JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum A MAXIMUM MURPHY DAY

This BUMP is for Stan. This was the first track that I posted on JPF and it just happened to be one of Stans writes.
I was just reading through the forum and found this lyric and really liked it so I thought I'd give it a go.

I know Stan really liked it and that makes me happy.

Sorry for the bump but I'm sure I won't be the only one doing this over the next few days.


RIP Stan you will be missed.

Andy


Hi Folks

I've just finished writing the guide track for "A MAXIMUM MURPHY DAY" lyrics by Tampa Stan and Jennifer (Jinx) Shaner. The link will take you to two versions, one with a very bad vocal by yours truly and one without so that if anyone who can actually sing can give it a go.
I forgot to record the last bridge but it's just a guide.
Here's the link and the lyrics:

A Maximum murphy day (link)

http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=838965&gonew=1#UNREAD

Looked Out Our Front Window & I Saw My Tire Was Flat
Looked a Little-Further..Saw a Truck Had Got My Cat
Went Outside to Fetch It, Slipped & Landed On My Back {Alt: A$$}
IT'S A MAXIMUM MURPHY DAY!--

(BRIDGE)
I'm Aware of "MURPHY's LAW"..It's ALWAYS.."OPEN-SEASON"
& The Part That GALLS ME..MOST-OF-ALL:
"It/{ALT: S--T} HAPPENS..FOR..NO-REASON!!!"

'Got To Work, 2 Hours-Late..to Find My Desk's Been-Cleaned
Pink-Slip Taped to Box-On-Top..'Guess "Dinner's Pork-&-Beans"
Back-to-My-Car, a TICKET's-There..& I Just Wanna SCREAM..
"IT'S A MAXIMUM MURPHY DAY!!!"

(SOLO TIME)

Hit ALL Red-Lights Headin' My Way Home..& Then There Was THAT TRAIN
At-Home, "WRONG KEYS", (Locked-OUT.."AGAIN")..Oh GREAT: Here Comes Some RAIN!
I PRY a Window, SLIP-&-Fall..Here Comes ANOTHER-SPRAIN...and
It's A MAXIMUM MURPHY DAY!

(REPEAT BRIDGE)

(TAG)
The Hardest Part of A MURPHY-DAY is.."TOMORROW...
They BEGIN..AGAIN..."
Yeah, A MAXIMUM MURPHY..DAYyyyy!--

(C) 2010 by "Tampa Stan" Good & Jennifer "Jinx" Shaner/BMI
All Rights Reserved.

Man, those guitars really sound good to me. ... and your voice is just fine, too. I'm sure Stan will be happy you put forth the effort to do this. My good headphones died -- so I can't really tell -- but the vocals do seem a bit swallowed up in the music sometimes -- but maybe that is probably just a mixing (or an enunciation) issue. Nice lead break!

Kevin

Hi Mork! I took a listen and you're not bad! The music sounds good and your vocals, though not perfect, stii sound pretty good. They do get a bit quiet at the end but overall I liked. We'll see what Stan thinks. You play well and write some nice tracks. I'm just about done some lyrics for the first "gentler" track you gave me and have some ideas for that harder one. I'll pass them along soon and see what you think. Thanks for taking time to work on our song!
Your new fan and friend,
Jinx

Mork, I think you need to be more confident about your vocal
because you do have a good voice, your playing is very good
also, the guitars sound sweet, if this was my song I'd be
real happy about it,

Tony.

Hi Mork.

I had a listen and I thought the tune was really good.

I can't comment from a musicans POV because I don't play.

All I do is give instructions to a studio on the feel of a song and how I see it and they (God bless their cotton socks) do the rest.

This is just my opinion and can be taken with a pich of salt, but I feel there needs to more anger in the vocals.

This guy is having a SHI?t day and yet he don't sound angry...
At least to me.

If the singer kicks himself in the balls before starting then I guess that would do it lol.

Maybe then some anger in the music would help.

Please as I say, these are only my opinions.

speak later

God Bless Roy and Helen

Thanks for the kind comments guys. Like I said in the first post my vocal was just a guide as I can't do it justice but I really appreciate the feedback.
This was actually the first track that I've ever recorded with me singing so I've got a lot to learn in regards to mixing vocals and phrasing.

If anyone else would like to lay down a vocal just use my backing track.

Thanks again

HiYa Bro Mork!

HEY, Bro, Ya PASSED The AUDITION with Flyin' Guitar Strings!!!

GOOD Guitar Work/You Got PIPES, Too...(Tho I learned Long-Ago, never let the Guitarist DO The Final Mixdown...heh...ya won't be HEARING the VOX! Heh-Heh!)

So, yeah, Vocals..need to mix 'em UP Front...& some Articulation'd improve it here-&-there. (My head melody had Hook sung "It's a Maximum..MUR--PHY--Day"..with a wee-bitta-Bitterness on the word "Murphy"...if ya know what I mean.)

Your SOLO in there was To Die For...& Big Thanks for that Mix-Minus, too! Ya KILLED Here, IMHO...and I really Thank Ya for Doing-So. (And soon as I get your Last Name, Phone No, Home Snail Addy & a Promise you'll Contact Jinxy & Me Annually...PM me here, OK?...I'll post your name in The Credits, OK?

Nicely Done Son...(Now I gotta scoot...La Femme has Flea Market on The Mind..& I'm about to get my left arm yanked outta the socket!)

CONGRATS, Best Wishes, & a Real BIG Appreciative Guy-Hug!
Stan

I knew Stan would approve! You don't need another singer on this or the other tracks we are working on either in my opinion. You have a great voice,just need to use it right. As you said you are not use to doing vocals with the tracks. Practice more with emotion behind the words and a bit louder with your voice. Otherwise, you're good! Your guitar playing is amazing! I'm glad we got you in on this. Give Stan your information which he can pass along to me. I'm feeling really positive about this one. Thanks again for a job well-done!

Thanks Stan/Jinx just glad to have been able to help out with the track. Just let me know if you would like any more music writing and I'll be all over it.
I'll practice a bit with my vocals and try to get a bit more bitterness in the Murphy line as well as boost the mix.

Cool tune guys and one everybody can relate to. Nice work both lyrically and musically.

Stevie

Man, that's a bad day.....

Agree with Kevin - the guitars sound great on this. Your voice is fine too - and is well suited to the song. Yeah, just needs a little smoothing on the phrasing but that comes after singing it 50 times or so.

Enjoyed that...

Scott

Thanks for the offer. You may be sorry. I have lots of lyrics that need talent like yours to make them songs. I'll send you a couple later for you to take your time and work on. If you want to look some up try "Freedom's Song", "Believe" and "The Problem". I know you have plenty of your own stuff to work on too. Thanks again!

Love the guitars and your vocals are good. Stan should love what you did with it.

Rick

I like it, nice collab and great music.

Hi Guys

Nice playing and singing -- memorable hook melody -- cool collaboration ! jm

THANKS Li'l Stevie-B, Neighbor-Guy Scott, & Nearby-Bro Rick! (Yeah, Stan Does LOVE IT!!!) Mz Caroline,. Thanks to You Too!

It's Such a TREAT when the MusicPerson brings these Babies to LIFE!

Best Wishes & Big Hugs, Y'ALL! (Which Includes Bro Mork for Doin' & Posting It AND My Appomattox CO-Adventurer, TOO!~)

It's a MAXIMUM PLAIN FOLKS PLAY!!!

& I THANK YAS!
Ol' BigSmilin' Stan

Thanks to all of you guys checking out our song. I'm glad it is being enjoyed.Stan was fun to write with and Mork/Andy did a great job with the music! I hope to work with them some more. I'm not on much these days due to my mom being in the hospital but I will keep checking the site when I can. I love reading the posts. There are some really talented,not such plain folks (in my opinion) here!

I loved working on this track with Jinx and Stan and after reading all the great comments it's great to know that other folks enjoyed it as much as we did.

Thx again guys.
Andy

Hi Mork, Stan & Jinx,

There was some really fine playing on this and the vocals weren't bad either. As someone said, maybe a bit more attitude would suit the topic better.

Lyrically, it seemed a little wordy in spots, and tricky to sing. Maybe a little trimming? For example, in V3:

ALL Red-Lights Headin'Home..& Then There Was THAT TRAIN
WRONG KEYS, Locked-OUT.."AGAIN")..Oh GREAT: Here Comes Some RAIN!

What you have labeled as a bridge seems more like a chorus to me. And the solo, which was really good, would be a musical bridge.

Just some thoughts. Well done!

Ricki

HiDee Mz Ricki!

Yeah, I'm oft-Guilty of Crammin'-In Details...heh-heh!

Luckily, we got some Great Guitar to maybe Cover The Rough Spots..heh-heh-heh... THINK I just got 2-more-syls there per-line than in "What Was I Thinkin'"...& Dierks handled it prettywell-indeedy! (& this'n' goes Slower, best I recollect.)

Since I'd penned a REFRAIN Every-Verse..AND I didn't USE the Hook in those What-I-Called-"Bridges"..they seemed to merit bein' called "Bridges" insteada "Choruses".

When Sung, doubt anyone'll call-my-sorty-"Bluff"...but you DO maybe have a Point...I'm interested if Others Agree Witcha! (IF-So..there's always the Trusty "EDIT" Function, ready-&-waiting!) Many Thanks for Your Kind Visit & LOVED that "Well-Done" a whole lot TOO! (Take a BOW, Fellow Co-Labbers!)

Best Wishes & Great Big Hugs Backatcha,
Stan et all!

Hi Mork, Stan, & Jinx,

Mork, I enjoyed your singing and guitar playing. Stan and Jinx, you have a very relatable lyric here. Good details. Something just occurred to me. What if in this line:

At-Home, "WRONG KEYS", (Locked-OUT.."AGAIN")..Oh GREAT: Here Comes Some RAIN!

You said:

At-Home, Locked-OUT.."AGAIN"..Oh GREAT: Here Comes Some RAIN!

That way, we don’t really know why he’s locked out…maybe he’s had a fight with his wife or something….and not knowing this would add to his “maximum Murphy day!” I know he climbs in the window, but we might still wonder? I don’t know…just a thought I’m passing on….

Very nice job by all!

Kristi

Hi Kristi

Thanks, I think that would work well. I'll try to record a new version this weekend. Glad you liked the track I going to be working on a new one with these guys very soon.

Hi Stan and Mork.
Thought that I would pop back for another look see.

Lots of good suggestions given but thought that I could come up with 2 cents worth.

played a tad with the first verse. KOS

Looked Out Our Front Window & I Saw My Tire Was Flat
Looked a Little-Further..A Truck Had FLATTENED My Cat
HURRIED OUTSIDE REAL FAST, Slipped & Landed On My A$$
IT'S A MAXIMUM MURPHY DAY!--

For effect you could sing the first letter of ass (DRAWN OUT SLIGHTLY) then change to arhhh well
IT'S A MAXIMUM MURPHY DAY!—

WOULD SATISFY THE PURISTS AND EVERYONE WOULD KNOW WHAT STARTS WITH 'AR' AND RHYMES WITH FAST..LOL

yeh I know I'm crazy lol

I did think that the train line Stan was in there to rhyme as it never expaned too much on why.

Hit ALL Red-Lights Headin' My Way Home..& Then There Was THAT TRAIN

Was it a crossing and you were waiting for a train.

Anyway friend thats my 2 cents.

As usuall all in my opinion and KOS

God Bless Roy and Helen

ps. I appoligise to cat lovers.

G'Mornin' Mz Carly Simon Sunshine!

Many Thanks for helpin' us get this Where It's A-Goin', Kind LadyChum!!!

I think that's a pretty Good Sug ya gave us there...(Tho I LOVE the "Keys" Detail...I've lost MORE Keys MORE often than just about Anybody I Know!) (I get a DISCOUNT at the Flea Market, we have So Many Made!!!)

But, if that Nifty Edit is OK with my Associates here..YAYYY..you solved a mouth-twister, Sister! ;-)>

Let me "Plug" your Fine "Images of Me..Work Tape" Thread while I'm at it...(So evabody can tell WHY I'm re-nicknamin' ya "Carly Simon"!) It's a REAL Heartwarming Song ya wrote, AND Your Vocals are pretty IMPRESSIVE too! (Go see & hear it Fellow Folks!!!)

Many Thanks for Your Always Kind Visit & Words, Mz Simon..It's always an Honor to be Visited by ya!

Best Wishes & Great Big Hugs,
Stan

HiDee UK Amigo Roy!

I'll let Mork do the Coin-Toss between "Back" (for the Puritans in the Audience) and "A$$" (for those of us who call a Spade a Donkey). I'm leaning in-favor of The Latter since Nashville's finally let the "A" word gain in respectability lately.

I don't really LIKE to HEAR Profanity on the air UNLESS it's in a Laugh-Line..& as Luck Would Hopefully have it...it follows the Truck-Cat Scenario & sorta Caps-Off V1. So, I shelve my Victorian-Leaning Ears & just Laugh that "A$$" Off...'cuz it Works..IMHO! NO real Need to Soften-It or whatever. I think Audiences ARE Mature..or perhaps Dirty-Minded enough..to absorb a LOT more Profanity on the Airwaves than say, a Decade ago.

I think you DID do a GOOD Job of rewriting my V1 there. I, personally, stay in-favor of "got" insteada "flattened" because "got" ISN'T quite-as-graphic (with that tidge of morbidity to it) & we Won't tick-off the Cat Lovers QUITE as-much..methinks. (I'll add, I'm a Cat Lover..& yeah, that incident really happened...lost our favorite Black & White guy in the quiet of the night. Vehicles ALWAYS get The Best Ones..I'll never know WHY!) Back to the Lyric..(Sigh!)..I'll leave that Word Change up to my Associates...IF Mork & Jinxy think it works-Better, I'm in Full co-operation. "Whatever Works" has always been my Operating Motto!

I'm GONNA changed "Went" outside to "RUSHED" outside thanks to YOUR Fine Sug there! I want a One-Syl Word there..& "Hurried" has, alas, Two. BUT Yeah, SPEED-Factor there is VERY much in-NEED and you made us a Great CATCH, Amigo!!!

Speakin' of "Speed-Factors"...I was under the impression evabody "got" the Train Line...but maybe not? Singer's been-delayed by Every Red Light..AND Waiting for a TRAIN to Pass-BY...on his way home. Did that li'l Train Question come off as TOO-questionable?

Me, I liked how, as-penned, it sucked the Listener IN and sorty draws that "Yeah, RIGHT!" response as ya react to it. (Or shall we say, HOPEFULLY react to it...heh!) (If Cap'n Lighthouse has been reading All This...this IS What Happens sometimes when ya DON'T give audience Quite-ENOUGH DETAIL-ing.)

Me, I laughed Good-&-Hard at that line. I'm a-guessin' maybe 20% of the Average Audience WON'T get it...but WILL Laugh-Along because they hear OTHERS laughing-away. &..maybe by the time they've HOPEFULLY Heard It On The Air 2-3 MORE times...that Little Light'll Go ON! It's not TOO-Cryptic a bit..but, yeah, as-penned takes a Wee bit of Thought, first-time-thru, to grasp the Concept.

I can just Imagine the Covey of Blonds that'll rush over to The Singer at Song's End..begging Explanations of that "Train Line"...only to have the Singer's Brunette Wife watchin' The Moment...&..yep...A MAXIMUM MURPHY DAY!

Many Thanks for Your Very-Valuable 2-Cents Worth, Amigo! I allus appreciate bein' Kept on my Toes, writing-wise..because Obviously I'm not always On-Point! Best Wishes & Big Hugs back to You & Helen,
Ol' Slipslidin' Stan

Thanks Stan. In regards to the cat, a friend of mines cat got flattened by a car and he being an artist decided to turn it in to a work of art. (true story).

His poor pet had a tyre track right across it and he framed and put it on display in an exhibition.

He titled it simply 'my cat'.

The public came and saw and within 5 minutes he had to take it down. Big outcry in the papers.

That was my friend kevin. always was a bit crazy and to this day he can't see what he did wrong.

Anyway enough reminising for now.

I'm probally tooo picky on the train thing Stan...

I will follow your song Stan

God Bless Roy and Helen

Hi everyone! I was checking in here and reading the suggestions. I have to agree with Stan that "A$$" works ok here. It has been used in other songs and I feel it offers a funnier picture. Also "got my cat" sounds better than the descriptive word "flattened". The words are hard enough for animal lovers but something most everyone, me included, can relate to. As for "that train" it seems that everytime I'm in a hurry I hit every red light and usually come to a stop at the train tracks by my house. I think it should stay and those who are confused by it will just be more intrigued... until perhaps that moment when it's playing on their car radio and they get to concentrate on the words as THEY wait out a train. As for Kristi's suggestion to remove the "Wrong Keys"...I'm not sure. I agree it makes it less wordy and may flow better but I also lose more keys (have 3 sets at this moment to avoid this problem) and have also locked myself out of not only the house but my car hundreds of times. I'll leave it up to my co-writers and take a listen to the new version Mork is working on. We can try it both ways and see whet reaction we get. I'd love more opinions on this. Anyway, thanks again to everyone who has taken time to read,listen,and comment on our song.

Big thanks to all,
Jinx

Hey Stan...

You’re so funny….Carly Simon…are you sure that was MY song you were listening to? Between you and Beth, I have some great PR going on…lol ….thanks for your kind words...on your thread, no less! LOL

I wish all three of you the best with this song here…it's a good one!

Kristi

Hi Mork & Stan

Wow hah, I just love it.

Mork how many times did you practice this song before you recorded it????

You have such a great voice, I believe you just need to practice singing it more, and I have no doubt you will nail the song.

So get to work, no need for someone else to sing this song, cause you already got it hah.

Great work you two, Hi Stan, and I'd love to hear your next take on it, big hugs.

Aussie fan

Michele

Thanks Michele, the hole song from writing to mxing took me about 3 hours as you can tell Which is why I'm going to go back and tweak it a bit over the weekend and try to nail the vocals.
Glad you liked it

Tampa Stan and Jennifer (Jinx) Shaner you did good on this one and Mork I liked the guitar play. Don't think it could be easily replicated.

Doug

Hi Doug! Thanks for listening. I'm glad you enjoyed! Stan was a lot of fun to work with and learn from. Andy/Mork did an incredible job with the music and he has a great voice too! I appreciate the feedback.

This BUMP is for Stan. This was the first track that I posted on JPF and it just happened to be one of Stans writes.
I was just reading through the forum and found this lyric and really liked it so I thought I'd give it a go.

I know Stan really liked it and that makes me happy.

Sorry for the bump but I'm sure I won't be the only one doing this over the next few days.


RIP Stan you will be missed.

Andy