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Sorry I have not been on the board for awhile. Had some health issues but I am fine now. Just wrote this one called " A Hobo's Song" Folk of course. It is new and really really rough.. any help smoothing it out would be most welcome my friends

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8843106


Hobo's Song by Dan

From Boston Massachusetts
To the North Pacific Shore
I been around this great big land
I'll be around once more
I felt the wind, the burning sun the rain upon my face
I rode the rails I walked the roads I'm never in one place

DOING FINE - GOT NOTHING ON MY MIND
DOING FINE - JUST WATCHING LIFE GO BY

WATCHING LIFE GO BY

Drank moonshine in Kentucky, even courted a Cajun queen
I walked around the shady side of the inner city streets
I gambled in St. Louie, I fought in Abilene
I slept out cold in Central Park, with nothing much to eat

Chorus:

Someday I'll go to Jesus, but maybe not today
I thought one day I'll settle down but I'm not made that way
until the final curtain, I will travel round
I hear that whistle blown now I'm heading out of town

Chorus

If I was a Hobo, I'd be proud to sing this song

Dan....I love the easygoing pace and flow of this one....very nice indeed....and you wrote that and then just took off with it so quickly?....very impressive for sure. Very nice melody for the lyric....fits together well. Vocals sound really good to me. I could hear this going a little more bluegrassy too....but it'd be great either way.

So glad that I got the chance to hear it. Keep 'em coming, Dan.

So sorry to hear of your health issues...guess we all have those, huh. But somehow, if we're supposed to....we get through them. So glad that you got through yours...

Have a great day....This song is coming along great.

Jan

Lewis, my dear friend Thank you for the listen.

Jan, always so nice of you to visit. Thanks so much. I am fine, I had some heart issues but I am ok, just have to behave now and take some meds. Boy I hate hospitals for sure .. feel like a pin cushin LOL

Thank you
Dan

Hey Dan.....I know about the heart issues....no fun there..... I'm glad your fine...take care of yourself....

this piece is smooth.....the lyrics really describe the hobo life....it paints a good picture....the guitar playing is great....I'm so envious of guys like you, and that guitar playing....your vocal is really good, too.....

Just curious....Are you from Kentucky originally?....I don't hear that in your voice...like say Louis from Alabama....you know he's from Alabama...lol.....it should be Louis Twang instead of Twinn....only kidding, Louis if you happen to read this....

Take care of yourself Dan...make sure you keep that LDL/HDL in good numbers.....Bob

Hi Dan.
I really like this song. The words are very good BUT…
Just a couple of ideas I will pass your way IMO.

I hope you dont mind me playing just a tad with your words...

KOS

God Bless Roy

I been around this great big land
I’ve been around is a stationary statement..if you know what I mean…
I'm never in one place.. this statement can’t exist… you can only be in one place…
So maybe:

From Boston Massachusetts
To the North Pacific Shore
I’ve traveled round this great land
And I’ll be doing it some more.
I’ve felt the wind, the burning sun, the rain upon my face
I rode the rails I walked the roads, never stayed long in one place

DOING FINE - GOT NOTHING ON MY MIND
DOING FINE - JUST WATCHING LIFE GO BY

WATCHING LIFE GO BY

Drank moonshine in Kentucky, even courted a Cajun queen
I walked around the shady side of many city streets
I gambled in St. Louie, I fought in Abilene
I slept out cold in Central Park, and couldn’t afford to eat

Chorus:

Someday I'll go to Jesus, but maybe not today
I thought one day I'll settle down but I'm not made that way
until the final curtain, I will travel round
I hear that whistle blowing, now I'm heading out of town

Chorus

Roy
I like your suggestion, thank you my friend that was so kind of you.

Bob thanks my dear friend. I am actually a central Pennsylvania boy ... LOL ...

Hello Dan,

Glad you're feeling better...you sure do sound good !!
I really like this song.
Really well done !
Thanks for the entertainment.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hi Dan

I'm sure glad to hear that you are taking care of your health needs. We have missed you and I am glad to see you back.....

This is a real fine song and your performance as always is in top form. Real good writing too. : ) jm

Joice and Calvin
thank you my dear friends

Always excited to hear a new Dan O'Connell songs, this one really tickled my ear.


Happy to hear you are doing better Dan, Take Your Meds !!!


Paul Gaines AKA Shooter

Paul
Thank you my brother. I always appreciate it so much. No one picks better than you

Dan

Love this, Dan - your best lyric, imo.

As the others have mentioned, your vocal, playing and the melody are a great match for it.

Only one nit - sounds like you missed the "not" in "I'm not built that way".

Hope your ticker is doin' fine - great to have you back!

Scott

Scott my brother, yup I missed it and was too lazy to record it again LOL ... Thanks so much my friend. I am doing ok now ... No heart attack thank goodness they caught it in time ... now just have to be a good boy and take all the meds ... yuk ...

Thanks so much
Dan

Dan,
this sounds great. Reminds of the real life hobo I met at 0 dark thirty near a small switch yard in Wichita. He had it all figured out and it worked okay for him.

Thanks,
John

Hey Dan:

Very enjoyable tune and some solid writing. I've downloaded this one and I am going to try and add some bass and guitar to it. I might succeed or I might fail -- hard to say.

Kevin

Kev wow thank you my friend, wow

John thank you for your kind comment my friend

Dan

Dan: I can't seem to send you a PM????? Maybe it is the O'C?? Have you gotten PM's from anyone else? It just clears your name out and sends it just to me! So I have to communicate publicly.

****************************************
Here's my bass and guitar version: http://www.jkt9000.com/html/Dans_hobo_song.mp3 . I had planned to just use the acoustic guitar, but my wife wanted to internet for awhile, so I had to use the electric (can't use the mic while people are clickity-clacking).

I might have overplayed a little and it changes the "feel" of it a little, but I hope you like it. Your version is fine as is, so it was just a fun exercise.
**********************************************

Kevin

OMG KEV THANK YOU my email is dano4734@gmail.com

my pm never works for some reason. can't wait to listen

I like it Kev, I think it is really really cool. email me a copy if you have a chance my friend ... thank you that was so kind of you

Dan

Lovely tune Dan.

I think you might consider singing the 2nd "WATCHING LIFE GO BY" a measure earlier. That pause is the only thing that's not working for me. Of course if you filled the space with a cool guitar lick, the space in itself might become a hook.

Really nice tune. Great overall vibe. I really enjoyed it.

Peace,

Ian

Hi Man,

Problem is it tells and dont show no pictures,

I felt the wind on my face,Et-cetera could be so much better if it was put say--

<The Western wind that warmed the rain that washed my sun tanned face,>
okay it's just off the cuff, and it could certainly be improved
but then it's creating a picture that appeals to our senses

Touch, Feel, Smell, Etcetera.

Great idea but what you have written is like a synopsis,
it's all tell tell tell.

I know it's folk but it could be so much more interesting by using some more chords away from the ones you are using.

Matt
I like your suggestions thank you so much, it is a work in progress, I like that idea a lot I will give it a try hey thanks so much for the listen my friend.

Ian,
You nailed it, I put the pause in cause I wanted to try and put a small guitar piece or riff of some sort. Problem is, I can't align the track right , I am sooooo lame at recording ... LOL Thank you my friend.

Dan

Dan, good to know you've recovered and are back to full health,
you sound in great form here, love the easy going no worries
feel to this, fits the vibe of the song and fine pickin as
always,

Tony.

Thanks Tony, I appreciate the visit my friend
and I am feeling pretty good and back to normal :-)

Dan

This sounds great Dan. Real easy to listen to. Great playing and singing. Loved it.

Dan,

Glad you are back among us. Nice song. Your voice and guitar sound good.

The first two lines of the chorus are crying out for harmony vocals IMHO.

Don't know if you are worried about sounding "current" or not. The word hobo seems to have passed out of favor. Not sure the average young person would know what a hobo is.

I think Matt offered some good ideas also.

Rick and Colin
Thank you my friends, yup I date myself with the term "Hobo"
LOL ...I bet they don't know what it is ... what would be a politically correct phrase LOL ... gotta think on it :-)

Thanks guys
Dan

Dan,

Sorry you've been having health issues but glad you are better. I thought this was very nice. I liked Colin's suggestion of adding harmony to your chorus. If you want me to give it a try, I could. I also think Matt had some good thoughts on your lyric, just to give it a tad more detail. I like that the hobo describes the places he's seen and the hardships of the lifestyle but then comes back with "nothing on my mind." That's a nice touch. Obviously, some of those things would stick with a person so I like the contrast of that message.

WENDY
I would love it if you did some harmony, i will email you
thanks so much!