JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum This Hard Land

Tony's recent song about a hard luck miner reminded me that I had one too and inspired me to record it. Thanks Tony

This Hard Land is here:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=377550&songID=8707563

Any comments welcomed. There are a couple of flaws that I will fix if anyone catches them and ignore if no one does.

Bruce has a song by the same title - at least I didn't name it Born to Run.

Lyric is below. Thanks!

Scott


This Hard Land
(c) 2010 by S.W. Campbell


Well it’s barely into June
But the mercury’s at ninety-two
And my mouth tastes like sand
It’s a dry heat so they say
But they don’t swing a heavy pick all day
Into the rock of this hard land

A long time ago I itched
To stake a claim, strike it rich
And retire a young man
And so by myself I came
To where there’s no one in a suit to blame
When things get tough in this hard land

I had my tables and my graphs
And like clockwork every year I’d start a shaft
That wouldn’t pan
I never thought myself obsessed
Men had given more for less I guessed
In places worse than this hard land

Last night I coughed myself awake
Drank a shot to kill my shakes
And looked at my reflection in the mirror
The body there was in retreat
Twisted, gray and weather-beaten
Like the junipers that grow ‘round here

A year ago I found the vein
Like a mule I worked it night and day
Till out of steam I ran
Packed a few things that I kept
Got a mile down the road before I stepped
My way back to this hard land

Nice one Scott,enjoyed the listen...weren't any obvious flaws i could hear ..you will know better,you are the writer lol..Terry..

Scott, just gettin' back on here after a few months locked out due to a computer crash...always enjoy your work...this piece has your signature sound and a well crafted lyric which is in your sweet spot as well...only nit might be to move the bridge along...I felt myself wanting that to flow better on the lyric delivery between line 3 and 4. be well, good to be back with the JPFolks...mj

My new favorite rhyming scheme: aac, bbc! Great instrumentation throughout. Once Moker mentioned a bridge -- I said "What bridge?" (LOL), so I had to listen again. It could be that "Last night I..." section -- but it has the same scheme so I counted it as another verse.

I think you could experiment with the vocal phrasing on some of the lines -- but you probably already have. Nonetheless, another great little tune. I wish I had your patience to craft a lyric. I think I could be pretty good if I did that. In all reality, I am more of a FAWM/RPM/5090 type guy -- love 'em and leave 'em (songs, that is).

Kevin

That's the truth, Terry. I know they're there but if other folks don't notice them, I can live with them.

Glad you enjoyed

Scott

Glad to see you back, Moker. We were wondering what was up.

Yeah, I almost cut that gap in the bridge out. Should have!

Thanks!

Scott

I like that rhyme scheme too, Kevin. I never set out to get it - just sometimes the tune leads it in that direction.

Yeah, the bridge is the section starting with "last night". I didn't even notice it had the same rhyme scheme! Chord progression is different - that's mostly what I was focused on.

Phrasing can be improved too, I'm sure....

Patience? LOL

I can tell you how to spend more time with your lyrics but you won't like it. Move from a place where you have a 3 minute commute to one where you have a 50 minute commute. Don't car-pool and don't play the radio in the car. You're all set.

Scott

Scott

Im a fan as you know I too was a little tripped up in the bridge I really like the instumental you have that folk tune old time country mix down to a science.

Paul Gaines AKA Shooter

I did download it !!!!

Yeah,
I think I'm gonna download this one too.

have fun,
John

Toe down, toe up, repeat many times.

Enjoyed this one dude

Mark

Hiya Paul:

Cool on the download! Thanks!

Might have to see if that bridge can be smoothed.

Scott

Great! Glad you liked it enough to, John!

Thanks,
Scott

Toe tapping is cool

Thanks Bro!

Scott

Hi Scott,

I'm not worthy of finding fault with your enjoyable work :-)
I sure enjoyed this tune.
Great inst. break.

real cool lines here....
Last night I coughed myself awake
Drank a shot to kill my shakes


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Howdy Scott. This fell into the immediate download catagory,
just like everything since, & including"Your Voice Singing"
I'm a fan and a student, studying it all. love the oldtimey
western feel to this music, love the storytelling
.......Thanks for sharing...............Gus

Dude, what can I say that hasn't been said, nobody tells a better tale or with more style and pure musical ability. This is another for the ipod. Keep 'em comin'

Hi Scott

well I did not hear them... and on my second listen either -- though sound click quit before the end.

I enjoy this too..... your characters of the west are the best !

jm

I'm a fan!! As with others you've done, this is at the top of the list, they just keep making me feel more inadequate though...hmmm....oh well, I'm a happily inadequate listener!!

Great tune Scott. This has a really cool melody. Really nothing about the basic tune bothered me. Great job. The phrasing is SOOO good on this... a vast improvement over the last tune of yours I critiqued. I'm wondering if that other tune was just basic lack of attention to detail?

Your voice seems to be getting gruffer by the tune! It sounds great... (I hope it's not a side benefit of Marlboro's? )

I really like this. Great job.

Peace,

Ian


One tiny thing that bothered me was the harmonica level in the mix. On my speakers it's a bit overbearing.

Scott,

I second all the good comments above. I did not hear a flaw but the harmonica did come on a little strong as Ian said. I like the phrasing - I was reading along and kept thinking you were backing yourself into a corner but you always came out fine. It's unusual which is a good thing IMHO.

Colin

Those are autobiographical Calvin.

No not really - but I can imagine it.

Glad you enjoyed this - working out the guitar part in the break was a lot of fun.

Scott

Cool that you liked it enough to download, Gus. Thanks! Really appreciate your support!

Scott

Man, Kim - you've forgotten more about music than I'll ever know - so I'll consider that a major compliment. Many thanks!

Scott

Hi Joice:

That was just a clever ploy to get people to listen. There's no flaws here. Yessiree, no flaws in this one.

Thanks! Don't know what happened the second time through - just a temporary soundclick glitch, I reckon.

Scott

Ha - I just listened to your song. I'd kill to come up with a hook like that.

Glad you liked this though...

Thanks Caroline!

Scott

Thanks Ian:

Difference between this one and the previous one was that I actually wrote the previous one in 97 or 98 - when writing songs was something I just did with no thought of actually recording them. So yeah - lack of attention to detail.....

This one came a bit later, when I was starting to pay attention to things more...

Mixing the harmonica continues to mystify me. Over my 'phones it sounds blasting. Over my monitor speakers, it sounds tame. In the truck, somewhere in between. So it's useful to get comments like that - I'll knock it back a little.....

Nah, no Marlboros - just having fun writing songs in a genre that seems to want a little more grit.

Appreciate it, Ian

Scott

Ha - painting oneself into a corner and trying to get out without getting coated with paint is fun.

Thanks Colin - will lower that harp part some.

Scott

Hi Scott,

I'm glad you decided to record this one. Great story telling and marriage of lyric and music. Very unusual phrasing and you pulled it off so smoothly. You never disappoint!

Ricki

I like this, too. Good voice for it -- sort of a cross between Tom Waits and Burl Ives.

The twist at the end really made the song, IMO. I do think it could have been even more powerful if the narrator increasingly resented the land for thwarting his dreams year after year as his longing to leave grows stronger.

When he says "Men had given more for less I guessed/
In places worse than this hard land" it seems like he doesn't mind the place. So it's not that big a surprise that he stays.

I had a notion that he could come to think of the land in terms of a woman and the gold as her heart.

Anyhoo, I'm rewriting so that means I like it. Good luck with it.

Thanks Ricki - I love exploring that western feel with the D and E chords added to the C F G and Am. Glad you weren't disappointed.

Scott

Thanks, Joyboy

First of all, that double metaphor of yours with the woman/land and gold/heart is just an excellent idea. I'll give you a year to write a different song based on that and, if you don't by that point, I'm gonna try.

Seriously, that would have worked well here, if I'd have thought of it.

My goal was more mundane - but I hit it because your reaction pretty much is what I was shooting for. I really wanted him coming back to be the logical conclusion. But I wanted to spice it up so I mucked around with the timeline so that the listener is a little surprised to hear that he came back after that bridge. What I had in mind was that the listener might just do a little double take but then think, "Well that makes sense after all".

This would have been a little clearer perhaps if I hadn't thrown out an earlier bridge where he identifies more with the land.

I only threw it out because I was worried about the length. Then it turns out to be only 2.5 minutes. I'm gonna have to start paying more attention to that before I record.

Thanks again!

Scott

Enjoyed the uptempo-ness of this, plus the pirate-esque, Louie Armstrong-ish, sand-in-throat gravelly vocals!

"Out of steam I ran" reverses the usual colloquialism of speech, but in this "vein" (pun intended) of vocals it sorta works.

All in all an entertaining listen!

Great Job Scott!!! Another good one. Man you jsut keep pumping them out! I really enjoyed this one.

Charles

Back again for another spin..........Groovin'...Gus

Hi Scott...

I really like this song..The lyrics, your voice and the music.

I loved the harmonica especially.

Your voice sounds just right for the part.

My only nit if it is one is that when the vocals ended, I was waiting for more...

A final bit of clever wording..like a tag as to this 'hold that couln't be broken' but maybe thats just me.
Could be the way the last line flowed.. sort of like ending in mid air. Probally just me.. so ignor if I am alone..

But I love the song...

Roy

Man, you played everything but the kitchen sink on this one. Excellent, esp loved the banjo.. Some really fast chord changes in there too. Think I'll play it again.

Scott, love the line, I'd start a shaft that wouldn't pan, says
it all about these guys, great lyric throughout, the melody
equally so, had me boppin and toe tapping, instumentation
is excellent, really enjoyed this one,

So we had road, lode and land, I'm gonna go and think maybe
of something like hard man, sand, its a plan, it was grand...
lol,

Tony.

Hi Scott,

That flurry of chords, in the intro and before verses,almost has a prog rock feel! This feels like authentic folk story-telling, and it's all sweet.

Your style, and "sound" are very enjoyable, yet I hope you are finding the getting there fun. Sometimes the way we work can become so second nature that we sleepwalk through it. I find that I sometimes throw a monkey wrench into how I work, just so I don't fall into the "sameness rut."

This is lyrically up there with your best work, and I always enjoy your musicianship.

Mike

Hey Scott,

Finally had some time to listen to this. It made me think of that movie with Daniel Day Lewis where he was an early oil tycoon. That was an insane movie..can't think of the name. But in the early scenes, he worked by himself and broke his leg while he was down inside a deep shaft or hole. He sort of pulled, drug, and willed himself back up to the surface. Your guy and reminded me of that character..just as hard as the land itself in some ways.

I didn't hear any mistakes, only the fast pace and great words.

Hi Charlie:

Thanks. Glad you found it entertaining.

Yeah, I'm aware of the Yoda-speak in that line. Folk might be the only genre where you can get away with something like that

Scott

Thanks Charles - glad you enjoyed it. Was a fun one for me

Scott

Cool! Thanks Gus!

Scott

LOL - the song is in G but I had to play those intro chords capoed in C because I couldn't switch fast enough in G

Thanks Louis!

Scott

Scott,

You're just so danged good with this type of music. Perfect voice for it. As always, a super write and performance! Great listening pleasure on our end!

Alan

Hey Mike:

Thanks for the nice words. It's still hard for me to accept compliments on my musicianship because I still find it hard to think of myself as one. I probably only kept at playing because I realized that was the only way I was ever going to have my stuff be recorded.

I'm still having fun - don't feel like I'm in a rut. Since I just do this for fun, I'd probably just not record at all if I was.

I like mixing it up but I tend to do it in blocks rather than song by song. I might be getting near the end of this particular block - we'll see what the muse has to say about it

Thanks Mike - nice to see you around the mp3 forum again!

Scott

Hi Wendy:

I'm drawing a blank on the name of that movie too but I know exactly which one you are talking about. Thanks for reminding me about it because I've wanted to see it. Just have to wait until my wife is out of town because she doesn't like westerns

I'll go up on imd to chase down the title....

Glad this worked for you. Since I'm not a miner, you got me wondering if the whole think is a metaphor for songwriting.

Thanks Wendy!

Scott

LOL - Yeah, Tony. Write an new one. And then we'll get Kevin to write one where he puts all FOUR of them together.

Yeah, I like that line too. There is always an anticipation in starting a new shaft (or song, LOL) - even if the previous twenty didn't do anything.

Glad you enjoyed this one!

Scott

Hi Roy:

Sorry I jumped over your post. Haven't had my coffee yet!

The ending of this IS a little abrupt. I probably should have added one more measure of strumming before going into the last chord progression.

Since I don't write in country, I usually don't think in terms of tags. If I was going to use one here though I might consider doing something with this notion - He's found the gold. And now the listener thinks back and asks what he is digging for in the first verse. I think he's digging a hole to bury his gold in.

Thanks Roy!

Scott

Thanks Alan - Much appreciated!

If a musician like you can get some pleasure out of one of my songs, I consider that a victory!


Scott