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Riot Fest
by Gary E. Andrews - 06/21/26 10:51 PM
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Hard-Fi
by Gary E. Andrews - 06/19/26 06:43 PM
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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=985800&songID=9510244Man in the Womb Copyright Bluesriff 2010 V1 Good morning, you up there Can you hear me way down here? What’s for breakfast, what’s for lunch? A cigarette first, I figure Careful now, it’s me in here Do you know the man upstairs Will he be there when I arrive? Chorus Music under water sounds so beautiful A son or daughter does it matter? Is that my father or will his name escape you? Are you escaping now? V2 I hear your heart, do you hear mine Thanks to you I’m feeling fine A little faster than I’d expect but so is yours Tell me now, when I arrive Will I be able to survive What you need, I need like you will you feed me too? Music under water sounds so beautiful A son or daughter, makes no difference Is that my father or will his name escape you? Are you escaping now? interlude bridge Hey set em up, I could use a drink I’ve been awake for 3 long days Light one up, I crave another, more than a mother, now v3 Well I’m here and underweight Thanks to you my body aches Not for breakfast, not for lunch it’s why I cry so much Music under water sounds so beautiful A son or daughter, makes no difference where is my father, what will he call me do you hear me calling, now
Last edited by Bluesriff; 09/01/10 12:16 PM.
Write on, Man,
Michael W. Brown, f.k.a. "bluesriff"
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
Mahatma Gandhi
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Joined: Jun 2010
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Hey nice song.
Very imaginative and heart felt lyrics.
Outstanding musical arrangement and the singer's voice and delivery, really bring the emotions out in the song.
You are one hell of a song writer...
Nelson
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Wow Nelson,
Really appreciate the generosity.
Thanks a bunch.
Mike
Write on, Man,
Michael W. Brown, f.k.a. "bluesriff"
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
Mahatma Gandhi
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Bump
In less than 24 hours it's on page 3 and heading for obscurity..ha
just once
just bumpin
blues
Write on, Man,
Michael W. Brown, f.k.a. "bluesriff"
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
Mahatma Gandhi
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Hi Blues,
First off, this is a very pretty listen. The imagery is very evocative too. Clearly, you are a terrific writer, when you can deliver a line as stunning as this:
Music under water sounds so beautiful
I guess my problem is I don't get it. Who is the Man in the Womb? It bums me out to say it, because I enjoyed letting the music flow over me.
While this isn't the first time a lyric has eluded me, perhaps this is why you haven't had a lot of response? Regardless, you really shouldn't put TOO much stock in the numbers...since there are soooo many reasons why something can slip down the page quickly. I've been hit or miss with my attendance here, so don't know if you've been offering critiques on other peoples' songs. That generally creates a nice reciprocal situation.
One other note, on the singer. She has a unique quality to her vocal, but it gets lost somehow in the execution. Ironically, it almost sounds a bit like she's singing underwater. I'd love to hear that brought out more clearly, à la Stevie Nicks' "Gold Dust Woman".
"In conclusion", Blues, I think you have a lot going for this song....if you could just maybe explain it to me a bit?
Thanks for sharing,
Beth
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Hi
I think the writing is really well done, sorry Beth - I get it
Some words get lost and The recording needs mastering ; ) jm
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Hi Mike,
The lyric is very well written and I love the music you have set to it also...well done.
I agree with Joice on the singer just needs to bring the words out a bit more, but overall this is a great song and you should be very proud of it...it's a winner IMO...glyn
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Hey thanks guys (n gals). I have to agree on the shoddy production and the fact that my singer, although talented needs to enunciate a little.
Beth, I can see where a "Man in the Womb" might confuse. First, I went with that because it sounded like "Man in the Moon."
That aside, the song is the oft silent voice of an unborn baby whose mother is an addict and perhaps a little promiscuous.
Thanks for the listen.
Michael
Write on, Man,
Michael W. Brown, f.k.a. "bluesriff"
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
Mahatma Gandhi
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Hey thanks guys (n gals). I have to agree on the shoddy production and the fact that my singer, although talented needs to enunciate a little.
Beth, I can see where a "Man in the Womb" might confuse. First, I went with that because it sounded like "Man in the Moon."
That aside, the song is the oft silent voice of an unborn baby whose mother is an addict and perhaps a little promiscuous.
Thanks for the listen.
Michael Thank you for the explanation. It now makes perfect sense, and is especially compelling. I think what threw me off originally was the word "man", because a man is already full-grown. Since you suggest it could be a boy or girl...maybe you could use instead: "Me in the Womb"? or "Waiting Womb"? That last one might be too "cheeky".... Regardless, this was a pleasure to revisit. My comments about your writing abilities stand.  Take care, Beth
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Thanks a bunch for the critique and kudos.
Mike
Write on, Man,
Michael W. Brown, f.k.a. "bluesriff"
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
Mahatma Gandhi
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Hi Mike, This has a sadness about it, but a real cool song. I'd be proud of it if I were you. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Thanks Calvin,
I will be as soon as I add a little production to the mix.
'Preciate it.
mike
Write on, Man,
Michael W. Brown, f.k.a. "bluesriff"
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
Mahatma Gandhi
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Well written and makes a heck of a statement.
Others have commented on the production.
The title is curious
Man in the womb yet you use a female singer.
I'd consider changing the title to perhaps
Do you hear me calling now.
Or you might do a little rewrite and add do you hear me crying now.
Or
simply find a way to use man in the womb and use a male singer.
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Yes Bill, That title has been a bone of contention. Renaming it to "Do you hear me calling, Now," has been suggested and I believe it's what I will do.
Thank you for the listen and suggestions.
Love your writing, BTW...
Thanks Bill
Write on, Man,
Michael W. Brown, f.k.a. "bluesriff"
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
Mahatma Gandhi
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