JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Creative Challenge Forum NEW CHALLENGE -- HALLOWEEN!! (with running tally!)

Nice job with the "fewer words" approach, Caroline. I think you said something about trying that!

Barry

Hey BOTB,

I just saw this now, I'm sorry.

Gotta go do some stuff, but will get back to you tonight, I promise (also on that other thingy...)

Ciao for now,
Beth

Hiya BOTB (also short for "Bottom Of The Barrel" HA HA HA !),

Anyhoo, WOW, this the only "from inside the coffin" POV entry I'm aware of. SOOOO totally my biggest fear -- not the being DEAD part, but being buried alive (OH MY SKIN CRAWLS AT THE THOUGHT )!!

So let's see... You set the tone with the title, so the first verse is a a riot, b/c the singer is so "blase" about his apparent predicament. Everything else describes the evening's "festivities" in sort of slap-stick detail....except the last two lines of the "Trying to remember..." verse, which threw me off a bit:

Trying to remember how I came to be
Lyin’ on my back in quiet misery
It all comes clear to me as I blink my eyes
It’s that time of year for my surprise

Aside from wanting to replace the second appearance of "eyes", I don't think "my surprise" is an accurate enough hint of what's to come. Would you at all consider....

Trying to remember how I came to be
Lyin’ on my back in quiet misery
Then a lightbulb goes on and I realize
It’s that once a year night I can rise.

Finally, I was a smidge confused when you changed the rhyme scheme in that last verse before the final chorus...but I gather that's your bridge? I would probably like, then, to see it even a bit more differentiated from the verses.

Other than all my usual KOS suggs, Barry, this one's a hoot. I hope you understand me well enough by now to know I wouldn't make these suggs "if I didn't care" !!!

Thank you too, for keeping this challenge going!!

Cheers,
Beth (aka Boo)

P.S. HEY, just had a thought. It could be "fun" to put a little twist at the end....so that on THIS particular night, he CAN'T get out (either they've "changed the locks", or his OWN nails are now gone so he can't dig his way out, or whatever. ) Then you could even say something like: "oh well, I guess this year I'm staying IN." Just a thought.... Thanks again for playing!

I like the idea of the twist at the end, I'm not sure I have the time to dedicate to this one.

Cheers - and thanks,

Barry

Hey Barry,

Sorry I missed you earlier...back to the pound, I take it? (HA HA HA!)

Anyway, no worries, I totally understand the time constraints. I'm not even sure folks make it back to read a response, forget making any further changes. This challenge in particular, as a novelty of sorts, creates it's own challenge in some ways... But by the same token, we've had some terrific entries.

Nevertheless, thanks for chiming back in....

Later,
Beth

Barry, thanks. That was challenging for me.


Beth, here is another for you! OK, maybe not the typical Halloween song, but I thought I'd sneak it over here and get some ribbing! LOL (cheesy joke, sorry)


Trick or Treat
© 2008 Caroline Holder
All Rights Reserved

Walking down the sidewalk in a strange new town
Thought I might do a little looking around
I came through when the sun was up and all was well
But when the ball dropped this place went straight to hell

Hookers trying to make a deal, with any old dude, handy
I see a tall blond approaching me, says her name is Candy

And she looked like she’d been up for a while
And she looked like she used to have a pretty smile
And she looked like she might have been someone’s dream
But tonight it's all Trick or Treat

Going to get a bite to eat at the corner place
She’s following me says “do you need a date”
I said “no thanks, I’ve had my shots, and I’m good”
She says “are you sure, you look like you really could”

I told her I was broke but she wouldn’t leave my side
Then her pimp pulled up said, man, let’s go for a ride

And he looked like he’s been up for a while
And he looked like he had no reason to smile
And he looked like he could ruin all my dreams
He said tonight it’s either Trick or Treat

Br.
I tossed that sack into his front seat and ran for my life
That’ll be the last time I step out on Halloween night

I never looked back to see if anyone followed me
Locked the door and didn’t even turn on the TV
I tossed out the bowl full of assorted goodies
Couldn’t get that night out of my head, and get to sleep

And I look like I’ve been up for a while
And I look like I have no reason to smile
And I look like I’ve never had any dreams
That’s what happens when you go out to Trick or Treat
That’s what happens when you go out to Trick or Treat

Hey Caroline,

Sorry I'm a bit late getting over here...but it looks like your submission was worth the wait!

You hussy! A Halloween "trick or treat" all right literally. You've set up an entertaining scenario, and I like how your chorus leads us from one person to the next, finally ending with the singer.

I only had two little nits:

In the first verse, I was thrown off by the expression "when the ball dropped". Maybe:

Walking down the sidewalk in a strange new town
Thought I might do a little looking around
I came through when the sun was up and all was well
But when the ball dropped TIL NIGHT SNUCK IN AND this place went straight to hell

Then you've got a bit of yoda speak therein that first Hookers section. How about:

Hookers trying to make a deal, with any old dude, handy DUDE
I see a THEN a tall blonde approaches me, says her name is JiffyLu [I KNOW, THAT'S A STRETCH, BUT.....]

Finally, in your bridge, when you mention "THAT sack", it doesn't refer back to any other sack...so that could be adjusted slightly. And what's in the sack? Does it have any bearing on what's happening?

Overall, Caroline, a very fun romp for Halloween. I think it might even sneak up on "someone"'s suggestion for a Hallo-weenie song!

Thanks fo keeping this one alive!

Beth

Beth, Beth, Beth...

Happy Halloween!

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6979896

The Mist © 2008 Calvin Stewart & joice marie

Deep, dark, and drippy
Dampening all sounds
Dreary and so scary
Silence all around

Don't get caught
in the Midst
of the Mist, ( the mist)
You'll be missed
Swallowed whole
By the mist, (the mist)

Slimy slinking spirits
Savor your distress
Spooking, then swiftly
Dodging your steps

Don't get caught
in the Midst
of the Mist, ( the mist)
You'll be missed
Swallowed whole
By the mist, (the mist)

A distant screech owl howls
twisting, turning, running wild

instrumental....?

Don't get caught
in the Midst
of the Mist, ( the mist)
You'll be missed
Swallowed whole
By the mist, (the mist)

Escape !
in your
sweaty sleeping gown

Joice, again, another great collab between Calvin and you. You two need to slow down and let us catch up! LOL

Nice, creepy song you have here.

Hi JM & Calvin,

HEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY, have you two been dipping into Joe W.'s "gloop"? :o

Now we're really getting into the thick of things. With all the way cool sound effects, these songs are not for the faint of heart!

Not surprisingly, I loved all the word play on Mist (missed, amidst). Is there any way to include the OTHER Boys of October, and toss in some baseball MITTS ?

Lyrically, I thought it could actually work in tandem with "The Well in the Glade"...

Deep, dark and drippy

...helLOOOOOO, how better to describe a gloomy Halloween Well???

Musically, it was very spooky and fun -- though I wish I could hear some of the background vocals/effects a bit better (maybe your intent?). As for your vocal, Joice, well-executed creepy scarey parts aside, I really enjoyed your soft upper range for a change (there's a rhyme for ya too!).

All in all, another great addition to this Challenge. Thanks for keeping it going.....

Beth

Thought of a Fairly-Fresh Angle this AM..Here's the Results...(Kinda along the "Bugle Boy of Company B" Melody Lines..Tres Retro)

"The BOB-FOR-APPLES BOOGIE" (C) 2008 by Stan Good, BMI

Head for the Party with the One You Love
Then ya Put Your Head Under..The Water in The Tub
And You DO...THE BOB-FOR-APPLES BOOGIE!

Yeah, Take off That Mask..Put Your Head Down
Open Your Mouth..then ya BITE all-around
And You're DOING..THE BOB-FOR-APPLES BOOGIE!

(BRIDGE)
WATER Up Your NOSE!
SPLASHIN' in Your FACE!
Deliscious-es & MACINTOSH'..All OVER The PLACE
& You're DOIN'..THE BOB-FOR-APPLES BOOGIE!

(BIG BAND INSTRUMENTAL BIT)

Take Another Breath..& Another Dive
Listen To The MUSIC as You BITE-BITE-BITE
& You're DOIN'...THE BOB-FOR-APPLES BOOGIE!

(BRIDGE 2)
Comin' Up EMPTY?
Everybody LAUGHS!
Seein' How LONG Your BREATH & PATIENCE LASTS!~
While DOIN'..THE BOB-FOR-APPLES BOOGIE!

(SHORT INSTRUMENTAL AGAIN)

(BRIDGE 3)
Face is SOAKIN' WET?
Hands Behind Your BACK?
GOTTA Grab That APPLE..So EVERYBODY CLAPS
{ADD:} (GOT ONE? OH GOODY!)
Now You Can Watch SOMEONE-ELSE DOIN'....
THE BOB-FOR-APPLES..BOOGIE-----

(C) 2008 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

Hey Stan,

You must be getting sick of me by now! (I think this is three posts in a row...am I now officially a stalker?? :o )

This is a FUN one. BIG fan of Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy -- I turned my kids onto that one years ago....

As for apple bobbing, what a great song idea! 'Course, as far as helping along the communicable diseases this winter goes, not sure how great of an idea it is! Sam is going to a party where they're doing it next weekend....maybe I'll ask them to sing this number!!

But best of all, what a great image: the Bob-For-Apples Boogie!

Keep bob-bob-bobbing along,
Jackie

! HAPPY HALLOWEEN !
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BATTERYS DEAD
© words by C. Stewart ( Oct. 18, 2008 )

When the heart don't pump
And the skin gets old
And the pulse don't jump
But the brain explodes

Batterys dead
Dead dead
Batterys dead

And my teeth fall out
As my toe nails rot
I hear satan shout
Give me what ya got

CHORUS...
Maggots live where I
Used to have eyes
Batterys dead
And so am I

Batterys dead
Dead dead
Batterys dead

Now I'm deleted
From family and friends
Cycle completed
Dark days begins

Batterys dead
Dead dead
Batterys dead

CHORUS...
Maggots live where I
Used to have eyes
Batterys dead
And so am I

I'd like to get down, Like to get dirty
But there's no breathin' allowed
I'd like to get loose, and shake my goose
But I'm hangin' with the underground crowd

CHORUS...
Maggots live where I
Used to have eyes
Batterys dead
And so am I

I'd like to get down, Like to get dirty
But there's no breathin' allowed
I'd like to get loose, and shake my goose
But I'm hangin' with the underground crowd

CHORUS...
Maggots live where I
Used to have eyes
Batterys dead
And so am I

Batterys dead
Dead dead
Batterys dead

Calvin
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hey There, Calvin,

Boy, you're certainly pulling your weight around here on this thread (that must account for those biceps, huh?).

Anyway, I had commented on this on the lyric board, but will be happy to reiterate those remarks. As "macabre" as it's been described, it is also uniquely your voice -- and quite intriguing.

Though I mentioned the opener in my other post, I did enjoy this section as well:

I'd like to get down, Like to get dirty
But there's no breathin' allowed
I'd like to get loose, and shake my goose
But I'm hangin' with the underground crowd

Just goes to show you, that even when you're dead, you've got a little life in you yet.

I suppose you could say you have a real knack for "thinking outside the box" ....

Thanks for keeping this going....

Beth

Hi Beth,

This has certainly been a cool challenge, that you.
And I'll take "thinking outside the box" as a cool compliment.
Have a good evening.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hi Beth, i'm still working on mine..got started a little,but then got sick and had to stop, feeling like my self now and will get back on it..here's really all I have so far, if someone or everyone want to add to it feel free, it can be a JPF's one..
It was Halloween night and gettin' late
Things were moving and steamin' down at the lake
Had to walk by it , to get to the party at school
Saw somein' move in the middle, couldn't be scared
I was too cool

ok , this is all I have so far glyn
will work on it and get back with ya

Hi Beth


ooops :O

I forgot to ask if it was ok if I started a thread to go with this one :O

umm... hmmm uhhhh uhoh... :O

Ok here goes..

Dearest Beth Williams

I am writing to you concering the matter of my challenge thread merging with yours.... Actually I'd rather call it our thread... It seems to me that we must be able to reach some amicable conclusion to this slight oversite on part of myself... Therefore I extend to you my apologee for not requesting the desired permission... If you shall accept said aplogee I will with great movement of my legs propel myself into the air rapidly and repeatedly while exclaiming my strong feelings of elation and gratitude... so in other words ... Can I Beth can I huh huh huh can I please oh pretty please can I huh huh huh?
Derek

Hi there Glynda!

How ya doin'?

Thanks for letting me know you've got something on the burner...so far so good!

Lookiing forward to hearing the rest of it....

Have a good day,
Beth

Hi TMG,

What a knucklehead!!

While obviously your letter of intent was unnecessary, it was obviously well thought out...and I must confess I enjoyed the begging part.

So by all means, carry on. Although, since I had so many posts about the Halloween Challenge, you might want to re-name it to "Derek Adds a Twist to Halloween Challenge" or something like that, so people will understand it's not just me again!

Good luck -- I'll try to come up with something for it!

Ciao for now,
Beth

I brought this one out for anyone who hasn't read it in the past !

Born on Halloween
©2004 Calvin Stewart/Christine Ledford/Chuck Crowe

(V)
Listen to the clock in the cold damp watchtower slowly ticking away
I'm chained to the table and he knows there's no way I can escape
The keeper of the tower is dying and he's captured some skin that's fresh
The hour is coming when his jagged ax is gonna split my flesh

(Ch)
His soul's decayed
His blood is green
He's evil and insanely mean
Mama said it's all because
He was born on Halloween

(V)
All day long I watch him peel the layers of his rotting skin
Preparing to sew my flesh on for a try at renewal again
Like other people, my bones will soon be scattered on the floor
With spiders and roaches crawling where our lives had been before

(Ch)
His soul's decayed
His blood is green
He's evil and insanely mean
Mama said it's all because
He was born on Halloween

(Bridge)
One by one he's tried them all, each member of our family
Uncles, aunts and Mama too, but he could not succeed
But this time will be different and my skin will set him free
I'm the perfect match as Grandpa's ax comes swinging down on me

(Ch)
His soul's restored
His blood is clean
He's healthy and no longer mean
All because he found out
I was born on Halloween

(Tag)
Born on Halloween... ( trumpet blast )
I was born on Halloween

HIDee Mz O!

Don't forget "13" and "Let's Microwave Us Some Babies" lurkin' over at Board 3..& here's a Fresh One as of this AM:

"A Kiss In The Mist" (C) 2008 by Stan Good, BMI

You Know Someday..She'll Be Callin'
She Knows Everybody's Name
When She Arrives, It's Appalling
If You're Sick, or You're Lame

Because it's Hard To Escape Her
Because There's Nowhere to Hide
Because You End Up as Vapor
When She's There..By Your Side

(You Get..)
(CHORUS)
A KISS IN THE MIST
(Take Your LAST..Look-Around)
One Last KISS IN THE MIST
& Then That Lady Lays You Down.

She Wears The Darkest of Clothing
& Her Lips..Ruby Red
She brings Fear..& Some Loathing:
(All She Loves..Ends Up Dead)

But She's Been-Here..For Ages
She Knows Her Way-Around
Surprise-Kiss on Your Face Is
Last Thing You Feel..Headin' Down.

(You Get..)
(CHORUS)
A KISS IN THE MIST
(Take Your Last..Look-Around)
One Last KISS IN THE MIST
As Lady Death..Lays Tou Down.

(BRIDGE)
Now SOME..Think She's SWEET
& MOST..Think She's CRUEL
She's NOT..Too-Discrete:
(She's a FAV'RITE With FOOLS...)

(All Get..)
(CHORUS)
A KISS IN THE MIST
(Take Your Last Look-Around)
One Last KISS IN THE MIST
As Lady Death..Lays You Down

(TAG)
One Last KISS IN THE MIST
Your Next Stop's..Underground.

All Rights Reserved.

One of the first songs I ever wrote is on a piece of paper in a box in storage somewhere. Probably yellowed and crumbling by now. This was back in the mid '70's as a prolific teenage songwriter. If my memory serves me, it went something like this:
(happy country style arrangement, sung with a twang):

If I had eyes
Then I could see
If I had arms
I could climb a tree
If I had feet
Then I would flee

But I don’t
Cause you murdered me.



This went on and on for several verses dealing with all manner of decapitation. Fun. Not sure if this counts in the big count or not.

Can you have two? This is my second one. A Halloween folk song.

Maggie and Jacob

Maggie was walking home from school
She was glad that it was Halloween
All of her friends were dressing up
Getting ready to holler and scream
There was a vacant house on the corner
A noise was coming from inside
She opened the gate went up to the porch
And she couldn’t believe her eyes

There was a party going on in there
Ghosts and goblins were everywhere
The head witch was yelling and carrying on
Saying this is our night to scare
A little boy ghost sat all alone
And he seemed a little subdued
This was his first time at the party
And he didn’t know what to do

Maggie recognized him right away
Cause Jacob was her best friend
When he was killed by a drunk driver
She thought her world would end
The head witch took him by the hand
Said you’ll come around in time
Because tonight is Halloween
This is your night to shine

Maggie ran home and told her parents
About what she had just seen
They told her that she was seeing things
And they blamed it on Halloween
She put on her suit and got ready to go
To walk her regular beat
She knew tonight would be different
Cause she had a young friend to meet

The very first house she came to
Maggie thought she heard a noise
Jacob came out of the bushes
And Maggie jumped for joy
Jacob did his best imitation
Waved his arms and hollered “boo”
Maggie just laughed and told him
I’m not scared cause I know you

I know that you are Jacob
You couldn’t scare me if you tried
They hugged each other and held on tight
Then they both broke down and cried
The rest of the night they made the rounds
Going door to door for a treat
They made quite a pair and they were content
Holding hands walking down the street

Now every year about this time
When Halloween rolls around
Maggie and Jacob get together
As they make their trip through town
Maggie tells Jacob about their friends
And what all has been going on
And they both know that on Halloween
They will never be alone

This ain't exactly a Trick or Treat song... but it's sure scary enough

Rachel's Sister
Tripp & Mike Caro
www.substudiomusic.com/Rachel'sSister.mp3

Hidden
like a dirty little secret
all the while
trying to keep it

Deceit
comes with a grave addiction
she strokes
a caring apparition

<CHORUS>
Rachel’s Sister
Never get up again
Bend and twist her
Rachel’s sister

Blood Moon
brings the cold outside
it doesn’t
further her demise

A pale horse
waits with inhibition
and haunts
her with this condition

<CHORUS>
Rachel’s Sister
Never get up again
Bend and twist her
Rachel’s sister

What force deemed her execution
Leaving her with no illusion

What good
is she on her knees
her body
filled with this disease

Delirious
words to the sky
oh how I
wish she would just die

Hey Gang,

I have just noticed this flurry of new songs! Thanks all of you. I'll have to come back later....still hostessing my daughters' sleepover....with eight 9 & 10 years old (two wanted to go home ~2:30 AM!!

So I'm working on about two hours interrupted sleep, so don't know that I'd be able to make any rational comments til they leave, I've napped, then had COFFEE!!

Thanks though...I appreciate it!

Later,
Beth

Hey Calvin,

Well I'm glad I just finished breakfast before perusing "Born On Halloween" -- NOT!

Nevertheless, right from the get-go, it's appropriately spooky and gory and suspenseful. Reminds me of course of the feller in "Silence of the Lambs" who was making his special suit too.

I don't know Christine, so I can't speak to her involvement, but I fairly doubt you were in charge of the verses! There's practically a whole song for you in each one. The detail though sets the tone and the scene perfectly. The chorus seems to have more of your stamp on it.

Natch, the bridge and last chorus twist are a treat for this listener!! Great full circle.

Finally, thanks for contributing to this thread again....seems like you and Stan are about neck and neck!!

Cheers,
Beth

P.S. As an aside, my Dad's birthday is October 30th (i.e. Halloween Eve). And believe it or not, he has a pointed ear....

Belated Good Morning, Stanerooski,

I was just telling Calvin you two have been real sweet in moving this thread along. I'll have to go dig up "13" and "Microwave Babies", and copy and paste 'em over here (though as I think I mentioned, I just can't comment on the latter one....)

Anyway, a Kiss in the Mist, huh? Well let's take a gander, shall we?

Goodness, she doesn't sound like a very nice gal. And I'll admit, I'm not sure exactly who or what you mean? I'm thinking Grim Reaper....no, likely a dude,....the Hand of Fate...no, generic, no kissing....Bride of Frankenstein? Doubt it, I think she's pretty faithful to the big guy....okay, I suppose it doesn't matter, because you've given me the goosebumps!

OH, for goodness sakes, I just read thru it again -- LADY DEATH -- duh!!

Well, still have to say, you've got some great rhymes in here, Stan -- callin'/appalling, excellent; cloathing/loathing, cool.

Overall, between this and the JM/Calvin number, I ain't going near mist any time soon. And the strange part is, that's exactly the weather we have going on right now!!

So thanks again for this one Stan. I'll go look for the others a bit later...

Have a groovy day,
Beth

Hey Roy!

Can you have two??? Gosh, I think Stan and Calvin have a half dozen between 'em, so sure, knock yourself out!!

Let's see what we have here:

WOW. What an unusual and bittersweet Halloween story! I would have thought EVERY angle had been covered in some way, but this one is new to me. This section was especially moving:

A little boy ghost sat all alone
And he seemed a little subdued
This was his first time at the party
And he didn’t know what to do

I notice you don't have a chorus per se, and though I think this is certainly long enough and keeps the story moving along, I wonder if a chorus about Maggie and Jacob somewhere might add another layer of interest. Maybe talking about the things they used to do together, or their new relationship. Something like...

Maggie and Jacob
They used to be friends
A terrible moment
Brought the boy to his end
But on Halloween
They don't have to pretend
And for a short while
Life and Death blend

Don't even know how you'd work that in, but just some food for thought.

Anyway, I really really liked this one Roy. Kudos to you for coming up with such a unique Halloween treat. So glad you came back with another entry!!

Cheers,
Beth

Gadzooks, Mike!

This is certainly macabre! The lyrics are a bit obscure to me, but still compelling -- and the music is well-suited to it.

So the question for me becomes : what are you talking about? I'm afraid my first thought was necrophelia...and I suppose it doesn't matter to a degree, but I'm certainly curious if I'm missing out on a great inside story.

Regardless, I really appreciate you taking the time to play along with us here.

Have a groovy day!
Beth

Hello/Happy Halloween & thanks if you've taken the time to listen to this Halloween tune.
And Joice, thank you for putting your touch on this, especially since I rushed you !
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Spider House
© words and music by C. Stewart & Joice Marie ( Oct. 24, 2008 )

Theres a black house
On a dark road
With a big rusty door

Outside the house
It seems ok
But let me tell you more

Cobwebs of death, cobwebs of death

Inside the house
Are skeletons
On the dusty floor

Cobwebs of death, cobwebs of death

CHORUS...
It's a spiders house
Come inside her house and cry
It's a spiders house
Come inside her house you'll die

Cobwebs of death, cobwebs of death

Stand beside her
Drinking cider
From an old tin can
She lives on poison
From your brain
She's trapped another man

Cobwebs of death, cobwebs of death

REPEAT CHORUS....

She crawled inside your ears
Spun those spider gears

Cobwebs of death, cobwebs of death

Tangled, mangled, strangled, in the cobwebs of death

REPEAT CHORUS.....

Cobwebs of death, cobwebs of death

REPEAT CHORUS.....

Cobwebs of death, cobwebs of death

Hi Beth, And Great thread by the way

The condition is spinal meningitis yikes! Fortunately thank God it is not a personal song in any way.

It's based on Stephen King characters, "Pet Cemetery" When Rachel was 8 years old she had an older sister Zelda who was very badly sick with this disease. She was very deformed and scary to anyone never mind an 8 year old girl. She was confined to her bedroom for quite some time,hidden away from the world. Zelda gets more scary,crazy and tempered as it worsened. One night she finally died choking to death with Rachel in the room.

The lyrics :

The pale horse.. Death is upon her but is haunting her with this condition instead of taking her quickly.

What force deemed her execution
Leaving her with no illusion

Just plain heavy man! How does this happen?

What good
is she on her knees
her body
filled with this disease

Delirious
words to the sky
oh how I
wish she would just die

Basically even praying by either one couldn't seem to comfort this situation.
It's so crazy in that room that the words of prayer seem like delirious words to the sky to an 8 year old panic stricken & plain scared to death.

They just want it to all end..... Scary stuff fictional as well as very real.
Tripp is the one who started this project and these lyrics. I just basically filled gaps and rocked out a little

Happy Halloween!

Hey Mike,

Boy, talk about missing the mark by a MILE!! Not that spinal meningitis is amusing in anyway, I'm just laughing at my erroneous interpretation of the situation.

Funny though, I read "Pet Cemetery" about a million years ago, and I have absolutely no recollection of that part of the book. 'Course, Stephen King gets me so scared I generally block out everything but the title. Were there pets in it? A cemetery? :o Hmmmmmm.

So thanks for the blow-by-blow explanation. Sure makes the read that much creepier.

Beth

Beth, we gotta keep ya busy!! Here is a new one for '08:

I'm Your Boogieman
copyright © 2008 Brenda McBryde

Chorus:
Hey baby, I'm your Boogieman
Gonna put some soul in this ghost town
Gonna dig up lots a ground
I'm gonna make ya scream and holla
Like there's no tomorra
This place is dead lets liven things up
Because I'm your Boogieman
Yeah baby, you're in luck

VERSE:
Don't huddle there in the dark
Trust me, I'm all bite and no bark
Take my hand and we'll have a howlin' good time
Runnin' under the midnight sky

Chorus:
Hey baby, I'm your Boogieman
Gonna put some soul in this ghost town
Gonna dig up lots a ground
I'm gonna make ya scream and holla
Like there's no tomorra
This place is dead lets liven things up
Because I'm your Boogieman
Yeah baby, you're in luck

Bridge:
Bet your life you can run but ya can't hide
not from your Boogieman, no baby not tonight

Chorus:
Hey baby, I'm your Boogieman
Gonna put some soul in this ghost town
Gonna dig up lots a ground
I'm gonna make ya scream and holla
Like there's no tomorra
This place is dead lets liven things up
Because I'm your Boogieman
Yeah baby, you're in luck

Whoops Calvin and Joice,

Looks like I skipped right over you, sorry. Gosh, if we ever make it to a hundred posts by Friday ( ), you are SO in the running for that bag of candy corn!

Okay, right off the bat (no pun intended), you've kicked my goosebumps into high gear with the word SPIDER. Sure, "Charlotte's Web" was a sweet little book, but as a rule, I am not a fan of those particular arachnids. Give me a stampeding wild boar, a hungry lion, even a big fat snake -- I'd take any one of 'em over a spider. So the idea of there being a whole HOUSE dedicated to these creepy crawlers? Needless to say, there goes the neighborhood.

As to the song itself, yikes, it's suitably unsettling. I like the unusual format, with the "Cobwebs of death, cobwebs of death" popping in unexpectedly, like those dang spiders.

You've also got some great rhymes going -- both internally and across the verses. I think this was my favorite....

Stand beside her
Drinking cider

....such the suspenseful THEN WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!!??

I did have one itsy bitsy nit -- though I'm reluctant to get into it since it's a gross discussion. Well, I'm a big brave moderator, so here goes:

In the following line, which is fantabulous....

Tangled, mangled, strangled, in the cobwebs of death

Shouldn't "strangled" precede "mangled"? I would think that a the victim in the web gets tangled up, then it's slowly strangled, THEN THE SPIDER COMES ALONG AND HELPS WITH MANGLING. Course, artistic license covers you here, and it likely sounds better the way you have it written.

Anyway, nice job you two -- lyrically and musically.

Happy Halloween in advance! (Sure is a busy week !)

Ciao for now,
Beth

Hey Brenda,

Sorry I missed you -- you snuck in between posts!

Anyway, you cracked me up with this one. I can see a Chris Rock doing this as a video...so fun.

Some of your rhymes are such a stretch that they are simply a riot. This is my favorite section:

I'm gonna make ya scream and holla
Like there's no tomorra
This place is dead lets liven things up

Also, "all bite and no bark" -- great stuff!!

Nice to see the "lighter" side of Halloween for a change. We've had quite a few gruesome ones!

Thanks again for keeping this thing going. I think if we count the few strays who never came over to this thread, and the songs Derek got from his Phase II Halloween Challenge, I think we got up to over 50 songs, so that's cool.

Pre-Happy Halloween!!
Beth

Here's a fresh one from this morning for the list:

The Halloween Grinch
I'm putting razors in the apples tonight
It's time to give those little cretins their final fright
Open wide their little feeder
They'll soon be talkin' with St. Peter
When they walk into that light
I'm putting razors in the apples tonight
Razors in the apples tonight

I would love to watch them twinge
When they bite into a syringe
And cry to mommy as they cringe
But I'm putting razors in the apples tonight
Razors in the apples tonight

I'd be doing the parents right
No more yelling, "Bring your toys in!"
When they're drowned in candied poison
But I'm putting razors in the apples tonight


I'll be happy when they're gone
I'm tired of them trampling on my lawn!!
I'm putting razors in the apples tonight.
Razors in the apples tonight.

(spoken snidely) Sharp, rusty razors, broken blades

Whoa, Tom!

You've got sort of a Grinch/Evil Stepmother thing going on here -- and yet you still put them to shame!!

Aside from the "that wouldn't be very nice" factor, it borders on what some of us are probably already thinking about -- Is this an old wive's tale? Has anyone really had a razor blade in an apple? I know we warn our children every year.....

Which reminds me -- I wonder if you could somehow incorporate that other horrid apple question: "What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple!" EWWWWWWW. 'Course, that's a difference kind of fright than the sinister one you've set up.

I won't pull out any favorite lines -- since I feel I'd be "enabling" you... But overall, an appropriately gruesome romp!!

Have a great night tomorrow, Hannibal!!

Beth

"i feel like stephen king tonight"

most of his titles comprise all the lyric... and yes, i got his personal permission to "go for it"! he might even end up using it one day in one of his productions... so he said!... i'm still waiting!

http://www.murreytunes.com/mp3s/stephenking.mp3

rock on,
r.

Hey Richard,

Welcome to this zany thread!

I read your story about this song on the other thread....nice that he's so approachable (in his shyness)....

As for the song, it's certainly a novelty -- I didn't try to count all the titles, but you sure squeezed a lot in there. Your voice is very pleasant to listen to, and the music and production were excellent. Right from the first couple of notes I was engaged.

As for future use of the song, it might work well if and when they do the "Hollywood True Story of Stephen King" -- you've got the built-in soundtrack.

Good luck and thanks for sharing!
Beth

Thanks Beth for the nice compliment!
I wish i could sing, but alas, the vocals are by that awesome talent from Nashville, Mr. Ray Barnette.
Glad you enjoyed it.
rock on,
r.