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by Fdemetrio - 04/25/24 01:36 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/24/24 10:25 AM
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by Sunset Poet - 04/24/24 08:09 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 10:08 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 12:41 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/22/24 11:04 AM
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by Rob B. - 04/21/24 08:40 PM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/20/24 03:22 PM
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Joined: Nov 2010
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I've been writing 'emotional' stuff like this for a few weeks now. I'm not intending to, it's just keeps finding its way out!!
"Lost Little Girl"
V1 She can't hide the sorrow, in her eyes they betray the emptiness, she feels inside. Blue eyes reflect the distance... that she stares in to, And I know how much it hurts her 'cause I have been there too.
V2 She tries to put a brave face, on it all trying every day to break, her prison walls. Taking one step forward... tumbling two steps back, And I know how much it hurts her when she tries to face the facts
Chorus How a flower fades if it doesn't find the light. When a songbird falls to silence at the dusk of every night. Like a lost little girl she reaches for my hand, She needs me to find her, She knows I understand
V3 She knows I can only take her, so far and the strength to take that final step comes from in her heart. Knowing where she's going, unsure of what she'll see And I know that it will hurt her 'cause she knows she's hurting me.
Chorus
Bridge Oh, on some days she hates me but she'll never forsake me. Like a lost little girl she's alone in her world she'll never give to me completely...
Chorus
Copyright Gary Parr 2010 all rights reserved
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Gary,
I like it. Just not sure why she is feeling empty and alone. I want to feel for the subject in the song but I really don't know much about her, you know? Expand for the reader a little. Over all a very nice start. Rod
Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
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Hey Gary,
You know I like this a lot but Rod does make a valid point:) None the less it's full of emotion and I can't help but love it:)
Dottie
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Hi Gary,
Hey I like the start but I have to agree with Rod and Dottie. AS I went thru the song I kept asking myself--what is the cause of the sorrow, what happened. I kept waiting for that AHHH factor. Actually if you could work in more info into the bridge--it could be a great buildup to that point and then a great release in the bridge. Just a thought. You've got the emotion there--just give us a little more AHHH. Take care, Roger
Roger Sosnowski The happiest people in life are those involved in music
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My original concept was that she could be sad for whatever reason YOU wanted....different people find sadness in different situations, and the focus was that the effect of the sadness likened her to a little girl. I was just writing down observations that were in my head thanks all Gary
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Hey Gary! For lyrics that were just observations in your head, you did a great job! Just popping in to say I liked these lyrics, definitely a lot of emotion in this one. It really reminded me of times when I have felt sad and lost like the subject of this song, and my husband has had to hold my hand and help me through it. This certainly made me feel something. I like that the song is not too specific. Like you said, different people are sad for different reasons, and I think with a universal emotion like this, many people can relate to it. I know I can. Just my two cents. Nice job!
Last edited by Ann Feld; 12/08/10 03:21 AM.
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Gary,
I'm with Ann, I like those unspecifics! And all that emotion.
Great writting too.
Geneva
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...and what a well received two cents they were...thank you! Gary
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