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Riot Fest
by Gary E. Andrews - 06/21/26 10:51 PM
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
Top 10 Poster
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240 |
Char ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/biggrin.gif) and Wyoming ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) What CAN i say in my defense... since I REFUSE to start rambling.... i don't think i'll say anything... (you've both already said it all and then some....) Missed you two...Made me Laugh... kk
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 853
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
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Posts: 853 |
Hi Kaley, Haven't been around much the past week. Missed the weekend here, and am just now getting around to e-mail etc.. Anyway, this is really very nice, as you've plenty of testimony so far. On "meadows", how about, "Trees lose their leaves To Autumn meadows Like them........I'll let go And take the time.......to grieve." I know the meaning isn't all that clear, but to me it has a (double) implied meaning... One, the trees of summer give way to barren fields of autumn. And two, the trees lose their leaves, and they are blown into, and claimed by autumn meadows, which captures the imagery I think you are reaching for. On the first one, in the summer, when all the trees are full, the forests dominate the landscape, but when the leaves have fallen, it's the open spaces that take over and command the eye. Of course, leaves don't really fall completely until late October, but even so, I think this works okay. And it solves the problem of the mixed imagery of trees and meadows, which wasn't really a problem for me anyway. Gotta run, just had a sec and wanted to comment on that one line. Nice work here. Curtis [This message has been edited by Curtis Cameron (edited 04-17-2002).]
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 1,441
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
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Posts: 1,441 |
Howdy Ms. Kaley! This is just beautiful. I have to admit, the word "splendor" tripped me too. Seemed a bit antiquated to me. Maybe it's an L.A. thing. Not sure what I'd suggest to replace it though. Sorry. No help at all, ne? Anyhow, no other problems for me whatsoever. Even the Autumn-leaves-meadow issue or the teardrop smile all sit great with me. Made perfect sense. My favorite part: A curtain call and darkness dances as summer's chances fade ...into fall Really pretty one! Can't wait for the music! -Chuck Crowe [This message has been edited by Athabaxtra (edited 04-16-2002).]
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 3,072
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Posts: 3,072 |
Hi Kaley gal! Good to be reading one of yours again. This certainly didn't let me down. What a beautiful song this is. I picked up a melody for it before I finished the first verse. Good flow and no wasted/fill words. Very nice job! David
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
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Curtis and Chuck. .. Thank you both... ..Curtis such a simple..change.. hmmmmmmmmmmm........thinking... well..i haven't changed anything yet..... and just finished the work tape...that i will send out to get demoed..... I'll have a while..not even sure where to send this one... hope you'll have time to listen..to the melody when i post it... thanks for your time.........and comments... glad you liked it...... Kaley Chuck...the splendor hadn't bothered me... now both you "California" guys..have mentioned..it..... i just wouldn't normally use that word...either...It sure would sound strange in country or..kids...I'll give it some thought... think that might be my favorite part too.. I disected it and played "musical" words... many times...trying to get it where i wanted it......... thanks for your kind comments... Best Wishes.. Kaley
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 3,007
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KK, I meant to comment on this much earlier but until now I haven't had the chance to get to typing, so here I am To tell you this is just a beautiful lyric! I love the choice of wording....and the openness is fine with me..I can't wait to hear your melody- still listening to your last one! Pam ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/pamhurley
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 50
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 50 |
Kaley,
Very nice and well done. I am sure the melody you have will be a fitting tribute to your words. Congrats. David
D.R. Hapenny/Dadak Music
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
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Why does.. your reply get taken away when you exceed the smiley limit...???. David,(hotrod), Pam, Noel, and David thank you all......i'm combining this..i just wrote..you each...on here....(this post)...and it gotten eaten by the smiley destroyer.... had more than..8 smileyes.. so this is gonna be condensed.... David..Hotrod...thank you my friend... So GOOD to see your Name on the board.. and i hope you are continuing..to get healthier......Sometimes...things certainly happen...that we just don't expect..... Hope we'll see one of your songs..soon.. Glad you liked this David...I worked up to posting it...now i'm working up to posting the melody... ..yes......Pam...I know... confidence, ....I'm trying... ..... thanks..and glad you liked it...i WILL post the melody today...worstcase scenerio you guys are gonna say is YUCK.... ... uh...no rambling...i'm moving along.... Thanks..Gal..... Noel, thank you for commenting....Glad it looked....Fine to you....I'm still up in the air on a spot or two...but......glad you liked it...... David...Hello...and I commented on one of your songs....but...I'm not sure..i said..welcome.....or maybe..i'mgetting confused... anyways...i read your...situation over on the other board...You are an inspiration... There are others on the board..who..have.. had similar situations...as what you described...I'm so glad you are HERE to be able to continue writing.... and i hope you can continue...to defy the odds... and that you continue to recover....... and thank you for reading my lyric..and for the encouragement... and for liking it... (hoping i didn't exceed the smiley limit) Kaley
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 12,215 Likes: 52
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 12,215 Likes: 52 |
Glad I dropped in here KK. I did see this the other day but I was too busy to check it out.
Yeah I'm on the bandwagon here. Lean and clean... on tennie suggestion
No golden splendor ....could compare
to such beauty..........sweet and rare
Not sure I like the sweet and rare, seems a bit awkward but of course its a personal thing
Perhaps more conversational,
No golden splendor ....could compare
to such beauty..........I saw there
In any event, this deserves to be heard.
Kudos, a GOYM, AND a big bd
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
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Posts: 10,240 |
Thanks John....for fitting in ...a look at this....My busy time starts in two weeks... and I will probably be scarce and scarcer for awhile... ya know what..that..was the spot i questioned coming in....Specially the Sweet...cause it's used so often..... i' don't know....I'm gonna post the melody now and pull the words...over as is....... think about any comments..i might get on the melody...and maybe that will help me decide what to do on the questionable...spots... thanks very much. Kaley
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 20,002 Likes: 32
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Top 10 Poster
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Posts: 20,002 Likes: 32 |
Brian Austin Whitney Founder Just Plain Folks jpfolkspro@gmail.com Skype: Brian Austin Whitney Facebook: www.facebook.com/justplainfolks"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney "It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..." -Brian Austin Whitney "Sometimes all you have to do to inspire humans to greatness is to give them a reason and opportunity to do something great." -Brian Austin Whitney
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 382
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 382 |
Hi Kaley
Very exciting to see a beauty like this written and the fantastic response you have gotten...darned inspirational!
I was totally busy in April and could not even look in on the boards...but it's interesting that the mainboard crashed and every song just stayed in suspension...so I didn't miss this great song of yours afterall!
Of course in my lifetime I could hope to write something like this one of yours...!!!
Gonna go listen to demo now!
Way to go,Kaley!!
Bean
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,929
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
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Posts: 1,929 |
G'day Kaley, I LOVE YOUR SONG!. It's poetry in motion. I was just told that you write music and that you could write great music for a song I just wrote and all say it was ' a song for kids'. it's called "My Friend". Please have a looksee when you get a free moment. I hope you do. OH Gee, I wish I could write songs good as you, I LOVE YOUR SONG!. best wishes, Ray in Australia.
Ray Thyer
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