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I’ve always struggled with depression but I always managed to escape it for the most part until
the last few years. Now it’s harder to escape.

A year and a half ago a doctor told me they ususally give someone with one condition I have
about 5 years. Another doctor said I’d probably go to sleep one night and just not wake up. I
can live with that–I can even connect it to a great song–The Gambler: “The best that you can
hope for is to die in your sleep.”

I don’t have kids and that saddens me but I see friends with kids who put their parents through
hell or go through hell themselves. I’m not sure I could deal with some of that. I don’t have a
wife but I’ve been through a broken heart. It about killed me back in 91. I learned long ago the
minute you start to love someone is the minute you could fall apart if you lose them. So the
answer is not to fall in love. Get as close as you can but don’t fall. Sometimes it works better
than others and even when it works well you wind up lonely.

The other day I went to the doctor and he took a test. I’m so tired of tests that don’t yield much
in the way of results. This morning I went out and was chewing gum when all of a sudden I bit
down on something like a rock. It was one of my fillings. Then I got home and the doctor had
left a message about the tests. One came back negative and we have to do what I’ve been
dreading doing.

Right now my wrist is hurting badly so I can’t strum a guitar like I used to when I needed to deal
with stress. But I have a friend who always one of two places: a wheelchair or a bed. She can’t
use her hand to even hold a guitar.

And my sister....she was told about six weeks ago she had cancer and they needed to start chemo.
So this surgeon put in a IV port or something. She was supposed to be back at work in three
weeks. But when he put the port in it messed up her arm. So after talking with the cancer
doctor, they decided to send her to a new surgeon. He said the first doctor made the first doctor
made several mistakes when he put the port in. He took the port out and put in another one on
what he said was the correct side of the body. She still can’t use her arm. She may never be able
to use her arm again. And the first doctor will at some point expect to be paid. An attorney will
soon be called but money can’t replace the freedom of using your arm. So right now she’s got
cancer and a bum arm and her sick leave is gone. I hate my job but thank God I have it.

Today though I am going to a beach. I want to see the water even if I don’t get in it. The
weather is colder than I wish it was and I hate to spend money and I hate to go with my filling just
having fallen out an hour ago and I feel guilty because of my sister who I invited to go but I’m
going. I’m going to go to the beach and I’m going to stare at starry skies and hopefully see some
falling stars. I don’t know why but I have a real bad desire to see some falling stars.

Peace be with you.

One more thing.

I knew a few years ago I probably would not make 60 which for me is still 6 years away. When I
accepted that I would tell some people “I’m in my last decade.” I didn’t just walk up and tell
them that out of the blue, it came as a progression of a discussion. They would ususally try to
convince me not to feel that way, to fight, no one knows for sure, and don’t give up. This
bothered me. I didn’t necessarily want them to tell me by saying “yes you’re gonna die there is no
hope, you’ll never smile again” but I do wish they’d have said, “wow, I wish you the best.” I
mean, acceptance freed me up. I didn’t have to worry about a lot of things anymore. It was a
freeing experience. Like the guy in “Live Like You Were Dying,” I was able to get loose from
some constraints, which destressed me, energized me, and gave me strength and hope. Now to
the beach!

I sincerely wish I could help Mike; I've just read this and wondered what treatments they've tried.

Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) is the most common form of vertigo and is characterized by sudden episodes of dizziness brought on by movement.

Here's what you need to know about BPPV.

1. BPPV is caused by a confusion of signals to the brain.
The vestibular apparatus, a series of canals located inside the ear, includes a structure that contains tiny crystals of calcium carbonate. These crystals help the body detect gravity, tilting and speed changes in linear motions like stopping and starting at a traffic light. BPPV occurs when some of the crystals escape from their normal chamber and get into one or more of the canals. "When you move your head, the fluid in the canals moves as usual, but when you stop, if the escaped crystals are still moving in one ear, they will continue to stimulate the canal, creating a clash of signals to the brain," explains Kathleen Shortt, a physiotherapist who specializes in vertigo at LifeMark Physiotherapy in Toronto.



BPPV can be diagnosed and successfully treated.
To determine which side of the brain is responsible, a physiotherapist has the person wear special goggles that simulate darkness and track eye movement. The direction in which his or her eyes move indicates which ear canal is involved.

Once the affected side has been identified, a physiotherapist who specializes in BPPV can successfully treat the condition. The most common treatment, called the Epley Manoeuvre, involves rotating the patient's head and body through four specific movements at differing speeds, each held for about 30 seconds. The patient's head and body are manipulated so that the dislodged crystals are moved along the canal and drop back into the correct chamber of the inner ear. Near the end of the Epley Manoeuvre, some patients feel a falling sensation. The vertigo symptoms can resolve quite quickly after this, but the feeling of being a bit "off" may persist for a while after, says Shortt. The treatment is 98.4 per cent effective after three treatments, if required, says Shortt.

What are you using as a teaching guide? I have that drum pad, maybe that is something I could play around with. I don't expect to get any good, but a few rudiments can't hurt.

Kevin

Mike , have any of the doctors you`ve met done this to you

Hi Caroline

You got it! right on the mark.

Sorry to those I haven't directly responded to or missed. I came down yesterday morning sat down started to type. Got the tilts but ignored them until I started swirling. Then I couldn't get up of the chair.

So I crawled up two flights of stairs, took a Bonine pill (dramamine) which just burns you right out but stops nausea,
Laid on the floor than in the reclining chair for the next 9 hours straight, but never fell alseep.

Aside from getting some water, food and use of the bathroom the entire day & night was spent off my feet. AGAIN!!!!
This waste of time of life frustrates me too no end... Then I'll see something on TV like the Paris Hilton show where she's looking for a BFF Best Friend Forever in England.

And I can't help but KNOW how much thought, time and effort is put into this moronic show. How there are people thinking about it and working on it constantly. Yet I can't get ONE doctor in all these years to even think about helping me whatsoever.
Make ONE suggestion!

And more importantly others who are worse, and situations that are bleak.

Good Stuff Lin

I started taking some notes for a bio kinda book, I guess not having children may make you want to leave something of yourself behind for somebody (who knows who) to read. I dedicated & bet my lifetime that it would be a song that would do that for me. That is a lost bet. I may have had children I think if not for this condition/problem, I could tell years ago that it wasn't going away and was getting worse then losing the job and all medical coverage sealed the deal on children.

But we will save you a slice

My little bio starts out with this.....

too be continued!

Kev

I never had the internet in the same room as my equipment now that I do and I can NEVER leave to go anywhere it seems I'm taking full advantage....

Here's a link to youtube and the 40 rudiments.
I'm up to #21 But I'm having a difficult time with Flams when having to alternate them.

I can not tell you how much I improved in just 4 weeks. My hands feel like they don't even belong to me....

Now if I can just do that for the rest of me lol


Here's the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v3061FsAX0

Sub, call me a nut, but get two of these
https://www.buyirenew.com/Default.aspx?mid=844474

My daughter has severe balance problems after her heart attack, we put one on each of her wrists, next day you could visibly see a difference in her balance. She'll tell you herself. Now the difference is slight, but enough to keep her from falling backwards. She can catch herself now.

Hi

There's the initial problem then starts the long list of problems it causes, a snow ball effect.
Sorry to see you having so many.
As for falling in love, I can't imagine life without it. I've done it five times and it was priceless.

Hi and thanks!

I have looked into this many years ago, naturally.
See the biggest problem I have is getting help from ANY doctor.

Couldn't get 9 ENT's to tell me or suggest it was an inner ear problem.
And I couldn't get 9 Neurologists to tell me or suggest it was a spinal issue.
The ENT's go back to 1999 for me. And the first Neurologists was in 1997.

YET I will go seek out those who deal with Balance Disorders.
I once called the balance center of New Jersey and spoke with a woman who is well known for treating vertigo issues.
We spoke for about 10 minutes or so, she listened to my brief descriptions symptoms, what makes me better and worse...

She then said " Mike I'll save you the six hundred dollar visit and the trip out here, you have a spinal problem. I see people with vertigo every single day, and the issue is with your spine"

My last MRI had the Middle Ear included and no comment of a problem with it was mentioned by the Neurologist at NYU or this last one. Not sure the last guy even looked at it though.
STILL - I want this ear or middle ear thing RULED out or PROVEN once and for all. I mean Jesus how much and how long does it take for at least that answer.

I WANT an actual MRI/Xray of both ears as well, NEVER had it.
How could it hurt? My sinuses are a mess as are my teeth, they say it shouldn't make that much a difference, but i do not rule them out especially the sinuses.
Did you know I'm the ONLY one who suggested getting the MRI's of the C Spine T Spine and the Middle Ear!!!
That's how little the doctors cared!

Jan as this procedure below as well. I've known about it for a while. Maybe I'll just have it done and then say well I did that already and check it off the list.

Thanks

Must seek out a new Dentist this week for troubled teeth multiple troubles, Should be a real blast with CONSTANT vertigo issues and a pulvarized non stop back & neck pain.
And for some extra fun, I have to get there and oh yeah pay with NO INSURANCE!!! The last time I saw the regular dentist he said I need ten grand worth of work that was years ago already wonder what the price will be now,

Oh well goodbye to the rest of the teeth, Boy it's hard being in your 40's

Thanks
MIke

Hi Jan

We were just talking about this above, also I rad about many many years ago.

Have not been able to get any proof or REAL suggestion that my inner ear is the problem, I think it's my spine but THEY say no.
But THEY say nothing else. offer no other reasons.

So I'm not ruling out the inner ear but have seeked out Balance disorders specialists. NO more Neurologists for me...
The problem is I cant see him until January, that's BS

I'll find another in the mean time or push to get it moved up.
Can't wait four months more, I don't know how I made it this far. I'm stressed about going to a dentist with no money, in need of much work and vertigo.
They say STRESS brings this stuff on more WELL I say get rid of it so I'm not so stressed out. Or at least tell me WHY I have it....

You would think I was nuts, but ask John Daubert he's one of my witness's in the doctors offices...

Thanks Jan I may try that yet just to check it off the list.
I've been reluctant to do any more neck manipulation considering the damage to my cervical spine (neck) and the fact that it's in pain & burning 75% of my day.

Thanks
Mike

Mike, are you Italian????

glyn

100%

Mike, this might seem like a ridiculous question, but have you applied for Medicaid? Or any financial "sliding scale" rate? A lot of hospitals here in Cincinnati operate that way. As far as your teeth, have you considered going to a dental college? It takes a lot longer, but it's free. If you explain to them your vertigo issues, they might be able to accomodate you.

This is such a bizarre set of circumstances, you actually need to be in a study of some kind, to get any attention paid to you. I apologize if you already went that route. The symptoms you've described, I've never heard of before, especially that "quick sand sinking feeling". It's unthinkable to me that some doctor doesn't want to just take you under his or her wing, just if nothing else, because of the uniqueness and severity of your problem.

Have you googled any message boards of people with a similar problem? Again, I apologize if you already have, just trying to help. I hate visualizing you in this situation, it's just so AWFUL! I can't believe these doctors are so non-chalant about it! This needs attention drawn to it in a really big way. Hell, I'd go on Oprah if I were you or whatever! It's ridiculous that you have to continue to suffer and none of those doctors cares enough to stick with it and solve the problem!

Here's what I found that Mike is applying for:
http://rarediseases.info.nih.gov/Resources.aspx?PageID=31

Maybe think of ways to have some sort of petition to present to them, in addition to the medical info Mike is providing. Like anything else, the more that knock at the door, the more attention there could be from the other side.

Mike/John,

Let me know if there is anything I can do to assist Mike in this process. Mike, I can make calls, etc. and harass people for you. You know I will do it. Whatever you need, you know where to find me.

Hi Mike,

Just brainstorming for my dear friend. Don't want to sound trite, but I read so much about the importance of nutrition in one's health. It is more significant than most of us even realize. All those years of our wonderful moms saying "eat your vegetables" they probably never realized just how much love they were showing.

More to the point. There are certain foods/chemicals that actually, factually (had to get a rhyme in here somewhere, now I can breathe) bring on or add to vertigo, especially those found in diet foods/sodas. I'm hoping your diet does not include any of those artificial sweetners, Nutrasweet, Sweet and Low, Equal and our newest member to the group Splenda. Isn't it interesting how those pretty pastel packets sit on every restaurant table just waiting for our unsuspecting fingertips to rip the packet and sprinkle neurotoxins into our drinks!! They're all bad news! Go on the internet and read their side affects, the list is long and scary. I had a co worker who drank diet soda all day, she now has MS. It is addicting. I've copied a letter below for you to read.

Just because the FDA approves something doesn't mean it's safe. Look how many medications/products have been yanked from the shelves years later when these products have caused serious health problems and fatalities.

If you are eating/drinking anything diet stop immediately!! I say this to you and everyone who isn't even in a bad health situation. These things are essentially ant poison that act as neurotoxins on our brains. I think the only natural and safe sweetner is of course plain sugar, honey and Stevia (not puristevia) pure Stevia. Study it. People are actually better off drinking plain soda than diet but better off not drinking soda at all. It eats the minerals out of our bones. While we know we should eat healthy, we forget or don't think about "drinking healthy" also. We say "We are what we eat" but left "We are what we drink" by the wayside. Makes perfect sense!

Here's the letter but there's so many more.

Diet Soda Aspartame Dangers

Dear Editor: I have been ill with unexplained seizures since 6/99. My seizures are not convulsive but, rather, I suffer serious dizziness and vertigo sometimes for hours at a time. The neurologist is baffled, as none of my symptoms is classic for "seizure" or for "migraines".
Firstly, the doctors attributed it to a hormonal imbalance after a miscarriage in 6/99. Then they even wanted to label me as having "panic attacks". Being the patient from hell, I refused the panic attack angle and said, "There is something seriously wrong - so start looking elsewhere, pal!
We decided to try an anti seizure medication, and my episodes seemed to lessen in frequency. Coincidence, or was the seizure diagnosis wrong in the first place?
I decided to do some more research myself, and realised even the first "petit mal-like seizure" occurred after ingesting multiple daily servings of diet soda. Whenever I would have a "breakthrough" seizure on the meds, in reflection it was after consumption of multiple diet sodas. My curiosity wondered if it was caffeine or the artificial sweetener.
When reading your article "The Bitter Truth about Artificial Sweeteners" [NEXUS 2/28 3/01 or website - http://www.nexusmagazine.com/articles/Aspartame.html ], I wanted to throw up! I began to shake at the simplicity of everything that's been happening to me. This seemed to explain the "unexplainable, non-classic" symptoms the doctors were all baffled with. Didn't they read about this in med school or in their continuing education seminars?
Thank you, thank you, thank you...!
This patient from hell is now taking things into her own hands. I have already discontinued drinking my much-loved diet sodas (as they were also causing daily heartburn) and am drinking more water and juices from frozen concentrate. In less than three days, I am already feeling immensely better. I'm going to continue with this, as well as scrutinise other things in my dietary intake. I can't believe the answer could possibly be this simple. I do understand I may be wrong, but cutting this out isn't going to hurt me. I will continue with my anti seizure med for a while longer, just in case I'm off the mark. The anti-seizure med has left me with shaky, weak hands, still some dizziness and unable to work on patients. I am very anxious to discontinue it, instead of increasing the dosage when I have a seizure. (I am a dental hygienist, now doing office administration). My memory and concentration abilities have been affected.
After reading your article, I have no doubt that my symptoms will improve dramatically. I would like to sue the pants off the FDA for allowing this to be marketed without warning labels. I'd have liked to have had the choice of putting my health and career in jeopardy. Thank you again for your very insightful article. You have put the light at the end of my very long, frustrating tunnel!
Sincerely, K. Quigley, Maine, USA kdzsquigley@aol.com

Best as always,
Lynn

Bottom Line:
[color:#FF0000] [i] FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRINK SODA ESPECIALLY DIET!!!![/color][/i]

That sucks, Lynn! I drink A LOT of diet soda (and I too have some vertigo issues). Guess I'm going to stop!

Oh Polly I am so glad you are going to give up the diet soda. Please let me know if it helps at all w/your dizziness. I just got back from Philly and my mom's neighbor has severe vertigo and I asked her if she drinks diet soda and she said yes about 3 cans a day. Needless to say I shared what I shared above. We've got to spread this info. The irony of it from what I read also is it doesn't help you lose weight infact it does the opposite, two reasons:

1. some people think if they have a diet soda it excuses the large meal they enjoy w/the soda that it offsets it somehow

2. A diet soda is full of empty calories so the body goes searching for calories and can't find them so it makes you hungry, hence you eat more out of hunger.

Funny now that I think about it alot of people I've seen drinking diet sodas are heavy set or overweight people so it's not working!!!!

I'm so proud of you sister!!!

Hi Polly

Thankyou! Yes they are less than non-chalant ask John Daubert he has been in there with a few times now.
Not even a SUGGESTION!

I have Medicare thank God, but it does not cover prescription, dental or certain therapies.
I have to fight next to get a different better plan coverage, EVERYTHING is a fight I mean everything. When a few things go easy and smooth in life I go on & on & on about them in appreciation Took me Five years of fighting to get that medicare.

Don't know if there's a dental college near by will look that up. What do I have to lose letting amateurs into my mouth and at my teeth. More lost teeth? Nothing new to me

Message boards - I have looked at many, lots of people share my problem or similar problems none are exact. Meaning somebody will have three of them but not all. Or they will not share the neck & back troubles that i do, or they will mention other things like.. I had a car accident, I'm on all these prescription drugs, I have this or that...

As John mentioned - I just called the NIH in Maryland they already sent the info of what i need to do by mail.
The NIH National Institute Of Health if they ACCEPT you is only interested in one thing.

Finding a diagnosis for your problem

Like John sends they do detective work, and are the complete 100% opposite of every single MD Doctor I have EVER seen. 53
They want to know what's wrong with me.

They need lots of info form my primary care physician and a referral. Unfortunately my PCP Doctor is pretty useless to me as was the others. He doesn't even KNOW what I know which isn't much.
He's good for prescriptions for a cough or cold, he doesn't do or think much at all. Unless you hand him everything, what I'm forced to do.

Anyway I'll already called and there's a problem with getting a referral. Always a fight always!
I'm also trying to get to THE BALANCE CENTER OF NEW JERSEY
They want the referral too.

I have never been to a Balance Center like this. I want them to PROVE I have an inner ear problem, or DISPROVE I have one.
Period! The last time I called one the head doctor there said after speaking with me on the phone for 10 minutes or so said,

"I'll save you the trip and the $600 dollars.you have a spinal issue that's causing your balance issues"

This is what I have felt to be the case these passed four years or so, but can't get any backup on that from Five Neurologist, Two Orthopedics, and One Rhemoutologists although she said it could be related at least!
So I'm desperately want to see the balance specialist so I can tell the others NO! or okay I have multiple problems but they are not connected.

I'm tired and burned out from this, and from explaining it over & over & over & over & over & over & over. For going on 14 years now.

14 years that's - 1st grade all the way through 2nd year COLLEGE

The length of an entire pro sports career..

The age of the girl we produce here at the studio,so her whole life

Longer than most of my pets live

If your 53 years old it puts you back at 39

Enough already, It's crippling despite what anyone thinks or says. I just wanna know why? This way I can have some peace of mind and give myself some ammo/info to fight back.

Thanks
Mike

Thanks Louis

I watched the commercial and in envy as the people were standing, standing still! and smiling. I I could take a break from pushing my baby carrige, stand up in a middle of a mall
and do an interview I wouldn't need that bracelet.
Simple as that to me....

Sorry to hear your daughter is struggling with here balance after that terrible ordeal. Did anyone give her a reason why this is happening? Is it just from weakness?

Thanks Wendy I always appreciate your concern and help in the past.

I will let you know who we can attack next if need be
Hope all is well on your end.

Heavy stuff thanks Lynn...

I gave up soda a few years ago, NEVER drank diet soda ever. All I drink is water, a cup or two of 1/2 decaf coffee, and orange juice,and occasionally natural juice form the juicer carrotts apple etc...

Must take leave from this computer now, tipping over is happening, must hit the reclining chair....

Thankyou dear

Mike

wow nice!

Thread,people or picture of my room? lol

My Doing update - I'm headed for The Balance Disorder Center of New Jersey this Monday. #1 Never been to one #2 Gonna rule out this TIRED inner ear stuff (once and for all) I been hearing about for 14 years.
#3 If by some chance it is an inner ear thing then let them prove it and get it on with solving the problem. That will mainly leave me with the wrecked neck/spine & back which is what I feel in my heart is causing the problem with my vertigo..

Musically - Trying to finish this instrumental CD for two years now. Hopefully I can get that done,almost there. BUT despite the health troubles the musical improving project is showing GREAT results and promise.

#1 I have finished the 40 Drum Rudiments now... My hands feel like they don't even belong to me. Well so does the rest of me for that matter lol but ya know what I mean. This pad work has improved my drumming greatly in an area it really needed. And since I can't really sit up behind a set and play this is making up for it.

#2 Making big advances in guitar knowledge, and knowledge overall. Study some very basic Jazz on guitar and improving rapidly.

#3 I am self taught on all four instruments I play and NEVER learned how to really read music or studied theory. Hard to imagine playing for forty years and never getting to that.
Lack of discipline and MUSIC BUSINESS opportunities always kept me away from it.
Studying theory or practicing scales has VERY little to with writing songs, especially hit songs. Also very little to do with practicing or working with a band or recording engineering. Even producing...
So I'm teaching myself right now...

#4 The piano is coming along slowest, it involves sitting up.
But the left hand is much better now due to the drum & guitar work. They all help each other in a big way.

I'm determined to not let 24/7 vertigo and pain ruin every single aspect of my life. It's ruined enough already