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Real Deal
by Brian Austin Whitney - 05/07/26 01:38 AM
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Flyte
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/06/26 05:36 PM
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Joined: Apr 2010
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VS It's like it never really happened You tied me up and dressed me down Slapped my face and my eye blackened Knocked me over and kicked me around VS You took what little pride I had Taunted me and made me mad You tore my clothes to tiny shreds Marked my body and wrecked my head
Chorus: All my life it's been something That I've never understood Why do I always feel so bad When it hurts so good
All my life It's been something That I've never understood Why do I always feel so bad When it hurts so good
VS You're in charge of this relationship You're the one who makes the rules And you know I wont be happy Until I've broken all your tools VS You could only ever really hurt me If you left and said goodbye Until then please don't desert me Or else I'll really start to cry
Chorus: All my life it's been something That I've never understood Why do I feel so bad When it hurts so good
Why do I feel so bad When it hurts so good Why do I feel so bad When it hurts so good
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Wow. That is one messed up abused woman in this song. (I'm guessing it isn't a guy from the reference to breaking tools.) Can't decide if the word "and" on the third verse fits. All in all I think your verses are a little stronger than the chorus. I like the hook but the verses are very emotional and the chorus seems to change the tone to something more reflective and pensive.
Kate  – "The strongest drive is not love or hate. It is one person's need to correct/modify/alter/edit/change/rewrite another's copy."
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A song with the same concept is already written. The idea is very sound, but the one to beat and to distinct yourself from must be John Mellencamp's "Hurts so good": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dOsbsuhYGQ
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Hey Kitty It is about a woman(but the tools line is not a sexual reference) It's trying to show how sometime we all live separate lifes. Have a look at my song double life (if it's still posted)
Thanks for taking the time to visit Joe
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Thanks I'll check it out
Cheers Joe
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Oh dude I totally wasn't going THERE at all. I just figured a guy is more likely to have tools to begin with and guys don't normally go around deliberately breaking somebody's tools.
Kate  – "The strongest drive is not love or hate. It is one person's need to correct/modify/alter/edit/change/rewrite another's copy."
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Nah it's cool. Definitely a valid point on the Mellencamp song though, I'd forgotten about that. I've started googling song hooks before I write them!
Kate  – "The strongest drive is not love or hate. It is one person's need to correct/modify/alter/edit/change/rewrite another's copy."
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funny I think the line Hurts so good makes you think of Mellencamp cuz thats exactly what I thought.....
but.... I thought the song was a bout a guy...?? the only I can se / feel is that verse 1 needs something in it to say its ok that it hurts so good....cuz why is he/she there if there aint anything there, there...
Good luck writing, thankss for letting take a peek!
Last edited by Kathy Bampfield; 07/05/10 07:59 PM.
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Hey Kathy Before I wrote this I'd never heard the mellencamp song (and still haven't) but It was written in good faith.
All the best Joe
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Happens to the best, and it's still a deep piece. One thing Joe - this is so descriptive, but this woman seems to me to be stuck in a victim mentality. It's hard for me to stay sympathetic to her, if that makes any sense?
Kate  – "The strongest drive is not love or hate. It is one person's need to correct/modify/alter/edit/change/rewrite another's copy."
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HiYa Bro UK!
I somehow thought this was a guy singing to his Dominatrix. NOT a wounded gal song in the least.
Also thought it was Great Sick Fun...definitely Darker-Side Humor! (Tho I'm NOT in the least Pain-Oriented for MY Pleasures.)
I also assumed the "Broken your tools" line indicated HE wanted HER to break (for instance) HER Whips on HIM.
"Tools" sure DOES take it beyond near-harmless Spanking, don't it? Well..diffo strokes for diffo folks, as Sly & The Stone once sang of. (Sounds like this Couple deserves each other, & yep, I'm aware such couples exist.)
DOES make me glad I'm not so-jaded I've ever had to try it.
Good Luck with a Good One that'll fer-sure raise some whips..& eyebrows, Amigo! Good Luck with it. Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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On a reread I can see how you might get that idea Stan, especially on the second verse! But the first half of the chorus doesn't fit the bondage slave theory either, JMO.
Kate  – "The strongest drive is not love or hate. It is one person's need to correct/modify/alter/edit/change/rewrite another's copy."
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Hey there,
Just trying to play catch up on some posters here!
I have to say I was with Stan on the interpretation of the Dominatrix scene...not sure why the first part of the chorus wouldn't support that theory. In fact, I would sort of wonder why I felt pain was necessary for pleasure too.
Similarly, I understand the abused woman interpretation. I certainly realize there are women like this out there....but I do find it a bit disturbing for that reason. Nevertheless, it doesn't mean the scenario shouldn't be written. Happy endings don't always exist for some people.
Also, I agree with the dichotomy b/w the verses and chorus. Aside from the "why?" factor...she seems very self-aware and cognizant of her circumstances. Maybe a reference to witnessing some abuse in childhood? I dunno... The tools line seems out of place too...you're suggesting when she does that...he'll get really mad...and beat her a lot? Maybe instead something like:
You're in charge of this relationship You're the one who makes the rules And you know I wont be happy Until I've broken all your toolshelped you to be cruel
As for the reference to the Mellancamp song...no worries from this end. If anything, it made me want to visit the song because I do like the other one. Wasn't making comparisons once I got here.
Anyhoo, I like it so far. I think though, you might want to play around with it a bit to give us a reason to want to empathize with her. Maybe even doing a verse from his POV? That might be interesting....
Thanks for sharing and ciao for now, Beth
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Hey Stan I've gotta be honest half the time I have no idea what i'm writing, I kind of go into a trance and there it is. Regarding this song I can honestly say I have no idea what it's about. I'm glad you liked some of it
Joe
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Hey Kate take it up with her
Joe
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Make me! LOL isn't that the lyricist's job? But cryptic is good too.
Kate  – "The strongest drive is not love or hate. It is one person's need to correct/modify/alter/edit/change/rewrite another's copy."
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Beth I'm glad you enjoyed it
Take Care Joe
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KATE YOU ARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE.
Last edited by joewatt; 07/07/10 12:21 AM.
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