writers.

Mike

HIDee Bro Sub.

I've listened a half hour, had a LOT of fun with it (Since it's prolly NOT what you'd wanted, Storyline-Wise..AND it's more of a Men-Without-Hats Vocaled Rap Piece, laid-TIGHT On Toppa Your Melody & Refrains.) But..heh.."It's Different"...

INTRO Strings {I'M Never Gonna Let You Go/Never Gonna Let You Go}
Lord Have Mercy, I'm Perplexed/
That Girl of Mine sure LOVES to Text/
{I'm Never Gonna Let Your Go/Never Gonna Let You Go}
When I'm Relaxin' With My Boys/
My Cell Lights UP, What IS This Noise?

My Ears are Ringing/
She Does Her Thinging/
Lord Is SHE Clinging (as)/
She Clings to ME..Me..Me..{Echoed & Faded}

I Need Some Freedom/
Whole Lot Less-Tedium/
I Wish she'd heed Some:/
My Advice Is SO Free..ee..ee {Ed & F'd}

We're Too MUCH-Together/
I'M Too-Much TETHERED/
(She) Wants Me To Bed Her/
PERPETUALLY/ {Reverbed, BIGTIME}

But I'm a Free-Bird/
Oh, Say, Can You See, Bird/
Free IS a BIG Word {I'm Never Gonna Let You Go}
When You're Talkin' to Me {I'm Never Gonna Let You Go}

I Used to Crave Her/
NOW She Wants Me 'Enslave Her/
"Drag Her Back to My Cave-Her?"/{I'm Never Gonna Let You Go}
It AIN'T GONNA BE/ {Never Gonna Let You Go}

I'm On-My-OWN-Some/
I NEED Some "Lonesome"/
MY Needs Have GROWN SOME/{I'm Never Gonna Let You Go}
Give Me Some "Solitary" {Never Gonna Let You Go}

(GO..GO..GO..GO...+ Male Background Voices..}

FREEDOM?

{Never Gonna Let You Go...etc...}

You Just GOTTA BABE...Babe..Babe...(R'd & F'D}

{Never Gonna Let You Go/Repeated/Faded-Out}

Lyrics-supplied (C) 2011 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

Hi Stan

Very cute! Nice!

"She loves to text"

Now maybe someone else can collab with you and sing it.

Thanks
Mike

Hi Mike

I am unable to listen to this at the mo but will do soon. But wouldn't this be better placed on the Creative Challenge Forum ?

Cheers

Nige

HiYa Again, Amigo!

I can sing it..(on Cassette..heh..I'm am Oldie/have yet to part with the $50 for the CD Tutorial that'll enable me to use the TEAC 02CF Rig a chum gave me..that'll escort me kicking-&-screaming into the Digital Realm.) PM me with an addy to send it to...& thar ya be, Buddy! (You'll have to add The Effects...IF it passes The Audition!)

Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Ol' Stan

O.k.. I'll embarass myself first. Not really my style, but here's my version. I can't really sing, so if anyone wants to work with what I have and rewrite or resing, have at it.

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10100026

We've got tonight,
To get this right.
I won't let you go.

CHORUS PART (written below)

You've got class and style,
Slide across the floor 'til you're by my side,
You wear that sexy smile,
Send a message with one look from your eyes.
Keep my head spinnin',
Like this cd's been,
There's so many things,
That you do to me.
You're so damn smooth,
With the purse of your lips got me bittin' back my tongue,
Watchin' your body move,
Groove to the rhythm 'til we see the morning sun.

CHORUS PART
Got my hands on your hip,
As we dip,
I want you to know, baby.
Are you feeling this girl,
You're rockin' my world,
I want you to know, baby.

We've got tonight,
To get this right.

CH PART-(repeat)

"The road without love is a desert...and I thirst."




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUtieG_DjZA



Hey Mike...great project... superb music!! Had a lot of fun with it. It might take you about ten minutes to buffer the song...but it's worth a listen. Thanks for the challenge and the R+B experience. ~~~~~MFB III





http://hubpages.com/u/2441609.jpg


Epiphany !



This old high----way’s so much
lower without you,
chasing fame in every town
I’m passing through,
In stale hotels and motels,
wishing I was home,
Back with the only other
love I’ve ever known….

I was setting up
my show in Chicago…
With another twenty gigs
or so to go….
When I heard those last words
you whispered to me,
Echoing through my amps,
in a painful memory…

Never gonna let you go…never ever gonna let you go.

I saw a lady in a Seattle café,
I thought for sure..
you’d come to town to hear me play,
I rose to greet you,
my heart shaking off it’s blues,
until I saw her face
and I knew it wasn’t you.


I’m done with lonely places,
empty faces in the crowd,
Downing whiskey and beer chasers
trying to get plowed,
I need you more than fame,
I’ve known it all along
the next tune that I play
will be our wedding song.

Never gonna let you go…never ever gonna let you go.

Back in your arms again
I’ve packed up my guitar,
I’ll stay at home and
write my songs till I am a star,
Let someone else perform them,
I’ve got better things to do,
Collecting royalties,
lost in the sweet kingdom of you……

Never gonna let you go…never ever gonna let you go…..

Never gonna let you go…never ever gonna let you go…..

Never gonna let you go…never ever gonna let you go…..

Never gonna let you go…never ever gonna let you go…..


Lyrics -MFB III Productions
ArtWhimsically Yours Studio.







"A highway to emptiness, on a turn for the worst."

Hey m, where's your song, brother. All I got was a photo...

Hey Coalminer....love the hook ...we got tonight to get it right...and the funk melody as well. it's a difficult track but
it's got style. ~~~MFB III

Hey hey! Dan

That was very good made me smile.... had the right vibe fit
today, with that talk singing style. I enjoyed it and felt it.

Lots most actually of the words fit great and work... these songs are not about other kinds of lyrics they are simple to the point relation ship with sex in the mix....

The lyric needs to fit more than it needs to be anything else.
And you did great on all ends and quickly too...

Nice work

Thanks
Mike

Hey MFB

I LOVE what you did with the music, the editing and adding.
The arrangement was very good.. and you did a nice job phrasing and with the words you wrote.

The lyric doesn't fit the genre, but still you did a nice job with it.

Thanks
Mike

Hey Mike
thanks for the challenge. Good luck with it~~~
MFB III

I liked how you did a little remix on the tune. I thought of that, but didn't want to mess with the integrity of the song.
I like the lyrics, but I think for the style, especially in a current market, that they need to elude to sex or 'the club' or something along those lines. Kicking back and having fun and not worrying about tomorrow because all that matters is that girls' body right now.
I could be wrong, but that seems to be the real pop stuff right now. I went to a club the other night. Granted, I stayed at the bar, milking a $7 beer, but I really wanted to hear the music. And I was surprised at how much electronica has wiggled it's way into hip-hop and dance.

Hey Mike, you wanted hot and sexy.....a more current genre, well here ya go....LOL -Thanks again for the challenge. the best part is there is no waiting on the download, it's a quickie to view...Yay!!!-MFB III


photo-(C)-MFB III Productions


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ao_DWsEkow

Lyrics-

Inseperable.

Spoken-

Hey girl, you know I love it
when you hold me like this
our eyes half closed as we
contemplate the bliss,
That finger-painted pleasure
from your fingertips,
The way you whisper to me,…
just before we kiss….........

Chorus-

Never gonna let you go…
never ever gonna let you go.

vocals-

We both were celebrating,
dancing at the bar,
You winked at me and then
we headed for the car,
I am a chaser to your
whiskey of desire,
Intoxicated ….now it‘s
time to stoke the fire….…..

Never gonna let you go…
never ever gonna let you go….

Our clothes lie scattered
all across the bedroom floor
They mark a pathway to
the passion we’ll explore.
Your hips an arched cathedral
begging me for more,
I bend to worship you
in ways that you adore.

Obsessed we reach that moment,
bodies tightly pressed,
Against the only softness
known to harden flesh,
Wrapped in your warm embrace,
I gaze into your eyes,
Lost in the rhythm of
your s w e e t soprano sighs….


Never gonna let you go…
never ever gonna let you go….
Never gonna let you go…
never ever gonna let you go….

Later on we’ll snuggle…ooohh ohhhohh…
lost in the afterglow…..

Never gonna let you go…
never ever gonna let you go…
Never gonna let you go…
never ever gonna let you go….

Music and insrumental arrangements
courtesy of-Mike Caro Substation

Vocal and lyric by MFB III Productions
ArtWhimsically Yours Studio





Photo-(C)-MFB Productions

Hey D--I can do the sex handles on a song.....In fact I just posted a live one.....and you're right on the honey! Nobody wants story content or message, they basically want grunts and groans and four letter words like love...but with an f ring to it.. LOL-
I still left some story and a sizzling message in this one. You can teach an old dog new tricks, but he's still gonna bury his bones in familiar ground..LOL~~~MFB III-

Thanks for the listen...I hope you got my tabs on
"Sweet Kindling"...looking forward to some of your magic on that song.

Hi Mike...I treated this as a challenge so I set myself some obstacles in the spirit that Mike meant when he posted this challenge.

1. Lyrics had to be simplistic hot and sexy cheezy and cliche ridden.

2. I could only work with my laptop....and free programs including recording only with the built in mic.

3. I would only do one take.

4. I allowed 1 hour for the whole process.

So here is the result recorded on Audacity with the inbuilt mic on my laptop. I added some fx to vocals and double tracked Mike's original track so I could add fx in a non destructive way.
I used reverb, flangers, compressors and filters, plus some EQ and bass enhancement on his original track and a bit of plate and reverb on the vocals. The lyrics were scribbled in a couple of minutes and some ad libs were made up as I went. So I apologise in advance for the rough nature of this track.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=687727&songID=10104553

Never gonna let you go

OOHH OOOH BABY.
When you look into my eyes
You got me hypnotised

This night is gonna last forever
You could not prise me offa you with a lever
Gonna give you my love
Gonna take you to the edge
Time is on our side
So what’s your pleasure?

When you do what you do to me
You give me ecstasy That’s my pleasure
Never gonna let you go never gonna give it up
Gonna love you fast and slow
Forever……..and that’s a very long time.

Never gonna let you go never gonna give you up.

Hey much closer better fit MFB, Your too much movies,pictires two versions already, what a worker.

Even though the vocal or performance would not count at this stage of course it's still wild and fun to hear you guys singing and rapping along. Your voice actually fit well on "Never gonna let you go part" The rest had a literary theater play vibe going on.

Lots of nifty lines and descriptions, better and more fitting than last version. The main drawback would be lack of hooks, which is a biggie for this type of thing.

Thanks
Mike

Hey Jim

You did a nice job for doing this so fast.

Naturally all the aspects would need some re-working I know it was a first draft, but your best closet to target aspect was in some of the melody/phrasing work.

If it were me and on the spot working I would take, try and keep some of your add libs. Some nice libs there for the singer to use.

Thanks

Obviously locking in a solid melody and lyrics does require thought and work. It is a BIG advantage to be working with the singer so you can hear it back right away and not get discouraged by your own voice not fitting.

Thanks to everybody who participated in this and the other thread about pop music. Maybe someone else will straggle in later.

I'll post what I had here and the goings on of this tune. I had some other cool challenge maybe I'll post it but with so few involved maybe I'll skip it and just practice here some more at 4:55 am

Well! I really wanted to at least hear the track, but when I click, a page comes up that says:
no such song.
Have you taken it down Mike?

Hi

Yes, it was only up for a few days, I also wanted to give it the feel of how these things actually go. There's a producer with a track he's shopping to a major artist and the opportunity goes away very quickly... So not only do you have to be good but also quick.

Thanks
Mike

Ah your right, I forgot! Should of done that, moving it over there now... I'll re-post the file as well.

Thanks
Mike

Hi Mike,

I think I missed this challenge. I'm lyric only and would need someone to want to sing and do music, but this is what I hear lyric/style wise to your track, and the lyric may also need rearrainged a bit, track writing is hard for a lyric first person.


Feelings linger on....I can't let you go..

Ambrosia flows
In places we go
Never gonna let you go, never ever gonna let you go
You drop my robe
Take me into your night
Never gonna let you go, never ever gonna let you go

My body throbs
I can't get enough
My lips quiver
For taste of your love
Warm moist sweat
The touch of your tease
Tender kisses
Wet and heated

Man after my heart
Eager to please
Fill my wildest thoughts
My deepest need
Lost outside myself
I can't let go
Nectar of our love
Ambrosia flows

My body trembles
In sweet release
Never gonna let you go, never ever gonna let you go
I can't let you go
Drippin' honey is sweet
Never gonna let you go, never ever gonna let you go

Time will stop at dawn
Cause I can't let you go
Never gonna let you go, never ever gonna let you go
Feelings linger on
Lost in after glow
Never gonna let you go, never ever gonna let you go



Never gonna let you go, never ever gonna let you go

Never gonna let you go, never ever gonna let you go

Hi

Thanks for joining in... Actually the lyric only is fine the music is what your heard, done already and singing & melody is but an option.

The lyric you have are well crafted and have some "tasty" words.
LOts are workable some a little more so on the side of poetry then pop of this genre. Ambrosia & nectar of our love, Take me into your night"...

You did a good job rhythm wise it lays out easy to sing in my head...

This was a strong one

My body throbs
I can't get enough
My lips quiver
For taste of your love
Warm moist sweat
The touch of your tease
Tender kisses
Wet and heated

Thanks again

Mike

Hey I remember seeing this a long time ago browsing the site.
Here's my take! Just wish it was longer. I had a blast with it!

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11466475

Never Wanna Let You Go

You got more moves than the NBA
Your own dance style all I gotta say is...
"where do you get it from?"
"where do you get it from?"

You got more grooves than a 45
shake that booty every man alive says
"where do you get it from?"
"where do you get it from?"

You say you're tryna wriggle out
You say you're tryna wriggle out
of these hard times
but girl you make me feel good
only a fool would...
let you go

Hey December

These lyrics were the most fitting and closest overall so far, nice job man.

Mike

LoL thanks Mike.

To be honest, I spat the lyrics out in one or two minutes. I thought the melody was stronger. As which is usually the case(for me anyway) Once you have a track, a groove and an attitude, the lyrics write themselves.

I wanted to make use of the background singers and make it seem as if they were a real part of the song.

So, being everything was done already, I cant claim much ownership.

Cool track, you really can build on the same muscial phrase a thousand ways. I thought I built it pretty well.

fun exersise!

Your welcome

The melody and more so the phrasing was good. The background vocal was part of the final record. This song which was written by three of us, the producer,the singer and myself was the flip side of a hit song. Unfortunately it was passed the days of 45's so I made no money

Your approach was the most contemporary, you said you didn't put a lot of thought into the lyrics, hello contemporary lol
But that's that's the right approach you don't want to hear a track like this and think about the words, you just want to re-act to the trac and the lyric in a playful way. Sex, street talk, youthful things and some uniqueness with lines and ideas.

That's a shame. But it never ceases to amaze me how little money somebody can make writing a hit song.

When you think about the odds of having a hit song are probably that of a lottery, the payoff is almost embarrassingly bad. Somebody once told me a hit songwriter can make 50 to 100,000 for a standard hit. Imagine a song being on the radio and sheet music being written up, and the writer not only gets peanuts, his name is not even known for it.

Only thing I can say is that, you were involved with a hit song, not many can ever say that.

If I can crank out a hit, I'd like the money, but that would be a decent consolation. Hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people liked your song. Not too shabby!

Yes, and hits are a funny thing for many reasons like hit's and quality music/songs are not always the same.

Having a hit and getting a hit are too completely different things.

A song without exposure is NEVER a hit, so how can it NOT be about exposure?

Yeah money means spit to me, I have a ripped flannel shirt on that I could replace with $5 bucks, yet I don't. If I had 20 million dollars I would still be wearing this shirt. I'd still be doing the exact same thing I have always done which is make music with the same approach as day one, total love, hard work and commitment.

Your HEALTH is ALL that matters, and the health of the people you know & love.
The only way to understand that fully is to struggle with it.

A hit for me was alot about PRIDE! I would be proud to touch so many people with my feeling's and my work. I would be proud to accomplish a goal that I set for myself in my lifetime.
I would be thrilled and very proud to take the rewards from it and help those I love and know who need some help.
And the simple look Ma I did it, see it was worth all the time & sacrifice. NOW somebody else in my family line can also may have a chance and think this way... a new tradition.

Health is our greatest wealth. U'd be quite surprised what Ive gone through health wise.

Medicine has failed most people. Were great for emergency and cosmetic surgery. If I got in accident there's not other place id rather be than a hospital er room.

But for chronic illness they dont do much for us.

ie... Blood Pressure pills.

Your pressure goes up, then they sign you up for a lifetime of pills?

If you're a doctor would you rather have a patient come in for a cold or high blood pressure? The cold goes away in a week, that patient dont come back.

Blood Pressure gives you a patient for life, and the pharmacy does well too.

They could cure blood pressure so easily if they really wanted to. 90 percent of the time if you lose weight, exercise and eat right, your pressure will go down by itself.

But it's no wonder everybody is sick. As the commercial says "America runs on Duncan"

We eat donuts and coffee for breakfast, we dont exercise, we processed foods, dont eat veggies and fruit.

Then we come home from work eat a steak, and then go right to bed!

Many illnesses are unavoidable but mostly everything can be helped by a good diet and lifestyle.

I know this, and I still like my junk food!